TITLE: Lupus Whoopus! (1/1) 
AUTHOR: arcpus 
Email: arcpus@yahoo.com
CODES: Voy, c/p, r, challenge for the weekly VOY thing. 
DISCLAIMER:  No copyright is implied here. I am having fun.  Feedback
is welcomed and answered. :) BWAHAHAHA! BRING IT ON!!!! Dedicated to
all ceepee afficionados out there and to Ruffles and Boom-Boom and
everyone else too. HUGGIE! 
NOTE: This humorous little ditty is for the voyager Die! J/C! Die!  Fest. 
Long may they reign. <SNICKER!>





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Star Fleet HQ, a hearing room ...

"So, you are telling us that this happened and you can’t find the
source? Or any way to reverse this event?"

"That’s correct."

Chakotay sat quietly, his face impassive. The hearing board was very
thorough, going through all the documentation with care. This had
never happened before. The return of Voyager from the Delta Quadrant
after being missing for seven years was muted by the odd circumstances
that were being related.

The data was clear, the outcome unmistakable and there was probably
nothing that they were going to be able to do about it. Chakotay could
see the defeat on their faces. He could remember it clearly on the
faces of his own crew of scientists ...

In the Delta ...

"I wonder when we are EVER going to get through this sector of space.
This whole business, the strangers that are following us, they give me
the willies."

Tom Paris stretched and sighed, rising and walking to the replicator.
He secured coffee, turning and glancing at the figure lounging on his
couch. "Something?"

"Tea, green," Chakotay replied, yawning broadly.

"You sound beat. Get a massage." Tom turned and smiled, picking up the
tea and carrying it to his superior officer.

Chakotay took it and smiled, sighing at the familiar aroma of the hot
liquid. "You volunteering?"

"I could," Tom replied jauntily, sitting on the couch. "But that might
impinge my next performance evaluation."

"How so?" Chakotay asked, smirking.

"She might feel miffed if someone else trod on her private preserve."

Chakotay shook his head, putting the cup down. He leaned forward,
resting his elbows on his knees. "What a crock, Paris. Janeway and I
are colleagues and nothing more."

"Tell me you aren’t getting horizontal," Tom retorted, smirking at his
nemesis.

"We aren’t."

It was silent a moment and then Chakotay sighed, leaning back. "You
are a real bastard, you know that?"

"I do. So ... it’s true. You’re doing the Captain."

Chakotay looked at Tom with disgust. "Doing? Is that some sort of
twentieth-century term for sex?"

"Yeah, one of my favorites. Tell me, Chakotay ... what’s it like to do
the Captain?"

Chakotay smirked and lay his head back, sighing. "I don’t kiss and
tell."

"Of course you do," Tom rebutted, snorting. "You do, you wanker."

Chakotay glanced at him again, smiling. "Wanker?"

"Sure," Tom said, standing and moving to sit next to Chakotay. "I like
that word too."

"What else do you like, Tom?"

"Lots of things. Most of them physical."

"So I’ve been told," Chakotay replied, more than aware of Tom’s
closeness. "I have to go now."

"I know," Tom replied, his hand resting on Chakotay’s flat stomach.
"You don’t have to if you really don’t want to. I suppose this has to
do with duty and some such shit?"

"Yeah," Chakotay said, his voice filled with regret.

"Okay, then go," Tom said, regret in his voice too.

Chakotay rose and turned to Tom, the slightly taller man rising with
him. They stood toe-to-toe and sighed at the same time. "This is not
easy, Tommy. I would rather stay."

"Good. Next time, okay?" Tom replied, his lips as close to Chakotay’s
could be without touching.

"Next time," Chakotay echoed. With great reluctance, he turned and
walked to the door, slipping out into the corridor, the door closing
behind him.

Tom stood a long time staring at the doorway and then with a sigh,
walked into the head to jerk off yet again.

***************Down the corridor ...

He paused before her cabin, thinking furiously before he finally
knocked. A voice inside beckoned him in and he entered, the door
sliding shut behind him. He looked around, the dimmed lighting
soothing.

"I’m in here," a feminine voice whispered.

He sighed and walked forward, entering the bedroom. Beyond, in the
flickering light of candles, Chakotay heard the sound of water. He
walked to the door and paused, smiling slightly.  "Hello."

She smiled and nodded. "Hello. Care to join me?"

"Captain, that would be fraternization," Chakotay replied. "You know I
would be remiss in my duty if I fraternized."

"Even if I order you too?" Janeway asked, smirking slightly.

He sipped his champagne. "Well, I would have to consider that
carefully and check it against regulations and precedent-"

"Just say no, Chakotay," Janeway replied, laughing out loud. "I won’t
give you demerits."

Chakotay laughed out loud, shaking his head in affection. "I know,
Kathryn."

"So, how are we doing against the bad guys?"

"We cannot identify them yet but they are following us. Others in this
sector say to stay away from them at all costs. They will harm us but
they don’t say how," Chakotay replied, sighing. "That is all we can
translate. There’s more but we can’t decipher it."

Kathryn nodded. "I’ll be on duty tomorrow. These days off were good
for me, I have to admit. A toast to the doctor."

They clinked glasses and sat together, talking quietly for a couple of
hours until Chakotay rose and begged off, leaving her alone again. She
watched him leave, regret in her heart over rejecting his overtures in
the past. Being alone was crap, she thought, considering her options.
Crap, crap, crap.

***************That next day ...

They sat in their usual places when the aliens hit. The odd attack was
swift and then over, discombobulation reigning all around them.
Chakotay, taking command because of the incapacitation of the Captain,
fought them off and they fled, disappearing into a nearby nebula. When
it was over, he looked about the Bridge, astonished at the chaos all
around him.

