ECW ‘The Doctor Is In’
August 3, 1996
ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Announcers: Joey Styles

The tape begins with FBI member JT Smith (he of Mike Awesome brutal squash fame) making his way to the ring. ‘The Italian Stallion’ gets on the mic and wastes no time in introducing KISS. KISS?! At the bingo hall?! Phew, nope, luckily it’s just master impersonators Stevie Richards, Meanie, Nova and another guy who I don’t recognise on first viewing. This was a funny skit to kick things off until The Sandman spoils the festivities by caning everyone in sight. Now ECW Champion Raven is out with Sandman’s wife Lori and son Tyler, whom he “stole” from Sandy. Raven has one leg in a cast but he’s in the ring ready to go at it with his nemesis. Richards from behind, Stevie Kick! And The Sandman is prone to a vicious cane shot to the eye from Raven.

Match #1: Devon Storm vs. Mikey Whipwreak

Commentary: You may have seen Storm more recently as WCW’s Crowbar. Here he is a glorified indy worker (dreadful ring attire and the highly inventive persona of ‘Dangerous’ Devon Storm didn’t help matters) with the cheap-ass entourage of Lady Alexander and Damien Cain (Or is it Pain? Whatever, he’s worthless). Smooth exchanges in the early going ending in a series of pinfall reverses. Storm takes control with a nice tilt-a-whirl flying headscissors but Mikey fights back working on the arm. Whipwreck with a headscissors off the ropes to the floor and a springboard body block of sorts, which he almost lands on his head. Back in the ring Storm counters an attempted huracanrana with an electric chair drop then executes a snap suplex for a two count. Storm locks on a modified figure four leglock which results in cries of “WOOOOO” from the crowd. ‘Dangerous’ still in control with a lame rolling kick and a back breaker. Chair in the ring now, Storm feigns to go for a top rope huracanrana onto the chair but decides to throw the chair out of the ring to piss the fans off. Like they cared. Mikey hits a clothesline off the second rope while Storm is trying to work the crowd and quickens the pace with pinfall attempts. Storm fights back and nails a (one footed) baseball slide and crotches his opponent on the guard rail. Brutal high spot coming up. With Whipwreck sat on a chair on the outside, Storm lands on him with a dangerous somersault flip over the top rope. Miket takes Devon’s full body weight on his head and shoulders. Instead of going for the 3 count, Storm hits a messy moonsault but Damien Cain tells Storm to hurt him not pin him.

Finish: Whipwreck with a fightback hits the ‘Franken-mikey’ (huracanrana) for 2 and a top rope cross body block. Damien’s interference backfires and Mikey takes ‘The Godfather of Extreme’ out of the equation with a missile dropkick. Whipwreck gets the pinfall with a sloppy tope rope ‘Franken-mikey’.

Comments: Nice little opener, although Storm was still green and lacked pacing and timing which resulted in the match being slow in places and a couple of sloppy spots. Can’t complain too much, Mikey worked hard as usual and the somersault spot was great. Match rating: **1/4

Match #2: Johnny Smith vs. Louie Spicolli

Commentary: Spicolli was the WWF’s Rad Radford, this was his first month in ECW. His opponent, Smith, is a British wrestler making his first ECW appearance. He’s a great worker but his charisma makes Chris Benoit look like The Rock. He’s also related to The British Bulldog if I’m not mistaken. Very smooth chain wrestling in the early going and things get very physical quickly as the action is taken to the outside. In the ring, Spicolli hits a lovely bridged German Suplex for a near fall but loses control of the bout when Smith raises the knees on an attempted splash. Smith with a missile dropkick and a hard clothesline, earning him a 2 count. Action moving along at a very deliberate pace. Smith misses another clothesline and Louie plants him with a spinebuster. The fans show their appreciation with Spicolli hitting a bridged Nothern Lights suplex for another near fall. Spicolli brings a chair into the action but is unable to use it as Smith hits a top rope elbow drop.

Finish: Succession of pinfall attempts and Smith lands a Tiger-Bomb for the 3 count.

Comments: Why were these two given less than half the time Whipwreck and Storm were? Very good contest in the little time they were given. OWWWW, the Arena faithful really liked that one as well, especially taking into considering this was Johnny’s first outing for the promotion. Match rating: **1/2

