Polar bears, secret hatches, mysterious number sequences, man-eating monsters (or man-chewing-and-spitting-out monsters): This show has been throwing out mystery after mystery from the moment those poor souls crashed on that 'desserted' island and they have yet to give us any answers. Rumors abound- "Are they dead and stuck in Purgatory?", "Is this all a dream?", "Are they part of an experiment controlled by twisted scientists?". Never has the impatient American audience loved something so much that they completely don't understand. Historically, the popularity of the show would have declined due to audiences thinking, "I don't f*cking get this stupid show! Isn't 'Girlfriends' on right now?" Secretly, I hope that creator JJ Abrams finally concludes the show, after a healthy ten year stint, by appearing as a guest star and telling the characters "Yeah, I have no I idea where I was going with this..."
As you wait to purchase your groceries, their sheen captures your eye as if they've been smeared with vaseline, making you feel just as oily as the paparazzi who battled for those precious images. Whether you purchase Us, In Touch, or Life & Style, all the images are the same, yet you can't buy just one. Over the course of a month, these guilty pleasures can take a recently divorced Hollywood couple and create stories of affairs, catfights, illegitimate children, and attempted suicide- all while citing the trusty words of "and insider" or "a close friend". With accompanying photos of the irritated celebrity in question, it all seems so believable! These magazines have made celebrities out of professional do-nothing-ers like Nicole Richie and Tara Reid, and offers the supportive "They're just like us!" section that attempts to make famous people into actual human beings ("They get parking tickets!", "They ride their bikes!", "They get itches that must be scratched!"). These magazines are an important component of American culture because they teach us that journalism has many loopholes in which 'facts' never have to be cross-referenced. More importantly, they have made us all a little too aware of Jessica Simpson's growing sexiness, as well as Britney Spears' ongoing metamorphosis into a disgusting white trash cow. God bless the first amendment.
I have always been a fan of cult followings, and I hate seeing my favorite things become standards of popular culture. For instance, in 1995 I told my girlfriends that one of my requirements for a boyfriend was that he be able to quote The Simpsons. Nowadays, I cringe whenever I hear someone say "D'oh!". And I think that we can all remember a time when we had to explain to a friend that doing a Dr. Evil impersonation just isn't funny anymore, so I think you all know where I'm coming from. So far, however, I haven't tired of hearing various expressions from Napolean Dynamite, whether they be a simple "Yessss", or a more impressive "Give me some of your tots". And when I spot someone sporting the PHS physical education t-shirt or the classic "Vote for Pedro" crew neck, I always chuckle because it transports me to the sunny Idaho world of Napolean and his friends. The time will come, however, when I will finally be annoyed by the sayings and the t-shirts, and quoting Napolean Dynamite will lose its cool-ness just like head-banging to "Bohemian Rhapsody" did. But for now, I'm at peace with it.