Of course, as soon as I got back home

and plugged up the hole in my heart by seeing my kids

and accepted that Adam was going to marry Little Missy

I started wondering if I had made yet another mistake.

I couldn't get a teaching job.

I took a job selling baby clothes

at J. C. Penney's

and the pay was awful.

Money was tight.

I was hungry.

I answered every ad for English teachers

that I could find

and had good interviews

but in the end, they hired someone who could also coach football

or teach Drama.

I even begged my old Principal

who had liked me

for a job

but of course Room 219 was not mine anymore

and he had no openings

either now or in the foreseeable future.

I cried.

I kicked my couch

and tore out my hair

and pounded on the table

in my cheap little apartment

and was furious at the Lord

who I felt had deserted me.

If only He would just come right out

and tell me what He wanted me to do

and stop making me guess

and do stupid things

like leaving my job

and moving away

and then moving back!

Every day I went to work

disappointment and anger riding on my shoulders

and sold little bonnets and socks

to ladies with wailing babies

and longed to be sitting at my desk

in front of a roomful of hooligans

teaching.

I felt like a picture that had fallen out of its frame.

One day my sister told me

that a man she worked with

older than me by 10 years

but sweet and kind and respected at work

lived in the apartment building across from me.

I was still angry at the Lord

and wasn't interested in men

only teaching

but one day I needed a hammer

to hang up my teaching certificate

so I would never forget that I was a teacher

not a salesclerk

and I went over and knocked on his door

and he gave me a hammer

and followed me home

and hung my certificate up

and we got to talking

and went out on a date.

Later, he told me

that when I was in the kitchen

he looked at my legs

saw that they were good

and decided right then to take me out.

I laughed at him.

Men!

And then I started to feel better

with a few prime ribs under my belt

bought and paid for by him

Wes

and his shoulder to cry on

and whole days went by

where I forgot how angry I was at the Lord

and when Wes suggested I look for other work

I did so

and got a good-paying job

typing and filing in an office.

I still wanted to be a teacher

but not as bad.

I saw that the Lord was providing all my needs

just not my wants

but I was grateful.

Music Playing: Glorify the Lord
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