Match #3: Axl Rotten vs. D-Von Dudley

Commentary: As was usual for this period, Axl is hailing from Newcastle, England. Yeah right. Is referee John ‘Peewee’ Moore wearing leather trousers? Hmmm. Not looking forward to this one. No smooth mat exchanges to start things off here. Instead, we have a chair fight that Axl wins when he cracks Dudley over the back with the steel. Another stiff shot, looks like Rotten wanted to hit the head with that one but D-Von gave him the back. Low blow by D-Von and two weak chair shots. Wait, here’s Buh Buh Ray and Sign Guy Dudley with steel in hand. Will he put an end to this trash? Yep, thank God. Hard chair shot to the head of D-Von (this was during the feuding Dudley days). Oh no, it’s getting worse, D-Von with another low blow (that’s two low blows and two chair shots so far, I bet a lot of guys are envious of his move set). Sign Guy takes a shot to the head from D-Von as does Chubby Dudley who has just jumped into the ring. The future WWF Tag champions start brawling and D-Von hits another fucking low blow. Dear God. Axl Rotten is looking like a complete asshole just sitting in the corner watching and trying to act all shocked at events. Just piss off will ya? Buh Buh connects with a reckless chairshot but D-Von must have the power of the urn or something as he’s up and lays out his 3 brothers with more chair shots. More weak brawling, more steel denting, oh great here comes the worst Dudley of them all, Big Dick. D-von bails then Buh Buh actually does something of worth. He almost crushes D-Von with a plancha over the top rope. That puts an end to that. Match rating: You must be kidding.

Match #4: Stevie Richards vs. Sandman (ECW World Championship match)

Commentary: Raven on the mic. Says he can’t defend the title tonight because of his injury. Commish Tod Gordon is in the ring with Stevie and Richards announces that he will defend the title against Sandy for Raven. So Raven DDTs him, haha. Sandy rushes to the ring only to walk into a Stevie Kick. 1…2…,…3! Stevie wins! Er, no he doesn’t. Just kidding. He got a 2 and the match is on. Richards goes to work on ‘The Extreme Icon’s’ injured eye and he’s bleeding. Sandy is quick to retaliate with cane shots and a DDT for a near fall. Sandman throws the future RTC leader to the floor so he can grab a breather. Richards thrown onto the guard rail and Sandy drops the leg from the apron. His face is in a mess as Joey Styles points out. Raven hands Richards the title belt to attack with, which he does. Meanie on the top rope with a moonsault. Thinks he has Sandman, but instead lands on Stevie. 2 and ¾! ‘Dancin’ Stevie ducks a clothesline and is on target with another Stevie Kick. But ‘The Drunken Master’ kicks out of the subsequent cover. Meanie has his lard ass in the ring again and accidentally hits Richards with a Tiger Driver (Sandy blinded him you see. Dumb, I know) which earns Sandman another near fall. Nova then lands a top rope leg drop on his man and Sandy again gets a two count. Richards will not lay down for anyone! Ref gets bumped in a messy spot and with all 3 men down, Raven hobbles into the ring in an attempt to interfere. Missy Hyatt appears from nowhere and stops him from doing so. Lori hits Missy with a boot and Raven tries to nail Sandy with the same foreign object but the drunken one hits a DDT on the champ.

Finish: With Sandy looking to nail Raven with the cane, Richards sneaks from behind with the boot and lays him out. Richards goes for the cover, Raven pulls him off and gets the three himself. Huh?

Comments: Mildly entertaining while it lasted, but the finish made little sense. If Stevie was ‘contracted’ to defend the title then why was Raven allowed to take the pinfall, even if he was champ? Sloppy booking. Match rating: *3/4

Match #5: Too Cold Scorpio vs. Chris Jericho

Commentary: Flash Funk and the ‘Funkettes’ dance their way down the aisle. Sorry. Scorpio was still a credible performer here as this was before the WWF took all his talent and turned him into a dancing freak complete with a win/loss record that even the Brooklyn Brawler frowned upon. Jericho announced from Calgary, Alberta, Canada. This should be good. Mat wrestling exchanges in the early going, both men testing the other with submission manoeuvres and unusual ones at that. Jericho gets a couple of good ‘Lionheart’ chants, then the fans start up a ‘Bischoff sucks’ chant. Jericho nails a dropkick, a regular arm drag and a Japanese arm drag to which Too Cold decides to head for a breather on the outside. Jericho allows Scorp to get back in the ring and tastes a low(ish) blow for his troubles. TCS with a jumping axe kick and a clothesline keeps him in the driving seat. The two trade kicks and Jericho lands a vertical suplex. Slingshot bodypress earns ‘Lionheart’ a close fall, but Scorpio hits two low blows in succession to halt Jericho’s momentum. Beautiful T-Bone suplex executed by TCS and a couple of hard straight kicks sends Chris to the floor. Jericho quickly back in the ring but takes a standing bulldog and a superkick. Jericho backdrops his opponent to the apron then goes for a springboard crossbody (like his WWF springboard dropkick) but the referee is in the way. Jericho still goes for it but Scorp ducks and ‘Y2J’ hits the concrete. The unforgiving arena crowd chant “You fucked up”, but I don’t see how on this occasion. Scorpio attempts a handspring kick that looks good…until impact. He completey missed Jericho. D’oh! Big powerbomb from Too Cold and a top rope legdrop earns a near fall. Jericho in the turnbuckles counters an incoming Scorpio by back dropping him to the apron, and lands his springboard dropkick which looks real nice. Jericho flies to the outside with a drop kick from the top and TCS is struggling back into the ring. Jericho helps him in with a floatover suplex then locks on a double underhook into powerbomb that looks like crap. Scorp retaliates with a sunset flip off the top rope for a 2 count. Jericho off the ropes hits a DDT and goes for the Lionsault. TCS moves but Jericho lands on his feet. ‘Lionheart’ with a huracanrana into a pinfall attempt for 2. ‘Y2J’ goes for another powerbomb but he is just sooooooo weak. He barelt lifts Scorpio off the floor and Too Cold just manages to reverse the move with the headscissors. Scorpio misses a third floor moonsault and Jericho quickly takes advantage with a sloppy splash from the second turnbuckle. 2 count, phew I thought for a second that crap might have ended it. Both men on the top turnbuckle now and Chris takes a feet first bump to the floor. Scorp follows him off but Jericho catches him coming in with a boot to the chest. Both men recover and back in the ring Scorpio thinks it’s time for a neckbreaker but Jericho does not. TCS ends up dropping to the canvas himself while Jericho attempts another Lionsault and hits it, awkwardly as usual. 2 count and Scorp counters a suplex with a DDT. He goes up top but ‘Lionheart’ cuts him off and executes a top rope power slam.

