5/11/00 On the Radio I want a new computer. A nice friendly imac. My current Mac is an anachronism. 60 Mhz. 14.4 modem. 700Mb hard drive. It won't play anything but the most rudimentary kids' CD ROM games. I deserve a new mac. The problems with my plan to nab a free computer are jammed phone lines, and the fact that I would have to listen to a month's worth of "Portland's Best Oldies". I like a romp down nostalgia lane just as much as anybody else, but eleven straight days of "Flying Purple People Eater" and "Beep-Beep" has me on the brink of emotional breakdown. The fact that I have only gotten through once in the past week has me ready give up. Today's song of the day was "Brown-eyed girl" by Van Morrison. I'll admit it's a decent song...so I started to convince myself that today was my lucky day. I WILL BE CALLER #97! So I waded through crappy music from one hit wonder bands : "Do you love me" - By the Rascals. "My boyfriends back"...."Good Vibrations". I plowed through Dion and the Belmonts...Nancy Sinatra...every nauseating '60s girl-bands ever. Finally at 4pm. "Brown-eyed girl" began playing, and I started speed dialing like there was no tommorrow. Today is my lucky day...I will be caller #97...I deserve the iMac more than anybody else in the Portland Metro area. All I was getting was busy signals until ten minutes after the song had ended. The it began to ring! My heart was racing... and I practiced my "surprised, happy-winning-listener-lines" in my head, even though all the while I knew today was my day...I will be caller #97! The the DJ answered: "KISN, you are caller number 96..." "fer real?" was my witty reply. "I'm so sorry, please try again tomorrow." said his phony radio voice. "I hate you." then I hung up. Then seconds later I heard the D.J. giving my computer to some undeserving hag in Estacata...then they played "Love Potion #9".
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"wondering who wrote the book of love."