Chapter Fifty-Two

The day of the party passed quickly and without incident, all the Mall Rats and those who were living with them at the mall until they each moved on to their respective tribes busy at work in the same dance club the Mall Rats had thrown a party in many months before, long before the Chosen had taken over the city and Amber was restored to the Mall Rats.

Lex had been in charge of rounding up food for the party, which was actually much easier than he had first imagined. It seemed that the tribes were more than willing to donate food to the Mall Rats, the tribe that freed them from the Chosen.

As he was collecting and trading for food, many of the tribal leaders voiced their support to Ebony, saying that they would be voting for her in the upcoming election and would encourage their tribe to do the same. The tribal leaders support encouraged the dark-haired Mall Rat, but he found that even when everything was looking up, his heart was still downcast.

Though no formal announcement or invitation to the city tribes had gone out, by the time the beginning of the party rolled around the nightclub was full of tribes that were friendly with the Mall Rats, the Clarets, Cheetahs, or the Heavens. Lex recognized several members of the Brotherhood as well and remembered their leader, Jenis, had been one of those who was killed in the conflict at the village.

The music was playing loudly and nearly everyone had begun to dance. Lex found himself scanning the crowds, searching out for a face he really didn’t want to admit he was looking for. He spotted Amber over by the drink table, talking with Danni, almost looking like she was scolding the darker-haired woman for drinking something alcoholic while heavy into her pregnancy.

Lex grinned, shaking his had at Amber’s tenacity. Somehow he knew that when it came time for her to be a mother she would not be breaking a single one of the ‘rules’ all pregnant women are supposed to abide by. He slowly began to make his way over to where she stood, intent to ask her for a dance when he felt a tug on his sleeve, causing him to turn.

“Hey handsome.” The beautiful face of his ex-wife smiled up at him. “Can I have this dance?”

“Hey Zandra.” Lex smiled back at her, turning his full attention to her and forcing down the disappointment he felt at not being able to ask Amber for that dance. “How are you doing? How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling good.” Zandra informed him as they stepped into a close dancing embrace, moving about the floor with skill. “A lot better than I have been feeling. My wounds have nearly healed, some of them have already begun to scar.”

“Scar. Ouch. I’m sorry.” Lex winced a little at her words, knowing how much pride Zandra took in her flawless skin.

“I’ve dealt with it.” Zandra told him honestly. “At first, while I was still bedridden, I was really upset about it, but then I realized just how lucky I was to be alive. If it hadn’t of been for Xenia—“

“Xenia, she’s the leader of the Brood, right? She was one of your prisoners.”

“Yeah.” Zandra nodded her head. “She was the only one who didn’t fully trust me when I suddenly switched sides.”

“Wise of her.”

“That’s what I thought too.” Zandra agreed, reminding Lex once again that this beautiful young woman he was dancing with was not the same Zandra he had married so long ago. “I think I managed to convince her when I started to battle Lioness, or Meredith, or whatever he name is.”

“Ebony told me about her.” Lex frowned. He had never encountered the Guardian’s sister that he knew of, but had heard enough horror stories about her cunning and almost demon-like abilities. Somehow, even though the Guardian was defeated, Lex had a feeling if his sister was still out there they had not heard the last of them.

“Yeah.” Zandra’s face darkened. “She’s a very dangerous woman, Lex. It scares me that we were never able to capture her or Jaffa.”

“Jaffa.” Lex frowned. “That was The Guardian’s name, right?” He tried to ignore the strange twinge the thought of the blonde man brought. Before he could stop it, however, his mind was playing images of Tai-San with the Guardian before him.

“Yes. Jaffa.” Zandra’s expression softened and suddenly Lex realized that there was just a little too much familiarity spoken with that name.

“Zandra, you and Jaffa, you two weren’t… Were you?” Lex stared at her incredulously, not wanting to believe it possible that both his wives had fallen for the same psychopath.

