Goodnight My Someone

Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager and all related material is the property of paramount picture, but the story is mine. No copyright infringement is implied.

Author's Note: This is a response to a challenge I issued in JetCJr6; to use two specific phases in a story. I'm sure you'll be able to pick them out.

To March!!

"The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to leave this world without ever telling those you loved that you love them."

~Unknown

Goodnight My Someone.
November 28, 1998
Kathryn Murphy

The soft light of the passing stars seemed harsh in comparison to the pale skin of the woman sitting beneath the window. Her deep blue eyes were focused on her trembling hands as they held on to each other, seeking the comfort only companionship could provide.

She hadn't been prepared for the onslaught of feelings tearing at her entre being. What started out as giving in to the moment was quickly becoming her biggest regret. How could she have been this naive. To think she could put it all behind her, and forget what happened tonight.

Sensing a movement behind her, she tensed and hugged her naked body even closer as she rocked forward on the chair.

"Kathryn" came a husky voice whispered in her ear.

Gods, how was it possible for him to evoke such feelings with only the whisper of a word. In truth, she already had the answer to that question, she just wasn't ready to admit it to herself, or to him.

Taking a shaky breath, she opened her mouth to speak, "Chakotay, I..." she began. Kathryn shuttered as she felt him lift his hand and place it on her bare shoulder, gently kneading her tensed muscles.

"Shh Kathryn, I know." came his sad reply, his voice soft and understanding.

Kathryn took a deep breath and sighed as her arms unconsciously tightened their hold on one another. Turning slowly, her own eyes now filled with tear, locked with those of the man with whom she had shared something special. There was so much she wanted, needed to say; how much he meant to her, that tonight was one of the most beautiful things she had ever experienced. That she....

No matter how much her heart was breaking, knowing that she could stop him with one look. One word.

That knowledge made it even more heartbreaking, even more difficult to say good bye. As she stared into his beautiful brown eyes, she almost wished it were all a dream, and it would all end with the coming of the new day. But in those eyes she saw pain and hurt, but love clearly overshadowed all else. And in that way, she knew it wasn't a dream.

"I'm sorry" she began softly, her voice straining to be heard.

"No Kathryn, no apologies." Chakotay interrupted, placing his index finger across her lowed lip. "Please don't say that. Just...just let me have this." he whispered, his eyes pleading with her soul.

She could only nod her head silently, her eyes closed, tears burning their way down her cheeks onto his trembling hands.

He wanted nothing more then to pull her into his arms, holding her, anything to make the pain go away. But standing here, so close yet miles away, was only prolonging the pain. With his own tears adding to hers as they fell to his hand, he moved his finger from her lip, tracing the outline of her jaw one last time, and then turned to leave.

"Chakotay." Kathryn whispered, pleading with him with unspoken words.

He stopped short of the door, his shoulders slumped, head toward the floor.

"How do I know you'll catch me if I fall?" she whispered, so soft he had to strain to hear.

Turning slowly, his eyes resting upon her naked body, traveling to places only hours ago he had discovered. "I'll always be there to catch you Kathryn." he replied sadly, and with one last teardrop, he was gone.

Kathryn watched as the door to her soul closed in front of her. "I know." she whispered to the empty room.

Fine.

True love can be whispered from heart to heart
When lovers are parted, they say.
But I must depend on a wish and a star
As long as my heart doesn't know who you are
~M Willson.

I know it was wrong, what we did tonight. If it helps we can pretend it didn't happen. We can push it away, bury it forever, if it's easier that way. But no matter how hard I try, or how much time will pass, I will never forget tonight.

Goodnight my someone.

~KRM

[ Home ] [ Water Rats ] [ Star Trek Voyager ] [ Star Trek TNG ] [ Links ] [ New ] [ Sign Guestbook ] [ View Guestbook ] [ E-mail Aquiel ]