All right, I know it has been a good long time since I last updated. It certainly wasn't because I didn't want to write. I had every intention of filling y'all in on the details.

I seem to have lost my diligence in all matters that aren't about work. I can't find the time, or energy, to invest in all the details in my life simultaneously at work and at home. The past few days have been all about taking care of the sick folks at home, and getting a working washer and dryer in the house (we have been doing laundry at my mother-in-laws place since July.).

The previous week was all about auto-repair, towing. Of course, all of this has taken a major toll on the checking account. Now, I'm in the position of doing the "creative accounting" to make all of this work. Its gonna be a combination of severely frugal living and impeccable timing, to prevent a budget meltdown. Now I'm forced into diligence.

Share the poverty.
I'm trying to figure myself out. I'm trying to figure out the way my psyche works. (If I start to sound like a guest on Oprah. slap me.) There is obviously a reason all people act and react the way they do. Maybe it's instinct, or habit. I figure it's pretty damn tough to change somebody's actions, but I do have ultimate control of my reactions. I think my reactions are way off base... my instincts are wrong, I have developed a bad habit.

For me, the worst thing I could ever do, is to disappoint people. It's my instinct to give people what they want, regardless of the cost to me. Now, I'm trying to figure out how to make decisions that are directly measured against it's cost to me. So, I called Monica, cringed as the phone rang, let her know where we stand financially, let her share in the responsiblity of making this budget work. Hpoefully this will make it easier in the near future for me to deny my instincts... build a new habit.

"Demand side economist."