“You really don’t want me to answer that question, Lex.” Zandra stated firmly. “Besides, it’s not important not. That is all in the past.”

Lex nodded, thankful that she had at least spared him the knowledge of knowing for sure. Silence fell between them and the song ended and a new one began as they continued dancing, neither of them aware of the transition.

Suddenly, Zandra broke the quiet, looking up at him and staring directly into his eyes. “I’m thinking of leaving the city, Lex.” She paused, placing her hands on his shoulders, “I wanted you to be the first to know.”

“Leaving the city?” He was flabbergast. She had just arrived. “Where would you go?”

“I don’t know yet. But this is no longer my home, Lex. In fact, I don’t think it ever was.” Zandra sighed heavily, leaning her head against his shoulder. “Each day that I spend here I feel more and more restless. I need to leave this place. Find myself. Find who I truly am.”

“You’re Zandra. That’s who you are.” Lex insisted, not liking the idea of her leaving at all.

“Am I though?” Zandra lifted her head and stared at him. “Or am I Alana? Or for that matter am I Amy?”

“Amy?”

“My real name.” She smiled slyly at him. “And you thought you knew everything about me. Amy is my mother’s name so they didn’t want to call me by it. Instead they let me pick my name. At the time my favorite storybook was about a princess named Zandra so I chose Zandra.”

“You didn’t just go with your second name?”

Zandra shook her head. “I’m one of those strange people who doesn’t have one.” She grinned. “But that doesn’t matter. I’ve gone by Zandra since I was two. I suppose if I’m anybody that’s who I am the most.”

Lex nodded, reeling in the new information she had shared with him. When they were newly married they used to play a game every night, sharing with each other a little fact about themselves that they didn’t think the other knew. Somehow Zandra had never mentioned her name was really Amy.

“I don’t want you to go, Zandra.” Lex stated at last. “It’s too dangerous out there. Yes, the Chosen have been defeated, but it’s a large world and I don’t want anything to happen to you. You can’t go alone.”

“Don’t worry about me, Lex. I’m no longer the scared little girl who needed you to protect her from every little mosquito or flying insect.” She giggled. “I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can, but I still don’t like the idea of you just up and leaving. It’s not safe.”

“Life isn’t safe, Lex. Does that stop me from living? I have to do this. Please, I really need you to understand.” She looked up at him, her soft blue eyes searching his intently. “Please?”

Lex stared down at her, unnerved by how she could still affect him when she looked at him with those eyes. They were amazing, so beautiful. They were the first thing that had drawn him to her. “Okay.” He said at last. “I don’t really like the thought of you going, but I won’t stop you.”

“Thank you.” Zandra quickly leaned up on her tiptoes and brushed her lips softly against his. “I knew I could count on you.”

They continued to dance for three more songs, speaking on mostly small things, carefully avoiding anything that would lead to a heavy discussion. Somehow, Lex had the feeling that Zandra did not want to think too seriously tonight, that speaking to him about going away was as much as she wanted to deal with at the moment.

As they were about to start their sixth dance together Lex felt a gentle tap on his shoulder and turned to see the tall Gaian who went by the name Hawk standing there, his expression unreadable.

“Mind if I cut in?” Hawk inquired, smiling down at Zandra.

“Not at all.” Lex stepped aside. “I’ve been hogging the belle of the ball long enough.” He quickly leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss against Zandra’s cheek. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“That would be lovely.” Zandra smiled and gave him a small wave as he disappeared into the dancing couples.

~*~*~

The upbeat music swelled around Trudy as she sat in an uncomfortable high-backed chair in the darkest corner of the dance club, bouncing her daughter on her knee as she watched the dancing couples moving all around her with an ease and grace that Trudy had never managed to master no matter how many long hours she had practiced in the privacy of her bedroom in front of her full length mirror back in the days before the virus.

