Disclaimer: I wish I could say they were mine, but I can't (they belong to Hal!) ::sob:: That doesn't mean I can't borrow them though...<insert evil grin right about here> right?!

Note: The song is entitled "What Might Have Been" by Little Texas. It's absolutely beautiful, and has been a favourite of mine for years.

Comments are always welcome. Enjoy

Misguided

By: Aquiel

The water was calm tonight. For the first time in a week, I'm not forced to sit below deck, just keeping the Footloose going in the right directions. For the first time, I can sit out on the deck, without the worry of being washed over board. The past week has been hell. It's at times like these I have to wonder what the hell I was thinking when I decided to start this little adventure. How much had I been drinking when I made my choice.

But tonight; tonight was perfect. It isn't often that I've seen a sky quite like this. I can see every star up there, twinkling, each trying to out shine the other. And the moon off in the horizon. It shines down on the water and if I concentrate hard enough, I can almost pretend that it's leading me home.

Almost.

Sure I think about you now and then

But it's been a long, long time

I've got a good life now, I've moved on

So when you cross my mind

I'm not usually one for melancholy and regrets, but on nights like these, I can't help but think. And sometimes my thoughts take me down the path I try every day to forget. But no matter how hard I try, or how much I push them back, the feelings they leave is enough to bring on this overwhelming feeling of...sadness.

I often wonder how things are back there; at work, with Helen and the gang. And ever now and then I allow myself to wonder how you've been doing. But only for a moment or two. It hurts too much to think too long.

I try not to think about

What might have been

'Cause that was then and we have taken different roads

We can't go back again, there's no use giving in

And there's no way to know

What might have been

But as much as my head tells me to put it all behind, my heart just can't seem to get the message. So on nights like these, when the moon is bright and the stars are crying, my thoughts drift back to you. To your beautiful smiling face, and how much I want to hold it in my hands. I want more than anything to look into your piercing blue eyes, and to see them smiling back at me. "Everything is going to be alright." you say, somewhere in my dreams. And then I press your lips to mine, and hold you tight. We will always be together, in my dreams. And maybe in yours. But no matter how much I wish it were different, we can never go back again.

We could sit and talk about this all night long

And wonder why we didn't last

Yes, they might be the best days we will ever know

But we'll have to leave them in the past

This dream always ends the same way; "Promise me, you won't forget." you whisper, and as hard as I may try, I can't answer you.

Because, in all reality, I can't honestly say that somewhere, sometime I won't remember you. I hope it never comes to that, because although it hurts like hell to look around and know beyond anything else, that you will never be here, there is a part of me, deep down that wishes I could forget. Forever.

But it's unlikely. Because, as much as you hate to hear it, and as much as I hate to say it, I'm in love and I'll be damned if I let it walk away.

That same old look in your eyes

It's a beautiful night

I'm so tempted to stay

But too much time has gone by

We should just say goodbye

And turn and walk away

Somewhere maybe, sometime in years to come, this day will come back to me, and I'll have to laugh, if not cry, over what happened. Do you know what you do to me? Do you have any idea? No. I don't suppose you do. And I guess you never will. But there isn't much I can do about that now. So instead of looking back over my shoulder, wondering if perhaps, there will ever come a day when I see you staring back at me, I'll just keep moving on. Chasing down that moon out there, because I know somewhere, it will lead me home.

Wherever home is.

No, we'll never know

What Might Have Been

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