So I say, metaphorically speaking, I am already an adult
I stare at the wind, invisible as it is
She hears the voice of death, silent though it is
I say, who are you to tell me my thoughts
I am here, and myself; you are a stranger at my mind’s door
She replies, you are one that wishes to be another
Your thoughts are always of them, your eyes always seeing them
And I say, how right you are, you who never knocks but always waits
I long to be another, but the other only exists
In that other world my mind strays to constantly
A pencil taps somewhere, and I can’t see it anymore
Don’t let me lock myself in! I cry
I cannot join the world again; I have trapped myself!
Take out your hypothetical key and snap me out of this death wish
Kill my soul and bring me back to life
She says, you would rather live a life of death
Than live a life of torture? how ridiculous
I reply, they are the same; I already know the one
Let me see the other
She closes her eyes and waits, and I know she cannot, will not help me
I scream, who are you to deny me my voice
I cannot speak to this endless void forever
Leave my imagined front steps and find your own way across this barren desert of misunderstanding blindfolded
Leave me to find my way myself, and I will leave you to the vultures
She spits at my feet, unreal as she is
I slam the door in her face, unreal as it was
It is real now, I fear
I have been changed in an irreversible way, I realize, too late
