Name: Marcus Alexander "Buff" "Is The Stuff" Bagwell.

Height: 6'1"

Weight: 240 lbs.

Home: Mom's house, Georgia.

Career retrospective: After playing a pretty-faced good guy for many, many years and winning tag titles along with 2 Cold Scorpio, the Patriot, and Scotty Riggs, Marcus Alexander Bagwell turned heel, joined the nWo, and became "Buff" in 1996. Gone was the pretty-boy babyface who wrestled in tag teams. Instead, Buff was now a pretty-boy heel who wrestled in tag teams. He teamed with Scott Norton to form "Vicious and Delicious", and later with Scott Steiner to form "Roids R Us". After that, he did a bunch of stuff that no one remembers because it was in WCW in the late nineties, and no one knew what the hell was going on even when it was just happening. Oh, he broke his neck and his mom became a tag champ. Anyhoo, his career highlight ("thus far", teehee) was when the mention of his name on RAW got a pop. He was subsequently signed by the WWF as they were starting up the WCW Invasion storyline, and proceeded to be dumb enough to continue being a wise-ass bitch backstage even in a company where the people in charge have some brains. After sucking up a RAW main event against Booker T, starting fights with wrestlers and generally being a dumbass, Buff became a wee bit unpopular behind the scenes, and it so happened that the Acolytes even punched a hole in his top hat. Things were just not going well, and it's when you encounter situations like these that you run away and tell mommy. Mrs. Bagwell called WWF offices to explain that Buff was injured and couldn't come to class, and by the way, why isn't her baby boy being picked up in a limo before the shows? Soon after, Buff was fired. Funny how that happened.

Current occupation: Working nights at McDonald's.

Turn-ons: Mirrors. Promotional posters of himself. Mirrors.

Turn-offs: Mean people who punch holes in hats.

Strange But True # 1: Buff has implants. Honestly. He had to take time off when one of them exploded.

Strange But True # 2: Certain wrestling promoters still insist on signing Buff to deals. These people apparently don't do background checks.

Role models: Lex Luger. Scott Steiner. That Dude With The Freakishly Huge Biceps.

Words to remember: "I'm telling mommy!"