A SMILE PAGE BY TARIQ
Bring here, right here.......... the horse who drinks MILK.
Bring here...... the horse who eats CHOCOLATES.
Bring here......the horse who eats MARMALADE......."
Some of the CODE NAMES given by BENAZIR's personal Telephone Tapping Intelligence Agency to the 'targetted' individuals:
Justice Sajjad Ali Shah: BM-1
Justice Salim Akhtar: BM-3
Justice Ajmal Mian: BM-13
Mian Nawaz Sharif: GUEST
Mushahid Hussain: Smooth Operator
Maulana Fazlur Rehman: WOLF
Wasim Sajjad: Wiseman
Information Adviser of the President, Khwaja Ejaz Sarwar: MOVIE-1
Uncle Ghulam Mustafa Jatoi: JT-1 & JT-2 (a double honour)
Senator Nasreen Jaleel ofMQM: SEA WEEDS
Ms. Saba of MQM: HOT BED
Mir Afzal Khan: EVENING STAR
Raja Nadir Parvez: PANTHER
Nawaz Sharif's THREE MUREE 'Hidouts':
1. SIRRI PAYA
2. ROGHNI NAN
3. BADAMI SHERBAT
A Solicitor wrote underneath:"I plead for all".
A Doctor added: "I prescribe for all".
And, a simple VOTER like me wrote: "I pay for all".
"The Supreme Court upheld the dissolution order of Farooq Legharito dismiss the Benazir government."
For the 4th time a Prime Minister from Sindh has not been restored.
NAWAZ SHARIF's VERSION:
Among the last 5 Prime Ministers only ONE was not corrupt.
You know what is going to happen in February next...? 90-Days Care Taker Government will be followed by a 90-Days Elected Government.
NAWAZ SHARIF is getting very serious now about picking a presidential candidate for the next term. He says he wants someone who's young and charismatic and comfortable with the PPP's agenda. His first choice is ASIF ZARDARI.
Sindh Government announced having given relief to the MQM (Altaf) on the eve of elections….….. and in this process it released dozens of MQM (Haqiqi) and PPP workers from various prisons.
New slogans for the QAZI's DHARNA campaign:
You can't spell IHTISAB without H-I-S-A-B.
"ZAALMO QAZI GA RAHA HEY"
It's like respecting for your great-great-grandpa.
Out with the QAZI, and in with BAZI.
He's a one-man Government Demolishing Machine!
'What He Actually Wanted to Say on Dec 25'
SUMMARY OF FAROOQ LEGHARI's 80MINUTE BI-LINGUAL TV SPEECH
2. Aged MERAJ KHALID is unable to speak for 80 minutes...non-stop.
3.I had been a Minister for Finance in a previous government.
4.Eating up 'National Exchequer' through FOOD STAMPS is better than minting money through Zakat Fund.
5.My Aitchison accent is as good as BENAZIR's Oxford accent.
'Lesser evil' NAWAZ SHARIF has struck a deal with LEGHARI to allow him remain in his house for another term. But....beware LEGHARI!....First ask QAZI how NAWAZ keeps his promises.
The President (FAROOQ LEGHARI) has gathered together a team of batchmates and friends, many of whom are more loyal to him and to themselves than to the country. It is said that LEGHARI's first priority is to secure another term in office, and that he is working towards this. Nothing extraordinary in that. GIK (Ghulam Ishaq Khan) too suffered from the same malaise . Men like General Cincinnatus and General de Gaulle do not come by the dozen.
MERAJ KHALID , is a well-meaning man. He grew up in the Kasur district , near the Indian border, where of economic necessity , every second man is a smuggler. In the past he has helped friends in need, an admirable quality. If some he defended were smugglers, so be it.
9. Right after taking the podium, declare full-scale PML (N) war against Jamaat Islami and its 'agent' Farooq Leghari.
8. Promise to give more grant to the 'agencies' to conduct more operation clean-ups.
7. Offer ASIF ZARDARI governorship of the PUNJAB province.
6. Switch his speech notes with Aitezaz Ahsan.
5. Ask Tahira Sayyed to re-marry Naeem Bukhari.
4. Divert media attention by attempting to jump from 60 feet high stage.
3. Announce Hasan Nawaz Sharif to be his Crown Prince .
2. Announce another Yellow-Cab 'scam'.
1. Somehow get GHQ involved.
Top 10 ways MAULANA NOORANI (JUP) is Preparing For The Elections.
