New York, NY
The Fez
Subways and Baseball
Sara: So… um, I got into a… Is that dangerous? Really, you can be honest with me. Having the subway this close to the building, in the basement. What if there’s like a ground fault change or something?
Sara: As long as we’re all comfortable with dying together, right? So anyways, I got into some trouble last night because I mentioned the uh, ah, the whole baseball thing. (Audience groans.) Sorry. Hot topic. Anyways…
Tegan: You didn’t really mention it. You told, you told that you thought that they should calm down because there’s two guys almost beating each other up on the street over it.
Sara: Pardon me! What was I thinking?!
Tegan: Come on, remember when the Calgary Flames won the, uh, Stanley Cup? We were eight, (Sara tries to say something) but we got up, we got up out of bed and we put on our sweatpants and our little runners and we all went to the local Max and we all stood in the parking lot and screamed. Yes we did.
Sara: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but before the game I didn’t like… Who the, who the f… Anybody from Calgary here know who they played when they won the Stanley Cup? Was it Montreal? L.A.? L.A. It was L.A.
Tegan: Yeah.
Sara: I didn’t go down to L.A. and threaten anyone. (In a high pitched voice:) “Hey motha fucka!”
Tegan: Whatever. I’m just saying, ya’ know: You don’t mess with the team.
Sara: I wasn’t saying they couldn’t take it seriously, but violence? Dangerous.
Tegan: No. The subway’s dangerous. You should just stay out of it.
Sara: Yeah, I want the Yankees to win. Who wants the Yankees to win? (Some cheer, some boo.)
Tegan: Uh oh.
Sara: Uh oh.
Tegan: I want the Mets to win. That’s the table to watch out for right there…
Picking Fights
Tegan: I'm not doing anything, I was just looking at you is that okay?
Sara: It's pretty regular, hey? This subway thing. Do you wanna play a quiet one?
Tegan: Sure.
Sara: So that laughing and noisyness there is gonna have to just stop right now.
Tegan: You're just not trying to make friends here in New York state, huh?
Sara: That's not true.
Audience Member: I like you.
Sara: See that. That's one friend. My mom said that...
Tegan: Hey, hey, hey I haven't alienated anyone yet.
Sara: Uh-oh somebody's cell phone's ringing.
Tegan: That's right pick on the people with cell phones now.
Sara: Are you trying to pick on me?
Tegan: Why not?
Tegan and Sara: (start playing) "One month to the day that you said that you'd..."
Sara: I feel like paying homage everytime it goes by. "Have a good ride."
Tegan: That would be totatlly cool if they had big windows all the way along and you could wave at the people riding the subway.
Sara: Now that would be dangerous. Kind of like Seaworld. "Ah, next stop Times Square, and on your left, there's The Fez."