sticks.' That's a quote from my friend Billy. I knew a guy called Billy once. This is where the story begins, just after the beginning. It all started when I was fourty six years old. I was dancing to Abba (Dancing Queen) when I realized I had to go work. I got on my pogo stick and headed towards the mines. As I was bouncing along I noticed someone lying in the street, either beaten up, or just taking a quick nap, I couldn't tell. But somehow I knew it was something to do with dogs. I threw my pogo stick on the floor, and with a last gasp of breath I threw myself infront of the steamroller to stop Billy from dying (the tramp was Billy and a steamroller was heading towards him). I was immediately crushed, but not to death. The next thing I knew, Billy was gone.
The next day, which happened to be my fourty seventh birthday, I was lying in a hospital bed next to a tramp. I looked over and it was Billy. He was angry, it turned out my pogo stick had hit him in his face after I had stopped the steamroller.
"Listen u hooligan" He sang sweetly. "One day I'm going to get you, maybe not today, but one day you will feel my pugilistic rage upon your face." He was still singing ever so softly. "I always get my man." That's when i realised I should have let that steamroller run over his beautiful, mesmerising deformity of a face. So I hit him with an axe, the axe-wound seeped red liquid all over me, yet I had to keep going, I wasn't gonna give up on this bitch. He DIED.
That's right. Died. It was funny at the time, but now i regret it. I got sent to prison where I get bummed every day by none other than Jeffrey Archer. The lesson is, if u see someone gonna get hit by a steamroller. Dont help them, even if it is a tramp. Good bye.
Love from DaVie xxx