(This story was told to me by my husband's mother)

She was in bed

on Christmas Eve

hot tears running from the corners of her eyes

to her neck

where they burned and itched

as she thought of last Christmas Eve.

The night her Ed had died.

He'd gone to his Lodge

and was making a speech

when he fell over the podium

down to the floor

dead.

Oh how she missed him!

His little love poems

left on the kitchen table

for her

when he went to work.

Just knowing he was in the house

at night

even when he was in the cellar

messing with his saws and chisels.

His coffee cups in the sink

never rinsed

always stained.

"Oh I just can't believe"

she said to the Lord,

"how much I miss him."

Suddenly she heard a funny noise in the bathroom.

It sounded like the window was opened.

Then there was a ripping sound.

She knew somebody was in there

because she felt their presence.

The hair stood up on the back of her neck.

She immediately had to cough

but of course she couldn't dare

to make a noise.

She knew the person was up to no good

and she didn't want to suffer any more.

"I'm just at the end of my rope, dear Lord,"

she said,

"and I can't cope with anything else."

The person walked slowly

but still the hall floor creaked

as it always had

in her old house.

He went downstairs

pausing at each step

and she heard him going through cupboards

drawers

and she heard the little crashes

as he swept her dolls and figurines

out of her curio cabinet

and onto the carpet.

He came back upstairs

crept down to her bedroom

where she lay

stiff and frightened

holding back her cough

trying not to move her left foot

which itched something terrible

wishing it weren't such a dark night

when suddenly a flashlight blazed in her face.

She was frightened beyond anything she had ever known before.

Her heart beat like a triphammer

and sweat drenched her armpits.

Then the light went off with a click

and the robber turned away

and started opening her drawers

scooping out all her nighties and socks and undies

finding nothing.

"Don't let him kill me, Lord"

she prayed.

"But if he does, let it be quick

and not hurt much."

She opened her eyes a slit

and saw him go to the other dresser

and take all her jewelry

and stuff it in his pants and his pockets.

It was costume jewelry though.

Her good pieces were in a cedar box

on the shelf in her closet.

No sooner had she thought that

than he went over to the closet

but the hangers squeaked on the steel rod

which made him say the F-word under his breath

and back away from the closet.

He came back towards her

and she squeezed her eyes shut

and the sweat under her armpits

rolled down her sides

and her breath came short

but he didn't touch her.

Instead, he left the room

went back down the hall

back to the bathroom

and he was gone.

She laid there the rest of the night

unable to sleep

afraid to get up

in case he came back

while the clouds hung heavy

draping the night

and dogs barked

and cats called

and a siren went off somewhere

and she allowed herself a little cough.

On Christmas morning

she got up and put on her robe

and saw that the bathroom screen had been cut

and went downstairs

and looked at her souvenir dolls

the San Diego one headless

the Las Vegas one crushed by his foot

and she went down on her knees

and cried for Ed

and her broken dollies.

From somewhere she heard a radio

playing "Messiah"

and she sobbed for the nothingness

and scariness

of her life

without Ed.

After a while

she got up

and dabbed at her eyes

with the hem of her old blue robe

and went into the kitchen

and saw that he didn't get much

only the change in her sugarbowl

and a bottle of Wild Turkey that Ed

won at a raffle at the lodge

before he died.

"Thank you dear Lord"

she said

"that he didn't get much

and didn't slit my throat

or take a hammer to my head."

All of a sudden

she was overcome with exhaustion

dizziness

so tired that her legs couldn't hold her body up

so she had to lay herself down

on the cool linoleum

of the kitchen floor.

After a while

she said to the Lord

"I need help here.

I can't seem to get up."

And she felt His hands

gently help her up

and she leaned on Him

all the way into the living room

where she sat down on the couch

picked up the phone on the end table

and called her sister

and the police.

Music Playing: Hallelujah Chorus
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