Trudy wasn’t really sure why she had bothered coming to the party, the celebration of the defeat of the Chosen and a sending off of the Rebels’ Gaian allies. She was an outsider and everyone knew it. If they weren’t avoiding her because of the deplorable things she had done while acting as Supreme Mother they were avoiding her because of her claims that Zoot was alive and working in cahoots with the Chosen.

The thought of Zoot, her once lover, struck a cold fear inside Trudy’s heart and she gathered Brady up close against her, squeezing the struggling toddler tight. “Oh Brady,” She whispered, trying to keep the tremble from her voice. “I wish I were crazy. I wish I had imagined the Guardian’s words, but I know I didn’t. He’s alive, and he’s going to come after us.”

Brady stared at her mother with large confused eyes and did the only thing a young child thinks to do when their mother is upset. Brady gave Trudy a child-like hug and pressed her lips against Trudy’s cheek, giving her a wet kiss. But rather than comfort Trudy, her daughter’s innocent gesture brought tears to the young mother’s eyes.

“I couldn’t stand to loose you again, Brady.” Trudy whispered softly, stroking the child’s cheek. “I don’t think I could survive something like that. From now on, mummy’s never going to let you out of her sight, not even for an instant.”

Brady stared at her curiously, knowing that her mother was speaking to her, but clearly not understanding the impact of her words.

Trudy’s arms tightened around Brady again as she tried to seek some comfort in the fact that her daughter was in her arms that minute, that as long as she was holding Brady, no one – not the Guardian, not Zoot, not even Ebony – could take Brady away from her.

But as comforting as holding Brady that moment was, Trudy knew that there would come a day where her child’s safety would once again be threatened. The Guardian’s words had been clear, so very clear, that Zoot would be returning to the city one day soon, seeking revenge against those who had harmed him and to take back what was his. Brady.

Trudy had tried to convince Amber and Bray that Zoot was alive, but neither had believed her. Of course, she had been hysterical at the moment, half-crazed and going out of her mind from being locked in that cage for so long. Trudy wondered if she would have believed the words if their places had been reversed. She somehow doubted it.

“It’s up to me, Brady.” Trudy voiced her realization softly. “I’m the only one who knows he is alive and I’m the only one who can stop him. And I have to, Brady. I don’t know how, but I have to stop him.”

Trudy sat in silence for several long minutes, mulling over different ideas in her head until she settled on one that seemed foolproof. She would have to bring Brady along, of course, which would slow her down, but even with the young child Trudy figured she would be able to accomplish what needed to be done long before it ever became an issue.

“Excuse me, miss?”

“Hum?” Trudy looked up to find herself staring into a pair of sky blue eyes that seemed to seer into her very soul. “Um, can I help you?”

The tall stranger smiled and took a seat two chairs down from Trudy, turning to face her. “You probably don’t remember me, but we’ve met before. My name is Pride. I was a prisoner here at the mall when, well, when you were one as well. I came with Ellie once to visit you, but you were a bit distracted.”

“Pride?” Trudy furrowed her brow, trying to recall the name. She could remember Ellie coming to see her, slipping her the tools that she would need in order to hopefully free herself from her cage, but she did not recall the handsome young man with her. “I’m sorry, Pride. I don’t really remember you.”

“That’s alright.” Pride shrugged his shoulders, a casual smile spreading across his lips. “I didn’t think you would. That’s why I wanted to come over here and introduce myself. See if you were alright. I couldn’t help but notice you hadn’t really taken part of any of the festivities.”

Trudy nodded, adverting her gaze. “I didn’t feel much like dancing. Besides, I have Brady. She keeps me company.”

“Ah yes.” Pride smiled down at the young child who seemed to take great interest in the silver buckles on his tall black boots. “Your daughter. She’s really adorable. She looks quite a bit like you. She has your eyes. Beautiful.”

“Th-thank you.” Trudy felt her cheeks growing warm, though she couldn’t be sure Pride was complimenting her or Brady. “She has a lot of her father in her too. Though I hope not too much.”

