oy! dwayne!

'being an introduction to a story written about me'                                       by linz so, laura wrote this about me roughly a year ago.  she wrote it on an 3 x 5 index card.  i kept that index card, safely and lovingly, ever since.  she, on the other hand, couldnt even remember that she wrote it, when i brought it up in conversation about a month ago.  poo on her. enjoy!!

once upon a time there was a little girl named dwayne.  this was, of course, a Very Strange Name for a girl, but she got over it by becoming a Very Strange Girl.  once dwyane was in college, she realised that she was ever so much better at sleeping, slacking, and wasting time than studying.  her Highly Supportive Friends tried to make her understand that, although taking a year off is very nice, it is also wholly impossible if one is kicked out of school.  dwayne, unfortunately, did not listen to her highly intelligent friends and continued to sleep through class and forget homework for fun until one day all her professors got pissed, went postal, and came after dwayne with guns and pencils.  dwaynes major body parts and other bits were found the next day and strung up onto the manor house to serve as a reminder to other potential delinquents. ~fin~

(you may now be noting with great interest the Capitalised Words in the above story.  they were a Very Important Part of the original text, and simply could not be ignored.  -linz)

'im totally lost! take me back to the beginning!!'

'how could she have forgotten this!!'