Characters:
(CG) Category Girl (similar to Vanna White, but only names categories)
(H) Host
(1) Contestant 1
(2) Contestant 2
(3) Contestant 3

(Setting- Game Show resembling Jeapordy®)

H- Hello and welcome to another round of Answer the Question. Here's todays contestants..

(contestants walk on as H announces their names as they appear.)

H- Now, Contestant 1, you won last game, the judges are still unsure how, but, you did, so you pick the category. The categories are..

CG- Biology, Quantum Physics, Great Balls of Fire, Stupid Pet Tricks, Milking Cows, Spider-Man®, U.S. Presidents, and Potpourri.

1- I'll take Spam for 100.

H- (Heavy sigh) Contestant 1, Spam is not a category...

1- Oh. Then I'll take flying pigs for 500.

H- Ok, Contestant 2, pick a category.

2- Um... I'll take Biology for 100.

H- Alrighty, Biology for 100. This is the "brain" of the cell.

(Contestant 1 Buzzes)

1- I love flying pigs!

H- I'm sorry, that was wrong for two reasons. One, it has nothing to do with pigs, and two, it had to be in the form of a question.

(Contestant 3 Buzzes)

3- What is the nucleus?

H- Correct! 100 points for you Contestant 3! Pick a category.

3- I'll take Potpourri for 400.

H- You've found todays Daily Double, and since you only have 100 points, you have to bet it all.. doesn't that suck? Now, the answer is... The amount of hairs on the little pigs chinny chin chin.

(Contestant 3 does a thinking pose)

3- 45

H- Oh.. I'm sorry, that's wrong. The answer was beef. Pick a category.

3- What? What kind of an answer was that? Weren't you asking for a number?

H- (confused) That's not a category..

3- Fine... I'll take Spider-Man for 600.

H- The point value only goes up to 500.

3- I SAID 600!

H- Okay, Okay. Spider-Man for 600. The artist who created the big eyes in Spider-Man's costume and created venom.

(Contestant 2 Buzzes)

2- Oops.. didn't mean to hit that.

H- I'm sorry, that's wrong. You're now at negative 600 points. Pick a category.

2- But I didn't mean to hit the button!

H- (confused) That's not a category..

2- Arg! That's it! I'm outta here! (exits)

(Contestant 1 Buzzes)

1- Who are flying pigs?

H- Can someone disconnect Contestant 1's buzzer? Ok, let's just move on to Final Answers Round. After we give you the answer, write down the corresponding question and a point value. The answer is.. "The area of the earth in units squared."

(3 and 1 write on pads in front of them.)

H- Alright, times up! Contestant 1.. as much as I fear your answer.. what was it? (1 holds up sign saying "I Like Spam and Flying Pigs. Point value is 5) (after reading sign outloud, H Sighs and just walks over to 3) Contestant 3, what was your answer? (3 holds up sign saying "How the hell is anyone supposed to know that you dick?! Cash value is 10,000) (H reads sign out loud) That's it! Forget this! (H exits)

(3 and 1 look at each other for a few seconds, then 1 dives onto 3)

Dave Ferry
1998

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