Pride nodded his head, obviously knowing who Brady’s father was. “She’s a real sweet child, though. And with such a wonderful mother I’m sure she’ll turn out just fine.”

“Wonderful mother?” Trudy stared at him in astonishment, her mind reeling. No one had ever called her a wonderful mother. Unfit mother, horrible mother, uncaring mother, insane mother, neglectful mother… Those she had been called, but wonderful, never.

Again Pride nodded his head, his smile widening. “It’s obvious how much you love her. It’s a rare thing in our world today. It seems like most women who have children only view them as a burden, wishing that they hadn’t been so ‘stupid’ to bring such a precious life into this world, but you really seem to cherish your daughter. It’s touching.”

“Brady’s the only thing that’s kept me sane.” Trudy found herself admitting to the dark-haired stranger. “Through everything she’s been my lifeline. Though there was a time where I wished she had never been born. Amber helped me see what a gift she really was, though. Back before, well, back before Amber was Eagle.”

Pride seemed to stiffen at the mention of Amber’s name and Trudy found herself curious to know why. She didn’t press for details however, and quickly changed the subject. “So, Pride, tell me a bit about yourself. Have you always preferred the forest over the city?”

Pride shrugged his shoulders and seemed to relax a bit and they fell into an easy conversation, Trudy’s troubles and worries suddenly seeming far less prevalent.

~*~*~

The punch was bland and tasteless, even worse than water and Danni was really beginning to regret pouring herself a glass of the spiked punch while in view of Amber. Amber had immediately come over, scolded her like she was a little girl taking a cookie out of the cookie jar, took her punch from her and downed it in one gulp, leaving Danni with the tasteless liquid they called non-alcoholic.

The punch aside, everyone seemed to be enjoying the party and Danni’s spirits had lifted during the night. Most everyone was dancing, though Danni had not yet joined in. Amber and Ebony had been out on the floor numerous times, but they frequently came back to check on her and make sure she was alright. Danni was beginning to feel very fussed over, and though it was slightly annoying, it was very nice as well. Especially since the fussing wasn’t coming from Bray.

“You shouldn’t be drinking of that.”

‘Speak of the devil.’ Danni thought irritably towards herself as she turned to face her estranged boyfriend. After he had ordered her out of his sight yesterday they had been very careful not to cross paths. Somehow, Danni had discovered she did not miss him.

“And why is that?” Danni replied in a snide tone.

“It’s spiked.” Bray answered, his voice almost tender and caring, though Danni had begun to suspect Bray could not feel those emotions.

“Not this.” Danni made a face as she drank down the last of her punch. “This is non-alcoholic swill.”

Bray’s expression relaxed a little and he almost smiled. He said nothing as he continued to stand there, watching her carefully while Danni studied him out of the corner of her eye. He had dressed for the occasion, wearing a pair of jet black leather trousers with red leather flames ripped along the sides. He wore the trousers paired with a rather loud ruby red long sleeved button down shirt that Danni would normally think far too bright for any straight man to wear, but somehow Bray pulled it off.

“What is it exactly that you want?” Danni turned to him after several minutes of silence had ticked by.

“Nothing.” He shrugged.

“Are you planning on just standing there and staring at me all night then?” She asked crossly.

“It wouldn’t be the worst thing I’ve done lately.” His lips quirked up in a smile.

“No, it wouldn’t.” Danni rolled her eyes, wishing that he would disappear and leave her to the disgusting punch bowl.

“Look, Danni, about that,” Bray looked down, all trace of amusement gone from his expression, “I’m really sorry. I’ve been a real slime ball lately. I realize that. I really over-reacted over the whole Ravenscroft thing. I shouldn’t have judged you like that. You did nothing wrong. Like you said, you were told I was dead. I couldn’t expect you just to sit around and wait for me forever.”

Danni nodded, accepting his apology. “Alright.” She stated. “Thank you for apologizing. I appreciate it.”

