Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended, I only wish to see them happy.
Author's Note: When Ryn-Ryn gets an idea, she writes fast!
Spifmeister, welcome home!!
My sincere thanks to all of you who voted for this story. I
really appreciate that you took the time to submit a vote, and it
is because of you that this won. Thanks bunches everyone:-)
Su Amante
By: Kathryn Murphy
November 1, 1998
When I was a child, cradled safely in the arms of my mother, I
would dream the dreams of all little girls. I would envision my
future as a fairytale adventure; a princess in the tower, waiting
for her knight in shining armor. I wanted nothing more then to be
carried away in his arms, riding off into the distant sunset, and
never look back.
Years later, I've found myself segregated from everything I have
ever known. I don't believe this is what I had in mind when I
said, 'and never look back'. I had to re-evaluate my entire
existence within the passing of minutes. Everything I had seen
and done, people I had loved and despised, all became the non
essential parts of living.
And so I adapted.
I have never been known to be an emotional person; it has always
been my observation that people tend to me more responsive to
someone who doesn't feel. In my line of work, I would have to
agree. But what others don't realize, and what I myself am only
beginning to learn, is that I am a person, I have feelings and
needs. And yes, I do cry.
There are not many with whom I am comfortable enough to share my
feelings; in fact, I can count them all on one hand. And of
those, only one is with me now. The one I have come to respect as
an incredible officer, a valued member of my crew, is also the
one who gives me words of encouragement, and who holds my hand.
He is the one I have come to rely on more then any one else in my
life.
That thought both comforts me, and scares me to death.
It has been over five years since I welcomed this man onto my
ship, and into my life. He has been by my side, as I walked
through hell and back, and never once did he complain of the
heat. He knows me better then I know myself; too well for his own
good sometimes, but he always has my best interest at heart.
The man who sits next to me for hours on end, is also the one
with whom I share my evenings, and my thoughts. He listens
patiently as I tell him about my ideas, interjecting here and
there. When I need a laugh, or even when I need to cry, he is
always there.
In return for all that he gives me, his only want, his only wish
is that I let him in. That I tell the truth.
After years of closing the door when things got out of hand, or
putting on that dreaded Captain's mask in place of telling the
truth, it took almost losing the most precious thing in life, for
me to open my eyes.
When I realized how badly he had been hurt, I can't even begin to
describe the feelings passing through my soul. But as I waited as
time stood still, to see his beautiful brown eyes, I could feel
one thing, and one thing only; my love for him.
As a child, the process of growing up seemed to me like a waste
of time, but I have come to realize that it is through the very
process of growing, that one learns to live.
The little girl in her mother's arms never did become a princess
in the tower, nor did she find her knight in shining armor, but
the one thing she never dreamed of, was of course, what she
found.
And when I finally found the courage to open my heart, what did I
find?
Su amante
Fine
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