P.D.Q. Bach (1807-1742)?

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This document is BWV 291.

P.D.Q. Bach was the umpteenth son of Johann Sebastian Bach. The most obstinate son-of-a-Bach, P.D.Q.'s career is divided into the Initial Plunge, the Soused Period, and  Contrition. After testing organs and selling soap powder in the American colonies, he returned to Germany and found a position within the Church. A performance of the Missa Hilarious (featuring the comparable Angus Dei) led to his excommunication, after which P.D.Q. joined the court of Prince Fred at the castle of Wein-am-Rhein. Prince Fred, known for his "good beer and bad ear," was the only member of nobility to comission works during the composer's lifetime (after which it was too late). His circle of friends included Jonathan "Boozey" Hawkes and Tom Collins.

Ever since coming across the manuscript for the Sanka Cantata in a coffee machine, musicalologist Peter Schickele has dedicated his life to recovering the works of the Minimeister of Wein-am-Rhein. Manuscripts have been discovered in mine shafts, safes, bulletproof vests and other likely places.

P.D.Q. Bach composed for every instrument imaginable (and for quite a few unimaginable ones) as well as for voice, but only one work, the Bluegrass Cantata, survives in his native language. P.D.Q.'s music always seemed ahead of its time. On the occasion of the 100th anniversary of his father's birth, P.D.Q. Bach presented a commemorative cantata containing the earliest known example of polymeter, a device employed, albeit on purpose, by 20th century composers. He also anticipated the bluegrass, country-western, and hip-hop genres.

P.D.Q. Bach's compositions were published posthumously by Theodore Presser, and recorded on the otherwise reputable Vanguard and Telarc labels.

Here are all the known P.D.Q. Bach works by Schickele number. As proof of the importance of repetition in music, some Schickele numbers are repeated more than once, which demonstrates the importance of repetition in music.
-2 Gross Concerto
0 Schleptet
.001 Three Teeny Preludes
1/5 Royal Firewater Musick (Original version and Dudeldorf Version)
Onesy Twosy March of the Cute Little Wood Sprites
1 Variations on an Unusually Simple-Minded Theme
1A Minuet Militaire
1a Suite No. 1 for Cello All By Its Lonesome
1b Suite No. 2 for Cello All By Its Lonesome
1+1 The Only Piece Ever Written for Violin and Tuba
1+1 Sonata Innamorata
1.19/lb Art of the Ground Round (for 3 Baritones and Discontinuo)
1 1/2 tsp. Oratorio "The Seasonings"
2/4 Liebeslieder Polkas To His Coy Mistress, To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time, The Passionate Shepherd to His Love, Why So Pale and Wan Fond Lover?, It Was a Lover and His Lass, The Constant Lover, Song to Celia, Interlude, Farewell Ungrateful Traitor, Who is Sylvia?
III Three Chorale-Based Piecelets
3 Ring Sonata da Circo (Circus Sonata) for organ or whatever
3(4) Trio (Sic) Sonata
3.1415926, easy as The Short-Tempered Clavier, Preludes and Fugues in all the major and minor keys except for the really hard ones
4 Four Folk Song Upsettings Little Bunny Hop Hop Hop, Oft of An E'en Ere Night is Nigh, He Came From Over Yonder Ridge, 
The Farmer on the Dole
4/1 "Knock, Knock" (Choral Cantata)
4F The Civilian Barber Only the "Perückenstück" (Hair Piece), and some incidental music have been recovered.
5-string Blaues Gras (Bluegrass Cantata)
6 Canzon per Sonar a Sei - Count Them - Sei
6 of 1, half a dozen of the other The "Trite" Quintet
6 7/8 "Howdy" Symphony
7 The Magic Bassoon (Tragicommodity in One Act)
8' Concerto for Bassoon vs. Orchestra
8va Sonata Piccola
8:30 Breakfast Antiphonies
K9 Canine Cantata, Wachet Arf!
12 to 1 Shepherd on the Rocks, with a Twist
13 Traumerei for Unaccompanied Piano
13 A Little Nightmare Music (Opera in One Irrevocable Act)
13 going on 14 Notebook for Betty-Sue Bach
14 Goldbrick Variations
16 Dutch Suite in G Major
16 Twelve Quite Heavenly Songs (Arie Proprio Zodicale)
16 going on 30 Canzonetta "La Hooplina" (The Girl from Hoople)
under 18 Capriccio "La Pucelle de New Orleans" (The Maid from New Orleans)
18 Octoot
27 Concerto for Horn and Hardart
32' Lip my Reeds (Prelude and Fugue for Four Bassoons)
R33- L45- R (pass it once) 78 "Safe" Sextet
36-24-36 Serenude
36EE Erotica Variations
39 Fanfare for Fred
39 Six Contrary Dances
50% off. The Musical Sacrifice Fuga Meshuga, Sort of Little Trio Sonata, Three Canons, Choral Prelude "Da kommit ja der Schurke", Four More Canons, The Grossest Fugue 
52, 162 Iphigenia In Brooklyn
57 Little Pickle Book (Pöckelbüchlein) for Organ, at least. Tocatta et Fuga Obnoxia, Chorale Prelude: Ave Maria et Agnus Dei, Fantasia sopra "Fräulein Maria Mack", Lullaby and Good Night
66 Pervertimento
86 No-No Nonette
86 Proof The Stoned Guest, A Half-Act Opera for Off-Coloratura, Mezzanine Soprano, Bargain-Counter Tenor, Basso Blotto, and Houndentenor (Dog)
88 Concerto for Piano vs. Orchestra
96th St. Classical Rap
96.8 Sinfonia Concertante
98.7 Fanfare for the Common Cold
99 44/100 Diverse Ayres on Sundrie Notions
100 Birthday Ode to "Big Daddy" Bach
LZ129 Hindenburg Concerto
150 Oedipus Tex (Dramatic Oratorio)
212o Toot Suite for Calliope Four Hands
359 A Consort of Choral Christmas Carols 
Throw the Yule Log on Uncle John, O Little Town of Hackensack, Good King Kong Looked Out
365 "Should" A Choral Prelude for the New Year
365 Four Curmudgeonly Canons (The Seasons of a Malcontent)
384, 492 The Abduction of Figaro, Simply Grand Opera in Three Acts
440 Sonata for Viola Four Hands
888 Sonata Abassoonata
988 The Preachers of Crimetheus, Ballet in One Selfless Act
1000 Grand Serenade for an Awful lot of Winds and Percussion
1001 Fantasieshtick for Piano and Orchestra
1227 Overture to "La Clemenza di Genghis Khan"
1601 Two Madrigals from "The Triumphs of Thusnelda" My Queen to Me a Royal Pain Doth Give, My Bonnie Lass She Smelleth
1636 Chorale Prelude: "Ah" (#1), A Veritable Paean of Praise (#2)
1712 1712 Overture for really big orchestra
999999 Echo Sonata for Two Unfriendly Groups of Instruments
2n-1 Hansel and Gretel and Ted and Alice
e = mt2 Einstein on the Fritz, Opera Only the Prelude has been recovered.
N20 Missa Hilarious
The following numbers are unnumbered:

Here are some works which Schickele actually admitted to having composed: Here are some P.D.Q. Bach works which have not yet been discovered, but ought to be: Das ist ein grosses zehn-vier, guter Kamerrad.


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© 1997 David Brantley - Updated 16-Oct-1997