Closing her eyes for a moment, she pictured them in her bed, entwined about the other, loving each other. She sighed, almost able to feel his hands on her, the smell of his hair, the roughness of his beard on her skin, the sound of his voice in her ear. Shaking herself, she turned away from the bed and made her way down the steps. Bending over, she picked up her bag and started for the door.
The sound of a sharp knock stopped her dead in her tracks, her eyes now glued to the still activated security cam screen. Her heart lurched at the sight. Michael..
She breathed his name like it was a prayer, her knees weak from relief at seeing him there. Just as she was about to unbolt to the door, she stopped suddenly, dreading what she knew had to be. Saying goodbye to him. Taking a deep breath, she reached out to the handle and opened it.
Michael stood silently, dressed in his usual black from head to foot, hands in his pockets. His face was strangely drawn, heavy with hidden emotions as he stepped inside, closing the door behind him. Nikita shifted her gaze between his face and the floor, not sure of how to handle the situation.
I came to say goodbye.
He said in a voice that was raw, virtually inaudible.
Nikita half nodded, trying hard not to burst into tears. The sight of him before her and knowing she would most likely never see him again was overwhelming. Hesitantly at first, she moved forward, nuzzling her cheek to his and then turned her face to give him a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth.
Michael’s eyes closed, his emotions building up rapidly, as the sadness threatened to overtake what control he had left. He turned his face and caught her kiss fully with his own, his tongue darting out over the softness of her lips he had come to know so well. The kiss became more heated, and she lifted her hands to pull his coat down off his shoulders, letting it fall at his feet. Michael pulled her bag from her and set it on the kitchen counter, his mouth never leaving hers, savouring the feel of her, trying to memorize every nuance of her. How was he to let her go?
Where will you go?
He asked smoothing the hair back from over her naked shoulder as he lay on his side, cradling her spoon style against him.
Nikita nestled deeper in the covers, enjoying the feel of him wishing the moment would never end.
You shouldn’t ask me that Michael.
She said quietly resting her hand over his as he snaked in down and around to her flat stomach.
Michael kissed her shoulder, letting her comment go unanswered. He knew as well as she did that what she said was right.
I don’t know if I can do this Michael.
She finally broke the comfortable silence between them and turned in his arms to look at him with tear filled eyes.
Michael grazed his thumb over her eyebrow and cheek as he had done so many times in the past and nodded.
Yes you can. You have a chance to be free Kita. You can’t let that go.
Nikita shook her head, leaning into his touch, her eyes now too tear-filled to see clearly.
There is no true freedom if I can’t be with you. I would rather be dead.
She finished bitterly.
Michael gave her a small shake, forcing her to open her eyes and look at him.
Don’t ever say that.
Michael, I don’t want to leave you….
She began to cry, allowing him to draw her into her arms, rocking her slowly, his hands rubbing her back.
Nikita, you have a chance to be free. Take it. A life outside of Section is something the rest of us can only dream of.
He kissed her hair, leaning his cheek on it.
Do it for all of us. Live a life we can only dream of.
Nikita shook her head.
No, it means nothing to me if you’re not in it. It’s not my dream Michael. It isn’t.
Do it for me Nikita.
He whispered hoping she would respond to a personal plea instead of reason.
Nikita became still and pulled back, rolling onto her back and sat up. Michael looked up at her from the pillows, his hand still resting on the small of her now exposed back.
You really want me to go?
She asked fearing his answer.
Michael sat up, wrapping his arms around her tightly, leaning his head on her shoulder.
No, I don’t want you to go. You knew that though didn’t you?
Nikita sighed, looking down at the now empty apartment with mixed feelings.
I really hate leaving you,,, I love you Michel. I can’t imagine my days ahead without you…. Not to mention the nights.
She added glancing back to him as he sat back up beside her, both his hands now holding her in his lap.
He was grateful for his disheveled hair as it hid his smile at her confession of love. He knew she loved him as much as he did her, but it was wonderful to hear her say it aloud.
You have to go Nikita. We both know it.
Yes, I know….. But I hate it. Maybe we can see each other from time to time? Perhaps we could meet……..