It was his job now to lead them onward and he did, driving the
diminished crew forward, making a path to a wormhole that was a
miracle from the creator of the universe. The easy part was getting
there. The hard part was explaining to the Federation what had
happened prior to return.

He sat in the chair at Star Fleet Command, the remaining crew outside
waiting for him. They had all testified, giving their best estimations
of the events leading to their return and what they were able to
relate about their predicament. It was the best they could do and in
the end they were released, each of them taking dependents and
possessions to their various homes.	

***************Later that same day ...

Tom Paris stood in the doorway of the transient officer’s housing, bag
in hand. He smiled at Chakotay’s surprise when he turned to see who
had intruded on his packing. "Paris."

"Chakotay," Tom replied, snickering. "Hurry up. The shuttle will be
leaving for Dorvan V shortly. We can’t be late."

"We?" Chakotay asked, a big sappy grin spreading across his handsome
face.

"We, as in two, us, me and you, them," Tom replied, stepping into
Chakotay’s arms.

They would miss the first shuttle.

**************At the Chakotay farmstead on Dorvan V...

They walked along the lakeside, down the path from the house that they
were sharing. It was late afternoon and warm. A big golden lab bounded
down the trail before them, barking and running in frantic circles.
Tom smiled at her and patted her soft hairy head, slipping his hand
through Chakotay’s. "Did you ever think this day would come?"

"I could never believe it wouldn’t," Chakotay replied, kissing Tom’s
hand. "Nice house to live in, offers all over the place including Star
Fleet, a nice fluffy dog ..."

Tom snorted and burst into laughter, reaching down and picking up a
stick. The dog stopped and stared at them both, watching as Tom threw
the stick ahead down the trail. The dog watched it and then looked at
the both of them, her wagging tail drooping.

"Poor dog," Tom said, smirking. "She’s never going to learn to fetch."

"Would you?" Chakotay asked, smiling.

"Nah," Tom replied, continuing along the lakeside with Chakotay.

The dog sat and stared at them, dark blue eyes scrutinizing them
intensely. Then she ran forward and bit them both on the ass.

============================================================ Star
Fleet Medical: Top Secret - (for approved viewing only)   Preliminary
Report: Voyager (Final version pending)  Alien anomalous afflictions,
Delta Quadrant Copy to appropriate departments
============================================================

Given the testimony of the remaining crew of Voyager, we have
concluded that there is nothing in the repertoire of our current level
of technology to help the afflicted members of Voyager’s female crew
in their current dilemma.

It is advised that they stay in the care of the male members of the
crew who have volunteered to vouchsafe them for the time being. They
are all in contact with Star Fleet Medical and Science and have agreed
to bring their charges back for any treatments that in future that
might be devised.

For the time being, this is all I can recommend. Feel free to contact
me. The full reports will be forwarded shortly.

Dr. Alejandro Montez Star Fleet Medical
===============================================================


He shut off his computer and turned, staring at the pile of data that
awaited more scrutiny. They didn’t have the technology to save the
female members of the ship from the two years they had already endured
in their current condition. There was nothing they could do, but it
comforted him that these valuable and much loved officers would be
safe in the care of people who would give them all the shelter and
love that they needed.

He shook his head and rose, staring at the array of photos that
adorned his desk. Dobermans, dachshunds, poodles and labs, all of them
beautiful, lovely and trapped. With a sigh, he turned off his lights
and went home to his family, his wife, his children, and his bulldog
named Seven.

***************That night in a house on Dorvan V ...

"The champagne is cold," Tom said, smiling.

He looked at his lover of two years, lounging at the other end of the
tub. Chakotay smiled.

"I insist. I hate *warm* champagne."

"Is that so?" Tom said, leaning forward to kiss his lover.

Sitting beside the tub, watching with growing agitation, a beautiful
golden lab sat twitching. They paused and looked at her, frowning in
unison. "What, Kathryn?" Chakotay asked, shifting on his sore and
bitten backside.

She looked at him and then barked loudly. Then she jumped into the
middle of the tub. Chaos reigned, claws raked bare skin and men rose
naked and screaming from the tub...

*****Ten minutes later ...   "I hate to do this, Kathryn," Chakotay
said, fixing the rope around the tree. "You have a really long run
here and when you learn not to bite, I’ll let you back in the house.
Think about it."

He stepped back from the wildly barking dog and turned, walking back
to the house and a night of rollicking sex with his soon-to-be spouse,
Tom Paris. Behind him, sitting attached to a chain, Kathryn Janeway,
Captain of Voyager and golden labrador retriever sat in rage and
disgust.

As she sat there, another was watching, a big raw-boned hunting dog
from the neighbors nearby. He was a huge dog, strong and of
indeterminate parentage and he looked at the golden beauty with
growing lust and excitement. He ran forward and stopped near to her,
barking sharply and drawing her attention.

Kathryn turned her head, staring at the dog who was shivering with
excitement just out of her reach.

"Oh, shit!" she thought just before he charged her.

***************Inside the house ...

"What the hell is that?" Tom asked, pausing his doggy style ecstacy
for a moment. Glancing over his shoulder, he caught the red face of
his lover in mid thrust.

"Who cares?" Chakotay said. "Concentrate, Tom."

He gave up the ghost, rollicking to orgasm at the end of his lover’s
dick as outside, just below their window, Kathryn Janeway did too.

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c2003 July 1 Happy Fourth Of July, Everyone!!!!! 
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