| The Move to Liverpool... |
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| Our eldest had left college by now and was doing allsorts. Due to the move she couldn't follow her chosen pattern of career, so it was all change. Unbeknown to me, her nerves still weren't very good, and she was just putting on a good show when going for job interviews and so on. Next one down was ok as usual, and having had a year out and completing an NVQ in retail at John Lewis, now began her A levels. Did the usual teen things still, like terrifying her parents with what she was going out wearing, gettingcompletely plastered on double shorts, etc. And just where did she get the guts to keep chatting up fellers who were gullible enough to keep buying them for her? Soon she moved out and went to live with 2 other girls in a house. Whilst there she learnt a lot, like it costs a lot more to live away from home, and she came back. Passed her A levels (she's one of those people who makes you sick, lives life to the full, and still passes). Actually, she works as hard as she plays, so really she deserves her successes. |
| And so to our youngest. She never did settle in her new school. She was bullied from the start. She got so bad that I wondered if she'd got schizophrenia, she was talking to doors, car windows, shop windows and rocking all the time. I got so worried I didn't know what to do. The pressure was unbearable as I was watching her going into school, coming home and everything. She was so depressed. I kept her at home as much as possible. I didn't know we could legally home educate. I felt torured by the situation. My whole waking and sleeping was taken up with worrying about her. When I sit and think of what she went through, what she looked like going into that school, and what she looked like coming home, I just crumble and cry even now. I felt so helpless to protect her. I just used to say over and over again to her, "I'm so sorry, it's the law that you go to school". I thought it was! |
| On the women's world day of prayer, my first I'd attended as a Minister's wife, I came home to find her hysterical with no-one else knowing what to do for her. They all looked so frightened. She tried to kill herself that night. I spent the whole night in hospital with her. |
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| What followed was also as scary to us and as upsetting as anything else. I was asked if my husband would ever abuse our daughter, I told them that I'd been down this route before with a previous husband. I told them in no uncertain terms that he wouldn't do such a thing, and that they could ask any of the children, they'd all tell them 'no way'. They then asked if my Dad had done it as the children had been on holiday with my parents while we moved and got the house ready for them. My Dad is a special man too! No, he certainly would not have done. They said her actions were those of an abused child. While I understand they have to check these things, it was a horrid and upsetting time. |
| Our daughter had a home tutor for 2 hrs per week, for 2 months, and then it was the summer holidays. She wanted to try to start seconday school in September. And she did, it was hell for 6 months. She was so ill for such a lot of time that she was off school for a great deal of the term. It was a vicious circle of stress, time off ill, then stress about facing school again, catching up on missed school work, exhaustion stress, ill, more time off school. We had help from the mental health team at Alder Hey Hospital, they (apart from the social worker who interviewed us at the beginning) were really helpful and a great reassurance. All the social worker did was raise her voice towards our daughter, (we'd promised her no one would shout, as they were there to help) and tell her that she should realise that we could go to prison if she didn't attend school!!! How helpful is that? Especially as we now know that is not altogether true if a child is de-registered from school. |
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| But WHY DON'T PEOPLE TELL US PARENT'S WE CAN DO THAT !!! Our son was getting into more and more trouble at school. (Now 14-15) He was in a church school, (sorry, thought this meant Christian based, and that this included the teachers attitudes and encouragement policies....silly me). He wasn't given any support worth havng. |
| Any special needs support a school has to offer is only as good as the special needs teachers themselves. In this case, it was absolute rubbish. Letters after a name mean nothing. If a teacher cannot inspire, encourage, and motivate a child, then what's the use of the teacher, or of the fancy letters after their name, they mean nothing! He was bullied by several of the teachers, which was helpful wasn't it? He was also in with a bad peer group that were getting worse by the week. They ende up drinking brandy, whisky, and taking drugs in the wood behind school everyday. These peers would call for our son showing him guns and asking him to join them. I'ts funny how life works out. Part of his dyslexia is directional confusion (can't learn left and right). He takes ages to learn his way around, and his long term/short term memory difficulties cause him problems identifying where he is etc. so he, not wanting to confess this to his peers as he knew they would dump him somewhere and he'd be lost, just kept making up excuses about why he couldn't go with them. It has turned out to be saving grace. |
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