As soon as she said it, she knew it wouldn’t happen. Section would never allow it. She had to face the truth, she had lost him forever.
Michael released her hand, swinging his feet down over the edge of the bed, bending down for his discarded pants.
Nikita clutched the bed sheet to her chest, watching the muscles ripple under his skin as he moved. Pulling the zipper up, he turned to face her, one hand going into his hair, pushing it back from his face.
I have to go. Section thinks I am on the way in.
How did you find out?
Michael shook out his sweater, pulling the arms back right side out.
Birkoff, he sent me a message.
He explained pulling the sweater over his head and tucking it in his pants.
Thank him for me.
She said accepting her top that he had picked up.
I already did.
Nikita smiled weakly and rose out of the bed, walking naked to the small bathroom under his appreciative gaze, closing the door after her.
Michael then went to the other side of the bed and picked up her pants and undies. He felt ill, the thought of losing her forever made him want to retch his guts out. She was the one thing that kept him sane in Section and facing it without her was unthinkable. It had taken several years for him to allow himself to acknowledge his feelings for her and now, she was being taken from him. He never felt more like the caged animal he professed never to be again then he did at this moment. His destiny was being ripped from him, controlled by those he hated the most and he knew deep down, he wouldn’t tolerate it for long. It was then he knew he would be with her again.. one way or another.
It had been 2 months since she had said goodbye to him. Two months since she felt truly happy. Two months since she felt love in her life. Two months of living her life looking over her shoulder wondering if Section would change their minds and bring her back.
Shifting gears of her bike, she peddled up the steep cobble stone street, breathing in the fresh cold Irish air. Northern Ireland was as beautiful as the book she had found in the library those many months ago. Section had given her plenty of money to get herself established somewhere and she knew she needed to pick a location that was as far away from him as possible. She steered around loose cobble and sighed, knowing no matter where she chose, it would never be far enough away from her Michael. A few gulls barked overhead, signaling a storm approaching from the east. Her eyes turned to look out onto the vast ocean below, it dark waters beginning to churn up white froth as the wind gradually picking up in intensity.
Nikita luv, would ye care for a cuppa before you get home my dear?
A cheery voice called out to her from just up ahead.
Nikita spotted the friendly form of Jerry Ashton, owner of the local bakery waving at her from his shop door. Nikita peddled towards him, giving him a wave. As she approached him, she saw his usual merry smile making his old grey eyes crinkle at the edges. He had been very kind to her since she arrived in the village and gave her employment almost right away as his part time cook and waitress. He was kind, generous to a fault and loved her like a daughter. Nikita had bonded with the older man instantly, feeling like she had adopted a father she had never had a chance to have.
In a lot of ways, he reminded her of Walter. Dear sweet Walter. She missed his smile, his way he managed to always make her feel special with that one word.
Sugar
Nikita parked her bike on the rack by the front of the shop and gave the man a smile, pushing her bangs back from her eyes.
I would love a cuppa,, thanks.
She grinned good naturedly giving him a quick hug and then step into the warm shop.
Jerry pulled the door closed; the small brass bell rang as it clanked on the glass. Setting her backpack on a chair, Nikita pulled down the zipper of her wind jacket, nodding her thanks as he set down a hot cup of tea on the table.
It’s going to be a nasty one tonight. Are ye sure ye kina make it all the way up that hill?
He asked going back to his big bowl of cake dough, stirring it briskly with a large wooden spoon.
Nikita sat down on the chair, one foot crossed over her other leg as she sipped on the tea.
I will be just fine. It’s not that far. You worry too much.
She said setting the cup back down, adjusting her necklace under her shirt. It was a small locket with a picture of Michael she had made. It was like having a small part of him near her and from that, Nikita drew comfort.
Jerry tsked at her, shaking his head.
I can’t help but worry,,,, something happens to you and there go my best customers in the mornings.
He chuckled when she gave him a false annoyed look.
Its not me and you know it... it’s all the cakes and cookies you bake. It’s like heaven in here in the mornings. If I didn’t have such will power, I would be fatter then a church mouse now.
