SELF-PITY

Mom brought forth her last child

and wrapped him in a faded blanket

and laid him in a broken crib.


Mom was tired.

She had circles and bags under her eyes.

I wanted to hug her and pet her

plus I had a million things I wanted to talk to her about


but she was always either taking a break by reading her Bible

or changing another diaper.


She was real hard to catch ahold of.


I saw that Wes had taken over my jobs

vacuuming, washing clothes

trying to get all the diapers

folded and put away

trying to get some order

into the house.


Poor Wes was going crazy though.

One day he got real mad

and smacked one of the babies good

on its rear end

and it ran off squalling

and we laughed about it.


We knew we should be ashamed of ourselves

but we weren't.

We both missed Mom so much!



Jimmy was working

going to school

plus he had a girlfriend

so he wasn't much help.


Daddy wasn't a housework type of man.


So I took on the ironing

and swabbing out the bathroom

and rinsing dirty diapers in the toilet


but my first priority was to get a job

to make sure I could go back to college.



I worked all summer at Wharton Brassiere.


We made Secret Treasure bras

big humungous bras

and I spent 8 hours every day bending over my sewing machine

sewing darts into hundreds of bra cups.


It was piecework

so I skipped lunch in order to keep working

because the more darts I sewed

and the more bras I could drop into my finished box

the more money I made.


But oh how it hurt my back and neck and hands!


I met a girl there

Charlene

who made me laugh

with all her jokes about the bras

and who brought me pieces of sandwich

or banana

from her lunch bag

because she said she didn't want to come back from lunch

and see a skeleton sitting there still sewing.


I wanted to do something for her

to thank her for making Wharton Brassiere bearable

and even funny

so I invited her to our house for supper

and I was up half the night cleaning

the night before she was coming to visit.


In the morning I asked Mom if she thought she'd have time

to fix something good for supper

and if she could keep an eye on the house

to make sure it stayed clean.


Mom was so sweet.

She fixed stuffed meatloaf

and devil's food cake

and kept the house reasonably clean.


B U T...

right after supper one of the babies fell off his scooter

and slashed his leg

and we had to call the rescue squad

to take him to the hospital

and Mom went with him

leaving me and Charlene to watch all the other babies

because Wes and Jimmy were at work

and Daddy was visiting a member of his congregation.


Charlene gave babysitting a good try

but after a while

she called her Dad to come get her

and I stood at the screened door

a baby on one hip

another crying in the highchair


waving goodbye and thinking how lucky she was!


If it hadn't been for my sweet Charles

taking a weekend off work to come see me

once in a while

and my desperate prayers for a merry heart

instead of a crabby one


I would have spent the whole summer


wallowing in self pity!




Music Playing: Cry Me a River
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This story is a continuation of Diary of a Preacher's Daughter.
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