| Fuck off Pete! |
| Stories are good for you... read some at your local clinic or if you cant be arsed, read the one conveniently placed here ---> |
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| Think You can write a better story than the one above? oooh big man eh? well i bet you 10 shillings you can't. Try and write a good one. |
| Which is the funniest story? The forgotten Artist An Annoying Buzz Ramblings Brutish Bill Ask Jeeves <NEW> Read this and Die <VERY NEW> Cement King |
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| Oh hey, fancy seeing Jack Palczewski here. Hey Jack, hows things? Everybody say hi to Jack. Dont know who Jack is? go to his page, www.geocities.com/ thetom00gr8/nicetomeathead |
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| Pete sampras was sitting in his lighthouse eating swiss cheese when he heard something hit his giant window. "hmmm... wot's that?" he went to check it out. "Hey, is that a tennis ball?" YES IT IS YOU FUKCING STUPID DICKFACE! wot a tosser that pete sampras is. But anyway, i want to tell you a story, a story soo dark, soo devious, soo (laughs) damn right scary, that if you dont shit your little panties i will giv u 1(one) golden star like this -->*. Wolfman, It's giving me the hump man, u call me like a swamp man, I jump wen u say 'jump' man. heheh, naa i woodnt scare you *. What kinda Horror writer wood that make me? wot? a good one? oh... weLL you can go fuck yourself, or if ur hot, i can go fuck u, either way ur getting fucked. I was just contemplating making this the biggest ever story (on the site) but then i thought, if i have enough time to write a big story i may aswell go and hang myself. Unfortunately i have no rope but thanks to my site i have alternatives (no not string u smart-arse, or, err..a mothers umbilical cord) www.geocities.com/thetom00gr8/killedhimself. Also, this isnt actually a story. Until NOW! Pete, still sitting in his chair, slowly picked up his tennis racket and thought about hitting a tennis ball or two. WHACK! wow, that was his fastest ever serve. well for a grass court anyway. Wot u looking at? Yes, pete has grass insted of carpet. Well come on, he's weird! who do you know that lives in a fricking lighthouse? except for ur mum! ha! Pete began to weep as he realised his mistake. He'd hit his big piece of cheese out of the window insted of his conveniently placed tennis balls. He weeped himself to sleep. While Pete was sleeping, over 37 small fishing boats crashed and sunk leaving behind nothing but their bloody remains. There was a small china boy sitting on a rock, he was cold. "Wot are you doing to that cold china boy you crazyass fool!?" came a voice, it was mine. "Nothing! i was just checking to see if he was cold. And another thing, you can't just write urself into a story..." came an ugly reply, it was Matt's dad. "U were touching that china boy, u ugly fool!" the sexy mans voice was angry. "i wasn't, i just wanted to see his willy.. i mean, i needed to check his bumhole." said the ugly man. "I'm not ugly you stupid voice". oh no u didnt, u didnt just insult my voice? the author's voice? now thats a tool not to be messed with. Matt's dad was consequently slapped many times. "arrghhh stop slapping me, im gay." "WHAT!?" A gay in the story? there's something i hadnt expected...(*sarcasm* there is an unusually high amount of gays in these stories, all of which have been represented as evil characters. strange?) The ugly kiddy fiddler was subsequently crushed, mushed, flushed and other words ending with -shed, except the word 'shed' cos that wood be weird. Pete shed his last tear as he was awoken by all the crushing and mushing. He ran over to his big fuck off window. Note: you shoodnt run in lighthouses, ill tell him later. "What the fish is going on? Where has my collection of over 37 fishing boats gone? Where's my cheese? Where's my china boy with complimentry rock? arrrrgghhh" Pete whined. No change there then! The china boy had only just been imported so you can understand Pete's distress. I'm gonna order my china boy from ebay. yea they got a sale on at the moment. heh! im gonna teach him to do tricks and he can get me drinks and stuff. "You shoodnt run in lighthouses pete." the sexy man, sed as he grew slightly more sexy for no particular reason. "Shut up you stupid voice, im gonna set this story on fire!" And with that sentence the story burned to death. Luckily i managed to salvage these last few sentences with minimal damage, except for the damage to the quality. oooooh the quality was seeeriously damaged. You shooda read this story before the fire, u wooda been off yer tits with happiness. As for Pete's tortoise, well i slapped him up real good. Then i beat Pete with a big square feet of cheese which had recently, out of nowhere(but from the direction of Pete's lighthouse), hit me and become wedged in my big blue afro. BYE + God bless. |
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