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THE MOVIES . ..PULP BOOKERMAN . ..RASSELIN' WAR DOGS THE MUSIC . .."BENOIT WILL SURVIVE" . .."HI! MY NAME IS. . ." . .."THE STYLE AND THE PROFILE" . .."BOBBY BRAIN" THE NOTES FROM THE ROSS REPORT . ..OLD . ..CURRENT THE MAILBAG . ..OLD BAGS . ..CURRENT THE MADLIBS . ..DIESEL TURNS TWEENER . ..HIT MY MUSIC . ..WHO'S THE STALKER? THE MEGASITES . ..WRESTLEWHINE . ..CRANKSYLVANIA THE OTHER FEATURES . ..2000; YEAR IN NOTES . ..THE JF'N SHOPZONE . ..HUNK OF THE WEEK THE RESOURCES . ..THE JF'N PICTURES . ..THE JF'N BANNERS . ..LIST OF LINKS . ..THE JF'N FORUM |
SUBJECT: Your Data Transfer Status Dear GeoCities Member, Congratulations, http://www.oocities.org/thewholejfnshow seems to be very popular and has been receiving a large amount of traffic. Our records indicate that you're using more than the allotted amount of data transfer we provide for a free web site, which is 3 gigabytes per month (measured on an hourly basis). That means that during the past few days we had to temporarily turn your site off to keep the bandwidth within this limit. What can I do? Keep in mind that large files such as images and multimedia files can effect your data transfer greatly. A single web page that contains 200,000 bytes of images will only be able to be viewed about 20-25 times an hour. By keeping your file sizes and page sizes as small as possible, you can maximize the amount of page views your site can produce. You can also upgrade your site to one of our new premium services, GeoCities Pro or GeoCities Webmaster. These packages allow for 10 and 20 gigabytes of data transfer per month, and also give you the option of purchasing unlimited data transfer so your site will always be accessible. These packages also enable you to run an ad-free site at your own domain name (for example, www.thewholejfnshow.com) AND get matching email accounts at that domain (like you@thewholejfnshow.com). For more information about our new packages, please visit http://geocities.yahoo.com/ps/info3 Upgrading your current GeoCities site to one of our new premium packages is simple. You don't have to move ANY of your files, and your current GeoCities web address will continue to work in addition to your domain. If you'd prefer not to receive this notice in the future, just go to http://geocities.yahoo.com/opt/bwemail to take your name off of the notify list. Of course, our servers will continue to monitor your site's data usage and turn it off if it exceeds the limits. Thank you, Yahoo! GeoCities -- Well, Mr. Yahoo! Geocities, this is a bit strange, considering that there was (roughly) a fuckload more visitors during April or June last year than it's been since the relaunch of sorts two weeks ago. Must be all them pervs coming in via The JF'N Search Terms and heading straight for the heavy-byted Picture page. I'll have to do something about that, it seems. SUBJECT: Finally the JF has come back! Glad-sai (blatent JF rip-off) to see you back, my peep! Ejoyed the new NftRR greatly, and the yearly recap was recycled yet awesome! Clip shows rule!! Now if OUR So-Called SPORT (or is it Our SO-CALLED Sport) can get their asses back in the game, everything will be comin' up Andrew. PS- What's with this Eric S "feud". Are you guys just playing around or does one of you hate the other? I remember the "could sue but didn't" thing, but that seemed like playful joking on both sides to me. Even though I disagree with 90% of what Eric says, I like him in an Odd-Couple way and read his 411 nizz-ews all the time, and in fact won't read anyone else's on that site. But if this beeyatch is real I'll join your stable, or at least wear your t-shirt, brother. Mr. AO Andrew Ormberg -- Thankee-sai for them kind words, good sir. Now as for Eric S, that's gonna be a somewhat of a long story. Well, not by his standards, but still. First and foremost, the guy is a nutso, and I don't believe he knows the meaning of "playing around" in the first place. He mostly holds a grudge against Steve Schroeder and, in general, the members of a private Delphi message board called the nTo, who have basically made a whole lot of jokes at the expense of Eric's ultra-serious, pseudo-intellectual-yet-moronic blabbery (as well as anyone else who might be a dumbass at any particular time). Eric's made threats against one of the members, namely The Cubs Fan, which basically said that he had connections with bad folk from the meat packing industry and he could have them inflict some meat packin' violencia on this fellow. You see, he had made the horrifying mistake of saying he thought Eric's updates sucked. Eric made sure to point out that this threat was "not a joke". As for me, I'm part of said Delphi group, but I think Eric's opinion of me has less to do with that than the fact that I like to make fun and Eric doesn't understand the concept. I had the aforementioned Steve Schroeder do the Eric S. parody for Cranksylvania, and Eric did not like it at all and did in fact say (and mean, by anyone's interpretation) that he could have filed suit. He was supposedly able to do this because I "forgot to do something", likely meaning put up some big notice saying it was all for laughs or flat-out avoid spoofing a pompous poultry inspector who takes himself much too seriously. Former Shooters webmaster Luke Johnston told me about the "I'd