“I, uh, wanted to ask you something, also.” Bray suddenly seemed nervous, far more nervous than the normally confident young man was the majority of the time, even when he was uneasy. “Something really kind of important. Could we go for a walk or something?”

“No.” Danni shook her head, her eyes scanning the crowds. “Whatever it is that you need to ask me, you can ask me right here. We’re amongst family.” She rolled her eyes, not really wanting to go anywhere in private with Bray.

“Well,” Bray hesitated, looking around, still uncomfortable. “I guess I could, though it’s not exactly how I always imagined it. But here goes…”

Suddenly Bray dropped down onto one knee in front of her and the punch table, a sincere expression on his handsome face. “Danni, I love you and I love the baby that you are carrying inside of you. I know that I’ve done some real jerky things lately and that there is absolutely on reason I deserve a girl like you, but I need you and I think you need me too.

“I want to commit myself to you, Danni. Prove to you beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are the only one for me. I want to be there for you through everything, no matter.” He paused dramatically and Danni felt her heart stop. “Will you marry me?”

She stared down at him, for the first time in her life completely speechless. She had not been expecting a proposal whatsoever. In fact, she had highly doubted they would be getting back together after their latest argument, but here he was, down on one knee, in front of the punch bowl in a crowded nightclub promising to be there for her, protect her, and her child.

‘Provide security.’ Her mind screamed at her. She needed security. She needed to know she would always be safe, protected from harm. Not only for herself, but for the child growing inside her. Especially if the child tuned out to be from the seed of the Guardian.

Danni closed her eyes, imaging that it was not Bray on one knee in front of her, but rather the tall lanky, yet so beautifully built Ravenscroft, his bleached blonde hair with black tips and eyes so gray and soft they reminded her of the Atlantic Ocean on a calm day.

“Yes.” She found herself whispering, her heart lurching painfully inside her at the same moment the baby inside her kicked. “I will marry you, Bray.”

~*~*~

“You guys did a really great job with the decorations.” Hawk complimented Zandra as they began to move and sway in time with the music that flooded the room around them. KC was playing a slower song, not so slow that it was necessary for Hawk and Zandra to dance pressed together, but they were close enough that conversation could pass easily between them.

“Thanks.” Zandra smiled up at him, trying to ignore the strange tingling sensation that was racing through her whenever Hawk’s hand brushed against bare skin. “We didn’t have much, but you’d be surprised what a few old soup cans and some candles can do.”

“Soup cans?” Hawk stared at her in amazement. “Those are soup cans?”

Zandra nodded. “It was Alice’s idea, actually. It took awhile to drill the holes through the cans, but it was well worth it. It creates a nice cozy atmosphere, don’t you think?”

“Cozy, yeah. That’s the word.” A dazzling smile spread across his perfectly formed lips as he guided her towards the center of the floor. He hesitated for a long minute, staring deeply into her eyes before he spoke again. “Zandra, I was meaning to talk to you about something.”

“Alright.” Zandra felt her heart flip-flop inside her. “There was something I wanted to talk to you about too.”

“Really? What is it?”

“No,” She shook her head, causing a few of her curly tendrils that she had allowed to flow free from her swept up style bob wildly. “You first.”

“Okay.” He suddenly looked away from her as he swallowed hard, “You know how I told you yesterday that I was, well, that I was going to be leaving with the Gaians, right?”

“Uh huh.” She stared at him puzzled.

“I changed my mind. I want to stay here for a little while longer. It’s been awhile since I’ve lived in the city and I think that if I went back to the woods I would actually really miss it.” He added hurriedly.

“Oh really?” Zandra felt her heart sink inside her. She had finally made up her mind that afternoon that she would be leaving the mall, going out into the world to find herself. She had hoped that she could tag along with the Gaians for awhile, see if she could rediscover that serenity she had felt in the village weeks ago, but with Hawk remaining at the mall…

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I realized that the city is where I was born and its where I should remain. You know? There’s a lot that needs to be done here and—“

“But there’s a lot that needs to be done back at the village, too.” Zandra tried to persuade him kindly. “The Gaians could really use a strong individual like you, especially with Amber remaining in the city.”

