MY DOLL BABIES


One Sunday Daddy took as his text

1st Corinthians 13:11

"When I was a child, I spoke as a child

I understood as a child

I thought as a child

But when I became a man

I put away childish things."



I got to thinking about that.

I was nearly a woman

so it was time for me to give up childish things

and take on more responsibility

around the house

and for my life.


But what childish things did I have

to put away?


Then I remembered a box

still taped shut

in the back of the closet

in mine and the boy's bedroom.




After we ate lunch

I pulled it out

pulled the tape off

reached in

and lifted Betsy Wetsy out.


I had never felt close to her

because of that whole bottle and pee thing.


It disgusted me.


I looked her over good

and I still didn't like her.


So I put her aside

on the "childish things" pile.




Lucy Mae was next

with her china head

and cloth stuffed body


but her rubber bands had stretched

and rotted

so her arms and legs were falling off.


But then again, Mutter had given her to me

so she had sentimental value.

Plus I liked the smooth cold feel of her china head.


I put her on the "maybe" pile.




Next was Genevieve

the doll I had gotten in Gila Bend

when I was seven.




She was still pretty

with her blonde curls

and pink bonnet

and lacy dress.


I put her on the "maybe" pile too.




And here was Judy

who was deformed.

Her rear end stuck out in a ridiculous way.

Mom had said she was called a sitting doll

and that she could sit on a windowsill

or a table

but I never did cotton to her


or play with her

or put her on a windowsill


so her blue dress was still crisp

and her red painted lips were still smiling



but just holding her made me shiver.


I put her in the "childish things" pile.




Here was Shirley Temple

in her pink polka-dotted dress

and curls

and patent leather shoes.


She was my first doll.

I had taken her to Mutter's

Christmas night

when I was four

and all my uncles and aunts and cousins

had thought she was so beautiful!

I was so proud to be her mother!


I didn't think I could give her up at all.


I put her on my bed.




Last was Rapunzel

whose long brown locks were matted

whose velvet dress was stained

and who had a nasty-looking puss on her.


Tippie had gotten hold of her

when we lived in Phoenix

and mussed her up

and if Tippie were here in the bedroom with me

right now

I would let him have at her

and finish her off.


I pitched her onto the "childish things" pile.




I went to the garage

got a shovel

went back into the house

gathered up Rapunzel

Judy

and Betsy Wetsy

dug a hole by the fence

and dropped them in.


That night, at devotions

it seemed to me that I had cheated the Lord.

He didn't say to put aside just three of your childish things.




So my prayer was

"Dear Lord, when you said to put away childish things

does it matter if you don't put them all away?"


Mom looked at me.

So of course I knew I had to explain it to her.


She said

"Well, Lynna-girl, that's between you and the Lord."


So she was no help.


In the middle of the night

I knew that it had to be all or nothing


so I got up

took Shirley off the bed

stumbled around in the dark until I found Lucy Mae

and Genevieve

and took them all outside

and buried them


I just wanted the Lord to know

that I was able to do it

for Him.




***************************************
Music playing: Trust and Obey

This page contains copyrighted material

Story taken from my actual diaries

Go to Page 46

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