Finish: Jericho misses a twisting splash off the top and Scorpio hits a Tombstone piledriver. Scorpio goes to the top once again and connects with a dangerous looking Shooting Star Press for the 1-2-3.

Comments: Great in places, sloppy in others. Both men are renowned for hard work and for clumsy spots. They displayed both in this contest, but the arena liked it and generally so did I. Best match of the card thus far. Match rating: ***

Match # 6: Shane Douglas (c) vs. Pit Ball 2 (ECW TV Title match)

Commentary: The Pit Bulls are out first, Styles is in the ring for a word with them. Pit Bull 1 comments on his broken neck at the hands of Douglas. PB2 is obviously looking for revenge for his partner. Douglas makes his way down the aisle and mocks PB1 while Styles drones on…and on about how Francine betrayed the Bulls to help Douglas win the TV Title. A trim Joel Gertner introduces ‘The Franchise’ and the match is on. [sarcasm]Can’t wait for this one…[/sarcasm]

Pitball hits a Brainbuster and a Piledriver as the fans chant “Break his neck…Break his neck”. Tons of brawling in and out of the ring, mostly out, nothing of note. ‘Bull crashes through a table on the outside and Douglas continues his slow assault. Styles is all mellow-dramatic as PB1 springs a major leak after diving off the top rope and hitting the guard rail. Suplex from Shane and a Piledriver on a steel chair both earn two counts. Pitbull is ‘Hulking up’ and takes control. Oh, wait…he’s succumbing to blood lost apparently.

Finish: They tease a Pitball Superbomb (Powerbomb off the turnbuckles) finish, but Douglas escapes, hits 2 Belly-to-belly Suplexs and takes the pinfall. Match rating: *

Comments: Crap. Post match Joel Gertner and the official both take Superbombs. I really don’t care even if the Arena did.

Match #7: ‘Prime Time’ Brian Lee & Taz vs. Tommy Dreamer & ‘Dr. Death’ Steve Williams

Commentary: This is a ‘Dream Tag Partner Match’. Lee ‘picked’ the pissed off midget and Dreamer ‘chose’ Dr. Death who gets a great reception at the Arena. Prime Time and Dreamer kick things off and this is a regular tag contest. Tommy hits a neckbreaker and Lee quickly makes the tag. Taz nails a Northern Lights Tazplex but Dreamer kicks out. Taz wants Williams. Should be interesting…Nope, the match immediately turns into your typical ECW arena-wide brawl. Taz and ‘The Innovator Of Violence’ head on up to the sound stage while Williams and Lee battle through the crowd. Lee ends up on the stage and Dreamer tries to DDT him off the top stage and through 3 tables on the lower deck. Taz has other ideas as he grabs Dreamer and brutally puts him through 1 of the tables with a T-Bone Tazplex. That’s gotta be an “Oh My GOD” moment. Fonzy (who had obviously yet to turn on Taz in favour of Sabu and RVD) takes out Dreamer’s delightful valet, Beulah. She completely no sells him however, and the two have a bitch fight until the Doctor breaks things up.

Finish: Williams and Taz actually wrestle in the ring, resulting in a Doctor Bomb from Williams. Lee breaks up the count and the heels double team Doc. Dreamer being Dreamer is crawling back towards the ring, trashcan in hand. Williams and Taz end up on the outside and Lee Chokeslams Tommy throughout the can for the 3. Match rating: **

Comments: Short but enjoyable brawl, if a little disjointed. Steve Williams at the ECW Arena was a revelation.

