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| There You’ll Be 1/? PG By: Lena © 2001 jetcgroups01@yahoo.com Author’s Note: This is part two of “Cradle In All” that Kath so graciously and wonderfully wrote. With her permission I was able to add this second part for her convenience. She herself will have her own but maybe she won’t this way you don’t have to wait. Feedback is appreciated… and wanted. Summery: Takes place a few months after the startling events that raveled up in the conclusion of “Cradle In All.” Janeway wants another baby but is unsure if she wants to go through the painful surgery that the Doctor has brought to her attention shortly after she was treated for her injuries that occurred on the planet. *** Prologue Kathryn Janeway looked to the ceiling for the 100th time it that last 20 minutes. She couldn’t sleep she leaned over to the nightstand hoping that she would not wake the slumber of her husband Chakotay. There was so much going on her mind she was lucky to get any rest at all. Slowly she got up and out of bed slithered over to the closet and pulled on her robe. B’Elanna would be able to help her out if only she wasn’t pregnant herself. She was probably be resting while Tom worked extra shifts so he could take time off for when the baby would arrive. Looking over to Chakotay she slide out the door quickly. Soon after she arrived at B’Elanna’s door. The common beep echoed the silent corridors as Janeway looked around. This is what she felt like inside, alone without any sound coming through the common busy corridors of VOYAGER convinced her even more that she would never feel good again. Too much had occurred in such a brief moment of time. Once not very long ago she had a child inside her womb and responded to every movement her mother gave. But now there was nothing. “Come In….” Janeway entered the darkened doorway of her best friend. When ever she felt down she know that B’Elanna could cheer her up with just a look. B’Elanna as usual greeted Janeway at the door with a smile. For a brief moment she felt better. “I hope I didn’t wake you.” “Nah, the baby’s been kicking all night there was no way that I would have gotten any sleep tonight. I was just ready to go to the Mess Hall, I’m sure Neelix is still there if you would like to join me.” “Sure.” Together the two women walked down the corridor smiling at the few crewmember who where ready to go down for the night. None spoke fearing that what ever they would say may offend their already depressed captain. B’Elanna exchanged a few words to her engineering crew as they went on duty. As the doors hissed open to the Mess Hall Neelix greeted the women with his usual smile and tried to make them comfortable. Bringing them over to a quiet corner where they would have privacy. Janeway never understood how Neelix new she wanted to be alone with her best friend and often wondered if he should be promoted to the ship counselor. A counselor would be a good addition now to help her bring her feelings to ease. As the women took their seats Neelix brought over a cylinder of coffee for Janeway and a cylinder of spring water for B’Elanna. He knew it was going to be very long night. As he sat down the containers he smiled and excused himself to the Kitchen to clean up before he would close for the night. “The Mess Hall is open 24 hrs if you need it and I am always here for you if you need some help.” “Thanks but I think that B’Elanna can help me through this but if she can’t than I know who I can go to, you always.” “Hey that’s my job well if you call this is job if it were a job than I would not like it at all and I do, in fact I love it. I better go the replicator is up and running.” “Thanks Neelix see you tomorrow morning.” When Neelix is out of the room and B’Elanna has checked for eavesdroppers she takes her seat next to Janeway. “Quarter for your thoughts.” “I offer you a dollar but currency doesn’t exist any longer remember?” “I know, I just was trying to lighten the mood, I know something is bothering you and I would like to know what and see if I could help.” “I know, you always know when I need you. Remember a few months back when I delivered my daughter on that planet.” “Yes, I heard about it what happened?” “I went into premature labor because of the beating I received from Redik Tom had to perform a cesarean section right there or we both would have died. But something went terribly wrong and Tom really tried to do everything he could but my daughter died anyway.” “I know it’s been around the ship. What can I do?” “Nothing, I’m sure that you hadn’t heard the whole thing now did you?” “I suppose not.” “Well when we returned to the ship the Doctor gave me an exam. He told me that I would probably never be able to have children or even get pregnant again because of what happened unless he would do some serious surgery.” “Well what have you decided?” “I know that Chakotay wanted children just as bad as I did, and when I got pregnant I hadn’t been happier in my life. You should have seen Chakotay’s face he looked like a kid in the candy store. But know I don’t know if he will ever be able to be that happy again. I want to do what is right but I don’t know if I can handle the surgery.” “Well what does this surgery involve?” “I just went to the doctor today, without Chakotay so I can find out what would be involved. The doctor has told me that I have a lot of scar tissue around where the incision was, that tissue is blocking my tubes and that I could never hold a child inside of my uterus for it would burst.” “I don’t know what to tell you. I think you should do what your heart tell you to do.” “But that’s it I’m afraid to get pregnant again so I am afraid to get the surgery.” “Why are you afraid to go through with the surgery. I can tell you want children. And why are you afraid to have more children?” “I don’t know, at times like this I wish we did have a counselor, because I could sure use one right about now. We all could. Thousands of light years away from home, away from family, our loved ones, Starfleet, Naomi hasn’t ever met her father. If we keep going at this rate she will never meet her father. He was such a great man and Samantha did right by sending him pictures he may never meet her.” “She loves this ship and she loves everyone on it. She’s the sweetest thing, and now when this baby comes I know I can always have someone come over and play with her when she’s older. Maybe even get a sitter a time or two if Samantha would let me barrow Naomi for a few hours.” “I’m sure she would. So how is your pregnancy thus far?” “Oh I have good days and bad days. She likes to keep me up most of the night. When I was in my first trimester I had some pretty scary moments. I almost passed out several times, but I didn’t have any morning sickness.” “You were lucky than, I had some at times I just wanted to roll up and die, but I got through it and as my pregnancy continued I actually felt good about the baby. At first I was scared wondering what kind of place is a starship to raise children. I sat down with Neelix and we talked for hours on how wonderful it would be to actually hear the pitter-patter of tiny little feet running around the corridors late at night. Even a nursery being added in one of our cargo bay now with your baby we can have it.” “We always could if only you would have let the crew bring their children on in the first place.” “But it was only supposed to be a three week trip. I wasn’t sure what kind of place the badlands were like. Even the name scares me to death so I didn’t want any of the children to possibly be in danger. I thought I was doing the right thing, now I know that our crew will never see their families again.” “This ship is our family, our baby is going to love it here and everyone will love her. So no matter what would happen we know that we will always have our VOYAGER family.” “I suppose.” “I really think you should have this surgery, it may be dangerous and painful but do you really think you could go on without any children?” B’Elanna smiles and gets up to exit the Mess Hall leaving Janeway in the darkness with the company of her thoughts. Hours go by while Janeway sat in the darkness and stillness alone in the Mess Hall. After hours of debating what B’Elanna had said as she was leaving the Mess Hall. Maybe she should go through the surgery regardless to how painful the doctor said it would be. Several more minutes go by and Janeway finally believes that she should at least go to sickbay and get the details. Outside of Sickbay doors Janeway contemplates if she really wants to do what she decided earlier and hesitates slightly only to turn away and head back to their quarters. Inside Chakotay is still sound asleep, she was pleased with that and crawled into bed next to him. To her surprise he slides his hand over her body and opens his eyes “Your feet are freezing, where have you been?” “I had a little chat with B’Elanna” “About what?” “Nothing of your interest, just girl talk.” “Whatever lets try and get some sleep.” Chakotay gives a kiss but she know she will not be sleeping tonight there was still too much going on in her head. And what B’Elanna just said gave her a headache. No she was not going to sleep tonight. TBC… |
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