9. Agonizing over whether he'll support Musarrat Shaheen in D.I.Khan Constituency.
8. Doing one-arm pushups with QAZI HUSSAIN AHMED.
7. Same routine every day: wake up, chew a dozen betal leaves (paan), watch a little tube, spend a few hours at the dressing table.
6. Postponing his all Holland and Germany trips till Feb 3 night.
5. Gluing a recently passed kidney stone onto a white-gold ring in his left hand finger.
4. Searching for his photographs in the morning newspapers and being sad.
3. Searching for his photographs in the eveningers and being happy.
2. Telephoning Shah Farid-ul-Haq to help him wear the 20 kg black gown .
1. Singing new JUP Election Slogans in low pitch 6000 watts PMPO voice .
Hamid Nasir Chattha has four names on his list short list for the governorship of the four provinces . He hasn't released the names. He is keeping them secret. You know, probably so they won't flee the country.
Some sad news. The oldest woman in the world passed away last week. That's right, Mary Thompson, 120 years old, passed away. You know, I'm a little tired tonight, so why don't you kids go ahead and make up your own Fazlur Rehman/Mussarat Shaheen joke?
I'm sure you know the Jamaat is getting away from the PML(N). So don't forget -- turn your clocks back 400 years.
When Nawaz Sharif offered the job to Mushahid Hussain, he told Mushahid, "You've been on my radar screen for 1000 days; you just didn't know it." What Mushahid also didn't know is that the other candidate, Akram Sheikh, had radar detectors and got the hell out of there.
The big suspense so far down there in Islamabad -- on the election day….will President Leghari wear a navy blue suit or a dark gray sherwani?
The Jmaat is very proud of its public meetings because it's smoke-free. They're very proud of that -- it's a smoke-free convention. It's also minority-free and PML-free.
According to the latest estimates, I believe PML(N) leads PPP. Nawaz Sharif is so confident of victory in February that he's already lining up dates for the week-long kulcha-qawwali programmes.
The caretakers arrested 1 1,111 criminals belonging to the previous ruling party before the elections. ... Ninety percent of the them described themselves as innocents. And the other 10 percent described themselves as extremely innocents.
MY Top 10 Ways To Get Yourself Kicked Out Of PPP Public Meeting at Nishtar Park.
9. Shout, "The Karachiites cast all their votes for MQM!"
8. Use the first 2 minutes of your speech to call out ONE…TWO…THREE, the Altaf Hussain way.
7. Every time you see a Zardari poster, say, "I thought he was dead!"
6. Limit speakers to five minutes per speech and two slogans per minute.
5. Introduce Benaziras "Fateh-e-Karachi."
4. Yell, "Clear a path to the buffet table! Nasir Chathha's coming through!"
3. Surprise Nasirullah Babar with playful yet powerful head butt.
2. Announce over P.A. system, "N.D.Khan, please meet your second wife at Gate Number Three."
1. Shout a Shaheed Bhutto Group slogan in Sultan Rahi style.
According to a recent poll regarding politics in the Pakistan, only 8 percent of Pakistani men would trade places with Asif Zardari. That's interesting, isn't it? Only 8 percent. However, that number soars dramatically -- to 60 percent -- when the guys in the survey were told they wouldn't necessarily have to be married to Benazir Bhutto.
An art exhibit in Liyari -- true story -- features a huge statue of Benazir Bhutto. There was actually an odd moment, when a group of PPPsupporters gathered around the statue and started chanting, "Ten more kilos, Ten more kilos..."
Proposed IMRAN KHAN's bumper stickers
ASK ME ABOUT MY GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT GRANDCHILDREN
DONT ASK ME ABOUT JAMIMA'S FATHER
HOW'S MY PULSE AND BREATHING? CALL 111-222-119
VOTE FOR NAWAZ OR BENAZIR
We were just watching the gymnastics. Very, very exciting. Here's a little test about gymnastics, test your knowledge. You know what you call it when a gymnast completely reverses himself and lands on his feet? You know what that's called? That is called a Farooq Leghari. (Rasheed/Lahore)
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