Match #8: ECW Tag Title match – The Eliminators (c) vs. The Bruise Brothers vs. The Samoan Gangsta Party vs. The Gangstas

Commentary: If you don’t know, The Eliminators are current WWF jabroni, Perry Saturn and John Kronus. The Bruise Brothers are long time WWF jabronis from yester-year. Their monikers included Skull & 8-Ball of the DOA, The Blu Brothers and The Grimm Twins. More recently, they played The Harris Twins in WCW. Incidentally, The Samoan G.P. are wrestling in handcuffs, they escaped police arrest, you see.

New Jack is involved so this is naturally a weapon-infested brawl. (Dis)organised Mayhem pretty much describes things. Fatty Matty of the Gangsta Party almost breaks his neck whilst tumbling out of the ring. New Jack eliminates them shortly after. The match takes to the mean streets of Philly. Watch your backs, fellas. More brawling and The Eliminators hit their Total Elimination finisher to um, eliminate The Brothers Bruise. It’s down to The Gangstas and the champs.

Finish: An attempted Total Elimination on New Jack goes wrong as Kronus nails Perry inadvertently. Mustafa then actually executes the wrestling move, a ‘spectacular’ Powerslam and New Jacks gets the pinfall with his top rope chair to the mush. New champions. Match rating: *

Comments: You’ve seen one New Jack match, you’ve seen em all…

Match #9: Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu (Stretcher Match)

Commentary: To win this match you have to put your opponent on a stretcher and have him wheeled to the back, the theory being that the stretcher creates a great deal of opportunity for innovative and dangerous spots. The match builds with some mat work, it won’t last long with these two, trust me. Sabu hits the first big move with a good looking slingshot leg block but RVD retaliates with a double underhook into a front slam. Van Dam is knocked to the floor and Sabu follows him with a slingshot somersault Senton. With a table set-up on the outside, RVD regains control with his ‘educated’ feet-based offence. One minute they were mat wrestling, the next it is a spot a second. Geez. Sabu starts throwing chairs recklessly, as he does but ‘The Whole F’n Show is the first to call for the stretcher after landing a chair assisted top rope leg drop. Sabu isn’t ready to give up yet though, and we return to the ring where Van Dam hits a Powerbomb. They botch a spot as Sabu rolls off the back of RVD and falls flat on his arse. They quickly redeem things however, with the man from Bombay, Michigan nailing a Guillotine legdrop. Van Dam then totally fucks up trying to slingshot from the outside back in. His foot slips on the ropes and he ends up landing on his face. Oh, the embarrassment. Sabu hits a nasty rolling Arabian Facebuster then what Styles describes as a leaping Arabian Facebuster. Hmmm, don’t ask me, it looked sloppy whatever it was. After Van Dam almost takes a stretcher ride out of the arena, Sabu hits the Triple Jump Moonsault then goes for the cover. No pinfalls, I’m afraid. Air Sabu ends up in a mid-air collision then Mr ‘Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal’ almost breaks his legs in hitting Van Dam with an Asai Moonsault on the stretcher. Sabu is really feeling the effects of that and both men are being wheeled out. Sabu is up though, and almost crushes RVD with a legdrop on the stretcher half way down the aisle. The future ‘Mr. Monday Night’ hits a Moonsault Bodyblock off the guard and the action returns to the ring where Sabu hits a dodgy looking hurcanrana. Rob rolls out onto the table set up earlier and Sabu runs the ropes looking to put him through the wood. Van Dam stands up on the table however, catches Sabu on the top rope and drives him through the table with a Fisherman’s Buster to the floor.

Finish: Some more sloppy action is traded in the ring and Sabu finds himself on the stretcher. Van Dam wants to finish him off however, and attempts a somersault Senton. Sabu rolls off stretcher and RVD’s back smashes into it. That’s enough for the medics to wheel ‘The Whole F’n Show’ to the back and Sabu I announced as the winner. Match rating: ***1/2

Comments: You know what to expect with these two, blown spots and high risks aplenty. On this occasion the odd clumsy mistake can be overlooked as they really did produce a highly entertaining spot-fest.

Overall: An average ECW Arena offering, the Stretcher match and the appearance of Steve Williams (even though he didn't actually do much) obviously stole the show. But with almost all ECW shows, there is an unwanted blend of good and bad, the bad supplied by 'The Usual Suspects' (A.K.A. Douglas, The Gangstas, The Dudleys).

High points:

RVD vs. Sabu.
Steve Williams’ surprise appearance.
Tazplex off the sound stage.

Low points:

The Dudley Boyz (boy, they’ve come a long way).
Joey Styles annoyingly over-selling the Pitball/Franchise feud.
A plethora of blown spots and clumsy wrestling.