Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager is the property of Paramount Pictures. No infringement is implied.
Author's Note: This story is written in response to a challenge issued by august in the 1001 story group; to use this title for a story. I got an inspiration reading all the wonderful responses, and with august's ok, I decided to write one too.
Note2: I've decided to add a small explanation, as the meaning I had intended to convey hasn't exactly been clear. I tend to think of "Kathryn" and "The Captain" as separate parts of one person; and it is the conflict between the two that make up who Kathryn Janeway is. Just keep that in mind whe you read this, and hopefully you will understand.
For over five years, I've been by her side, her wall of stone standing strong to protect her. We've seen our share of rough times, fighting and...surviving, but she, we have always come out on top. Together.
I know there are some on board Voyager who regard my loyalty to the Captain as nothing more then doing my job as her first officer, and I tell myself they believe this because they are too shallow to really notice what's been going on.
For my Captain I would trust, would kill, protect, but only for Kathryn would I love.
As long as I've known this woman I have learned there are two separate parts joined to create what she has become; and it is not always easy to separate one from the other.
I serve under my Captain, day by day. We work to keep our ship running, and our crew happy. Captain Janeway is a remarkable leader, you could not have asked for a more competent person to get us home. Her confident personality paired with her leadership abilities and her overwhelming intelligence and compassion, have proven invaluable on our journey.
And behind the Captain's almost impenetrable shell there lies what is perhaps the most important aspect of her being; her humanity.
Very few are privileged enough to even catch a glimpse of this remarkable piece of wonder; I am perhaps, one of the luckiest of all.
Kathryn's soul, her passion is kept hidden away tucked behind her Captain's facade. On New Earth, I saw Kathryn, alone for the first time, free of the heavy burdens of being in command. She was just Kathryn.
There aren't many who can tell the two apart, but if you can look into that woman's eyes and feel your heart melt down to your toes, then it's Kathryn you're seeing. And if you even get that chance, to look into her eyes and see nothing but pure emotion, anger, love, even pain, then cherish that moment because you never know when it will happen again.
There was a time when I could feel her presence before I could see it, a time those eyes would be shining their love at me. But things happen, hearts get broken, and no matter how hard we try, some broken wings are never meant to fly.
The last thing her eyes ever spoke to me, was pain. The tears she cried hurt more then if someone had denied me the right to breath.
And once more, the Captain was there to pick up the pieces, taking Kathryn's broken soul and wrapping it deep behind its armour. Every time we open up our hearts to let someone in, we take a chance, and I think we all have a little bit of 'the Captain' somewhere, deep inside, ready to pick up the pieces and protect us from hurting. But if there was one moment in time, one thought, one minute, one second I could go back and change, it was when we said goodbye, and I saw Kathryn, for the very last time.
Fine
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