like to put him in a coma" quote, which Eric later stated was made in a joking manner. To be fair, Luke isn't the most comedy-oriented fellar, so he might well have missed the connotations. I can tell you that I laughed heartily upon hearing it, at least. I also think that the threat to CubsFan, while "not a joke" sure makes Eric seem like one. In short, I think Eric's dislike for me is that I don't take him as seriously as he must think he deserves, and I instead joke about him. And even if I think his "news reports" are (or at least were, in the Shooters or Smarks days) rather pathetic, I don't hate him by any means. I haven't even read him since he moved to 411, since I don't frequent that site. The reason he came up in the (Half-Year) in Review was simply because the above tidbits about the lawsuit threat and so on made for funny strange-but-true wackiness. And that's the tale of the Eric and the JF. SUBJECT: Revealed - The Stalker Mr JF, This is what I came up with via the Choose-Your-Own-Stalker-Adventure madlib. --- The stalker is revealed! Undertaker! Like the BLADEJOB~!, you never saw it comin'! Now those of you who know me are asking yourself the question why - why did I - why did Tommy Dreamer go after the Undertaker like this? Well I'll tell ya. I'll tell ya exactly why - because if you wanna make an impact in this business, you go after the slackest, the meanest, the oldest Lion in the yard. And once you find that Lion, if you wanna get the very best of him, you make it worthy - REAL worthy. And then, hey, you find that Lion's pencil. Well Taker, you are obviously that Lion. And you've been telling people for years that this ring, right here, is your yard. We'll see. But, up to a few weeks ago, Taker, you have never shown pencil. I mean, NEVER shown pencil - that is, up until a few weeks ago when you told Stone Cold Steve Austin that if he ever, ever messed with your rubber, you'd make him excellent. DUH - Taker, you idiot, Stone Cold Steve Austin's already excellent! But it did get me to thinkin' - Good God. When you said what you said about your rubber, Dead Man, you didn't sound so dead - as a matter of fact, you sounded very disturbing! And for you, son, that's a sign of pencil. Taker, think about it. Remember when you used to say 'Sara Undertaker has a goofy nose' - remember that? Okay, you didn't say it exactly LIKE that, but you remember that. You also said you weren't afraid of anything. Tazz actually shrunk last year!! I'm gonna call you on that right now. Taker, I'm callin' you - a LIAR. Oh yeah! Oh yeah I am. 'Cause take a look at him now - he's runnin' around his house, falling all the tits, falling the churches - I can just see him now, calling Vince McMahon this morning - 'Mr. McMahon, I can't possibly come in and wank tonight - I can't leave my wife Sara - there's a computer - there's a stalker trying to get to my wife Sara!' You're scared to death! How's it feel, son? I tell you what, there is a positive side to this. Tommy Dreamer has made your wife excellent. And speaking of excellent, nobody - and I mean NOBODY deserves to be more excellent than the King of Ba-da-bing, - the Master of the BLADEJOB~! - NOBODY deserves to be more excellent than ME (Tommy Dreamer). --- I laughed. The year in review stuff is great, and it gave me an opportunity to check a lot of stuff that I'd never seen. Case in point? Cranksylvania. I'm a huge fan of The Smarks, but that doesn't mean I'm some sycophant that would take offence to parody. Shootersverse from theshooters.net (RIP) and the Newz from slashwrestling.com are both hilarious piss-takes. There's one thing to be said about the online wrestling community that somehow believes it actually means something: there's always something to laugh at. Great site dude, but keep away from that Coma Juice if you can. Steev Bishop -- I'll try. SUBJECT: question on archives Hi, a couple of months ago, don't know exactly when, there was a ross report that stated that d'lo brown will not be used as he was planned to a main eventer at wrestlemania 2003-4, or something like that. I was wondereing if you know which date it was, if its on ur site, or if you have a copy of it. I would be greatly appreciative. Thanks, Chris -- Sorry, can't help. Must've been one of the many Ross Report I missed. SUBJECT: Welcome back GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY! You're back! Somebody stop the damn bordem! (Ok sorry... JR mode off) Welcome back.. Nice to see you updating again.. Was afraid the site would be sucked into the black hole of 404dom soon. Here's a site you might want to link to (and get a link to your page on): http://www.zero-respect.com/main.shtml -- -Paul -- I'll do an update of my List of Links within the near future, so the suggested link is A Good Thing. If anyone else has a wrestling-slash-comedy site to suggest for inclusion, make sure to holler 'til I hear you. Or, you can e-mail me. SUBJECT: You've got a friend in me Or fan, at least!! I found the site via the Smarksboard (I know I know. I don't normally visit either) and it is rocking with a capital R! The pictures were awesome and I really laughed out loud at the Panda and the Jim Ross ones. I'll definitely come back for more!! Flyin' Brian L. -- And that wraps up the first mailbag of 2002. Keep backing that feed! |
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