and bought myself a yard-long string of pearls.
and I was thrilled.
One day I was sitting in the break room
and I had the strangest feeling
that it wasn't really me
sitting there with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth
laughing at a joke about sex.
It was a survival thing, though
and I knew it.
These ladies were churchladies
because they looked after me
and petted me
and gave me whatever they could spare
of their food
love
laughs
the only difference was
they were churchladies who swore.
I knew that I should be strong
and stand up for my beliefs
and pray for help in resisting temptation
and bring my Bible to work
and say Grace before I ate
but I also knew that if I did that
I would be sitting alone
in the breakroom
and in my room at the Y.
So even though I was ashamed of myself before the Lord
I was scared to be alone.
Music Playing: Wild Thing
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