“There’s just as much use for me here in the city, Zandra.” Hawk stated firmly. “I’ve made up my mind. I’m not going to leave yo—the city.”

“Are you sure?” Zandra let out a silent prayer as she breathed out the words that she was somehow dreaming that Hawk had decided to stay in the city just when she had decided to leave. Now that she had made up her mind and her heart she knew there was no way she could continue living in the concrete jungle the others seemed to love so much.

“Yeah.” He whispered, staring deeply into her eyes, causing her heart to flutter wildly, “I’m sure.”

“Oh.” Zandra tried to mask her disappointment, but she knew it came across in her tone.

“Zandra? What’s wrong?” He studied her face curiously. “Is something the matter? I, uh, well, I had hoped you would be happy I was staying in the city. Staying with, with you.”

Zandra felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes and she pressed herself tightly into his arms. “Oh Hawk.” She moaned softly. “That’s just it. I’m leaving.”

“You’re what?!” Hawk exclaimed, holding her at arm’s distance. “But you can’t leave, Zandra. I thought the city was your home, where you belonged…”

She shook her head frantically. “No, Hawk.” She murmured, the tears now unleashed as they spilled over her cheeks, smearing her makeup but she no longer cared. “This place, it was never my home. I never belonged here. I’m leaving, Hawk. Probably tomorrow morning when the rest of the Gaians leave. I was hoping to, well, to go with them for a time, see if maybe I could find some peace with myself.”

Hawk stared down at her, a look of pure disbelief on his handsome features. “You’re kidding me, Zandra. You want to go to the village?”

She nodded slowly. “I talked to Great White earlier today. Not saying that I wanted to come directly, because I hadn’t made up my mind yet, but I was testing the waters, you know? She seemed to understand and told me that the Gaian tribe would always be open to whoever…”

“But you can’t go, Zandra.” Hawk’s eyes were clouded with emotion and Zandra felt something inside of her begin to crumble. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I’ve made up my mind, Hawk. Just like you have. The city is your home now, and, and well, and the woods are mine.” Zandra whispered, barely able to choke out the final words. “I guess this is going to be goodbye.”

“No.” The cry slipped through his lips with heart-wrenching agony. “No, Zandra. I can’t. The thing is, I don’t want to be anywhere where you’re not. If you’re in the city, I want to be in the city. If you’re at the Gaian village, I want to be at the Gaian village. Wherever you go, that’s where I want to be.”

“What?” She stared at him, her heart not daring to hope that she actually heard the words that came out of his mouth. “What are you saying, Hawk?”

“I’m saying I’ve fallen in love with you, Zandra.” He pulled her tightly against him, crushing her in his arms, but Zandra did not mind the pleasant pain. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I couldn’t bare to live without you. So Zandra, if you go to the woods, I’m coming too.”

“Oh Hawk.” Zandra moved away slightly so she could stare up into his face. His every emotion was suddenly revealed to her and she could read the love written so plainly in his eyes. “I love you too.”

Hawk did not hesitated one moment. Suddenly, Zandra felt herself being lifted in the air, her face brought level with his as he tenderly pressed his lips against her own, relentless in their passion and yet gentle and loving, careful not to bruise her.

“Oh Zandra.” He moaned, his breath warm against her cheek. “I love you so much. You don’t know how long I’ve dreamed of this moment.”

“Well,” She grinned wickedly, “It can’t have been for very long. You’ve only just met me a few weeks ago, you know.”

“I know, and yet…” He trailed off, their eyes locking. “I feel as if I’ve known you forever. I love you Zandra, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

A shy smile spread across Zandra’s lips as she recalled how many other men had sworn those words to her. First Lex, and then Jaffa… But somehow, she knew that this time, this man actually meant them.

“And I with you, Hawk.” She whispered, melting back into his embrace. “And I with you.”