Disclaimer: Unfortunately for you and me, Star Trek Voyager is
the property of Paramount Pictures, but we're free to add our own
ideas right?
The song used in the story is "What Might Have Been" by Little Texas. While not a huge fan of country music, I used the lyrics becuase they just seemed right.
Dedication: This story is
dedicated to the "Triple D" (aka, Deisha, Desiree and
Devin),
By Kathryn Murphy
July 1998
Kathryn Janeway looked out at the light of the stars,
streaking by into the vast unknown. The one constant in her life;
the stars. Knowing they would always be there; offering her
infinite opportunities and never ending comfort.
But tonight would be her last night under these stars. Only fate
and time would tell how their future played out.
Someone once told her that she had plenty of time left.
Plenty of time.
She closed her eyes, as the light of the passing stars twinkled
on the single tear that slid down her cheek.
Tonight they were going home.
***
They weren't looking for it. But it found them. A wormhole
that led right to the heart of the Alpha Quadrant; Federation
Space.
It seemed almost too good to be true.
After 6 long years, their way home suddenly opened up in front of
them; waiting to safely carry them into the arms of Starfleet
Command.
For once, the fates had dealt them a chance; it was now up to her
to take it.
The truth was, she had absolutely no idea what the future held on
the other side of that wormhole.
She knew that there was bound to be court martials, and
questions, and anxious family and friends. That she was
expecting, but what she didn't know was what the future held for
them; as a crew, as a family.
She was more afraid now, then she had even been in her life.
"Penny for your thoughts?"
Kathryn looked up, a small smile spreading across her face, and
her eyes immediately locked with those of her First Officer, best
friend, and other half.
How long he had been sitting there beside her, she didn't
know, but in the past, he had always been there for her, and this
time was no different.
"Hey there." she replied quietly. "How long have
you been here?" she asked. Kathryn shifted on the sofa, to
allow him room to stretch out, and offered him the other half of
her blanket.
It was an oddly intimate gesture, and for any other command team,
it would have been highly unorthodox. Then again, theirs was like
no other relationship on board.
Chakotay accepted the blanket, and reclined on the other end of
the couch. "Long enough to see that you've been
crying." he replied, looking into her eyes.
Kathryn smiled again, as another tear fell, trailing down her
cheek. "You know me so well." she whispered.
Chakotay leaned over and brushed his thumb over her cheek, wiping
away her tears. "Kathryn, what's wrong?" he asked, his
voice full of concern, his eyes full of something else.
She shifted her eyes, but she couldn't look at him. She was
trying to be strong, as a Starfleet Captain should be, but she
was failing miserably. Her eyes scanned her quarters, everywhere,
but where they wanted to be.
"Kathryn, look at me." he said, lifting his hand to her
chin, and gently pulling her face back to his. He had breached
their protocols, 20 minutes earlier, when he entered her quarters
without asking, but he was damned if he was going to let her get
away.
Not this time.
"Tell me what's wrong. You should be happy Kathryn. You're
finally getting this crew; our crew home." he said.
"I know." she whispered softly.
"But," he added.
She wanted to turn away, but she felt compelled to tell him. He
brown eyes spoke volumes of his love and devotion for her, even
after this many years, and she wanted him, needed him to know.
"There is so much I wish I had done differently." she said quietly, and reached over, to take his hand in hers, "Between us."
Chakotay stared into those beautiful blue eyes, and squeezed her hand. "I know." was all he said.
Time passed by, just like the stars, yet they sat there, hands laced together, not talking, only holding.
Finally Chakotay broke the silence, pulling her to her feet. "May I have this dance?" he asked softly.
Kathryn smiled, her eyes still glistening from
unshed tears, as she moved to his arms. "But there isn't any
music." she said, lacing her arms around his neck.
He wrapped his arms around her waist, and whispered in her ear.
"Shh, just listen. You'll hear it."
Sure I think about you now and then
But it's been a long, long time
I've got a good life now, I've moved on
So when you cross my mind
I try not to think about
What might have been
'Cause that was then and we have taken different roads
We can't go back again, there's no use giving in
And there's no way to know
What might have been
Kathryn held on to him tightly, her face buried in his chest. Chakotay could feel her body shaking in his, and he tightened his grip on her.
They had been through so much together in the past 6 years, and tomorrow, they would be faced with yet another set of challenges.
He wished this moment could last forever. In his arms, was the
most precious thing in life, and he never wanted to let go.
We could sit and talk about this all night long
And wonder why we didn't last
Yes, they might be the best days we will ever know
But we'll have to leave them in the past
That same old look in your eyes
It's a beautiful night
I'm so tempted to stay
But too much time has gone by
We should just say goodbye
And turn and walk away
Kathryn stopped moving and pulled her face from his chest. He
raised his hands, and gently caressed her face, before bringing
his forehead down to meet hers; their eyes locked together.
Nothing was said. Every word that needed to be communicated, was spoken through that look.
Tomorrow, they would face the great unknown, but one thing
they knew for sure. From that moment on, they could only go
forward, and they would do it together. Just like it had always
been.
No, we'll never know
What Might Have Been
Fine
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