Christina sent me the link to her website

after reading mine.

So I went there

and it was so beautiful!

Filled with angels

and prayers

and inspirational stories

and lacy backgrounds

and flowers

and love of the Lord.

I learned that she had lost a son

to cancer

and there were heart-wrenching poems

about him coming back

leaving little notes on her pillow

and her knowledge that someday

she would meet him again

in the buttercup-filled fields of Heaven.

So started a wonderful friendship.

We corresponded daily.

She was a charismatic

warm and wonderful and nurturing

soft-voiced and sweet

Christian

young lady.

I tried to do my best for her

since she was so good to me

and for me.

Then I found out that she had heart trouble

severe

and that she wasn't expected to live.

Oh how my heart ached for her!

She was so young to be so crippled

and in pain.

She had another child

a little daughter

who she couldn't take care of

but who came to visit her Mommy often

and during our long phone conversations

little Bethany could often be heard

screaming for attention in the background.

So we would hang up.

After a while

she started asking me to look up Bible verses

and have them ready to read to her

when she called me

always too late at night

when I was tired

and be ready to discuss how they applied to her life situation.

I was angry at myself

for being angry at her

for calling at 12:00 P.M

or even 1:00 A.M.

for an hour or two of talking.

What kind of scum was I

that I didn't want to do this

at such a late hour

for my beloved friend in need?

When she needed money

to buy school clothes for Bethany

or because her computer was broken

or because she was hungry for steak

or to help afford her medications

I sent some.

Then one day

I got an email

from another internet friend of hers.

She told me that Christina had tons of friends.

She said she spent hours and hours on the phone.

She said nobody knew if her problems were true

or not.

Nobody even knew if Bethany was hers

since she was there sometimes

wanting attention in the background

but other times

she was gone.

I stuck up for Christina

writing back that she had explained about Bethany

coming home to visit her Mommy

but being in the care of a foster home

in the meantime.

But this lady told me

that Christina complained bitterly about Bethany

and called her a miserable demanding child

who was too much for a sick woman

to have to care for.

So a lot of her friends

were concerned about the child.

They were thinking of trying to track down where she lived

and go and visit her.

Well! This was interesting news!

I prayed about it

and decided to wait

to not make judgements

on Christina

based on the statements of somebody I didn't know

or had ever even heard of

before she sent me an email.

So I looked up our Bible verse for tonight

and went about my business.

I didn't mention it to Christina.

She was too sick to bother her

with the gossip of a stranger.

Next thing, Christina went to the hospital

for a quadruple bypass.

She had never mentioned this to me.

I heard about it in another email letter

from somebody else I never heard of.

She begged us all to pray without ceasing

for Christina to make it through surgery.

Of course I dropped to my knees

but there was the beginning of doubt in my heart.

Who the heck were all these people?

Maybe Christina had a bunch more friends

that she called

and emailed

and borrowed money from

but even if that were so

why did it make me feel angry?

Did I think I was her only friend?

The only one who cared

and worried?

I felt I should be ashamed of myself

for wanting to be important to her.

She was the one suffering

not me.

Weeks went by with no word.

I was upset.

Had she died?

And where was Bethany?

So I emailed the lady who had told me

she was going in for surgery.

No answer.

Then one day I turned on my computer

and there was an email

from somebody

telling me that Christina had suffered terribly

but that, because of our prayers,

God had brought her through the surgery

but that her finances were in a horrible mess.

If I could just see my way to sending her something

any little bit would help

because of course she couldn't work anymore

and her insurance didn't cover much

and so on.

For the first time

I didn't send anything.

I figured, what the heck

let some of her hundreds of other friends

carry the load this time.

I was in a pissy mood towards her.

Which was okay

because I never heard from her again.

Until today, when I clicked my computer on

and found an email from Christina

looking for her lost friends

those who had helped her when she was in need

wondering where we were

hoping to hear from us soon

reminding us that she

and God

loved us

and missed us.

Which set me to wondering

how many of her friends

like me

had finally caught on?

I do still worry about Bethany.

I never heard back from the ladies

who were going to check on her.

Maybe that wasn't true, either.

Music Playing: I'LL BE SEEING YOU
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