COMING SOON: Elliott's views on life

Woodsie -

A little bit about the brain behind the forehead.

Name: Elliott 'no middle name' Woods Age: 16      Height: Too short to measure Occupation: Nothing School/6th Form: FCHS Most amazing life achievement: "Well that's a tough qwestion, but im gonna have to say, beating that wanker Pat McCafferty for the World Championship cup in the game of NUTS. God hes a wanker, and soo damn good looking... i mean ugly. yea, so damn ugly." Football Team: He doesnt own any Food: "I once ate a peperami so big, that it was bigger than the eiffel tower. The eiffel tower is only 16 inches tall right?"   "yes" "yea, well this carrot was.... 16.2 inches tall!"   "did u measure it?" "i estimated."   "You know thats probably a world record or sumthing... wait, wot du mean it was 16.2 inches tall?" "it cood stand up on its own. It had legs and arms and everything. It told me to 'fuck off', so i ate him." Tendancy to lie: Very high during winter. Or so he tells me... probably lying.. it being winter and all! Interesting personal fact: He has no middle name. awwww.

If this box is blank then your lame-o computer has not loaded this page properly, u cock! If the picture on the left is not elliott woods then your computer is broken beyond repair, simply send it to: 49 Baconsfield Road, Southgate, London, and i'll have it fixed for you by tomorrow.

I dont have any pictures of elliott at the moment, but i'm sure he woodnt mind the replacement ive found. Not even nearly on the same level of good looking, you might say.... but she'll have to do for now.