Hello everyone! Welcome to the best infomercial of all infomercials ever made. Here at this infomercial we make history every time someone phones us. How you ask? Well, it's very simple. We here at Pathetic Stupid Losers Dating Inc. help people find dates. The people we help find dates for are usually pathetic, stupid or just plain losers. If any of those descriptions apply to you, keep watching. We may change your life forever. This is how we work, you pay us $39.95 and we will set you up on a date with another pathetic, stupid loser just like yourself! All you have to do is call our 1 800 number, answer a few questions about yourself and what you want in a date and you're on your way! So if you're pathetic, a loser, stupid and pathetic, a stupid loser, a pathetic stupid loser, a pathetic loser or just plain stupid, we're you're dating service and we're here for you! Now you're thinking this sounds too good to be true, aren't you? Well, to show just how serious we are, let's talk to some of the people we've found dates for in the past, shall we? This is George. George phoned us a year ago complaining that he was a stupid pathetic loser. Now look at him, he's married to another stupid pathetic loser just like himself! If you don't think this can actually come true for you, give it a try anyway. What can you lose, besides $39.95? So phone us now, operators are standing by. And remember, if you're pathetic, a loser, stupid and pathetic, a stupid loser, a pathetic stupid loser, a pathetic loser or just plain stupid, we're you're dating service and we're here for you! So phone now!
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