"If my fist clenches, crack it open."
- The Who

5/10/00 Grumpy.

The fastest way to make somebody grumpy is to constantly comment how grumpy they are.

Everybody around me is convinced I am in a lousy mood.It started out a few days ago when I probably was tired and genuinely grumpy. I probably blew my fuse when the children were discovering primal scream therapy while I was on the phone, after asking the kids nicely to keep it down I finally shouted, "Everybody be Quiet!"
"SHEESH. Dad, you're Grumpy."
...or maybe it was when the dog escaped from her kennel for the tenth time of the day... when I finally said,"I refuse to chase the stupid dog...she'll come home when she is good and ready!"
"Man Ken...What the heck is wrong with you?"

Now I'm not even in a lousy mood, and I get accused of being mad at the world. Now all I have to say is, "No mashed potatoes for me please.", and I get responses like:
"Well, excuse me for living."
or
"Gee... somebody forgot to take their Prozac today."

I don't want to be the designated grump, because I didn't earn the title. I'm the dad... I'm the one that buys them Oreos and Slim-Jims, rent's Godzilla movies and parks on the roof of parking structures. I'm the fun guy. I sing in the car, play Nintendo 64, and watch Nickelodeon.

So stop telling me I'm grumpy before I get mad.

"I'm not grumpy dammit."

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