They both laughed and spent the next 30 minutes chatting. Outside, it began to get darker and Nikita quickly made her exit after promising to be careful and biked the 15 minutes to her small house she rented. The first drops of rain hit the ground as she opened the door, steering the bike into the back porch. It was going to be a nasty night.
Michael sat at his desk, the pain in his chest was crushing yet he refused to give in and go to medical. His vest had saved him from certain death from a burst of gunfire earlier that day but had left heavy internal bruising. Bringing his hand up, he rested it lightly on his chest, eyes closing as he fought for a steady pain free breath and failed miserably.
A part of him wished the shots had indeed killed him. Living his life without Nikita was growing increasingly more and more difficult and keeping it from showing from the ever watchful eye of Madeline was nearing the impossible. Easing back in his office chair, he unbuttoned his black jacket and tried to stretch out the kinks without much success. He felt miserable.
A knock on the door made him sit upright again causing severe sharp pains to tear across his body.
Only his strict training enabled him from not showing it as Madeline walked in. Her dark eyes regarded him carefully, unable to pick up anything out of the ordinary.
The mission went well. Congratulations Michael.
She said crossing her slender arms over her chest.
Thank you.
Michael replied in a hushed voice, his face impassive as he stared back at her, waiting for her to continue.
How are things?
She asked cocking her head to the side.
Michael glanced out the window as he spoke.
Fine.
Was his simple answer. They stared at the other for a few moments before she went on.
Good. We were worried you wouldn’t do well without her.
Michael kept his eyes trained on hers, willing her to leave him alone. He knew what she was trying to do and he hated her all the more for it.
Madeline, turning to leave, paused at the door, and looked back at him over her shoulder, yet said nothing. Moment for moment, he met her gaze and was relieved when she finally left.
Placing the panel in his desk, Michael stood up, grimacing at the almost unbearable pain and made his way to medical for a much needed shot. Perhaps sleep would afford him the release from the torment he felt in his heart over Nikita.
Walter adjusted his bandana as he entered Weapons, whistling a tune from days gone by. He tried hard to not miss his sugar, but not getting her smiles everyday was wearing his spirits down. He was happy that she was free. Free of this hell called Section One. There was no life down in this place he had called home for the past 25 years. Life was what you made of your down time and Walter made the most of it.
He smiled, recalling how Michael had told him of his plans, threatening his very life he betrayed him in anyway. He chuckled glancing up at the perch seeing how much deeper Operations wore his scowl these days. Michael had been gone for 3 days now after finally finding her location with his help. An operative Walter had known for years lent his support, aiding them both from the outside. He had retired from Section 5 years earlier but had kept in touch secretly with Walter through the years. It was hard to say goodbye to Michael. In fact, it broke his old heart when he watched him turn and walk away from him but in his heart of hearts, he was satisfied knowing he had a small part in screwing Section over and at the same time, making his beloved sugar happy. He hoped Michael was safe, once more finding happiness with the woman they both loved.
Nikita woke up with a start, he heart pounding in her throat as she frantically groped her way out from under her covers. The same nightmare had plagued her dreams for almost a month. It always was the same. She was happy, Michael by her side living the life they both only had dared to dream of while still in Section. Everything was fine as they ate dinner when suddenly the door bursts down the room fills with the black clad forms of Section ops, guns trained in their faces. Michael tries to stop them from grabbing her and in slow motion, he is shot, blood spurting from his chest as he falls forward, hands outstretched to her as he tries to reach her, kicking and screaming as they drag her away.
Sighing, she laid back down wiping the sheen of sweat from her brow and glanced up at the small clock on the bed stand. Thankfully it was still early enough to have a shower and eat breakfast before going to the bakery for her usual shift.
Tossing the covers back, she swung her lean legs over the edge shivering at the shocking cold of the hardwood floors on her warm soles. The wind outside was howling making her want to crawl back into the warmth of the bed.
Fingering the locket around her neck, she raised it to her lips, kissing the locket reverently. Good morning my love. I miss you so much.
She whispered closing her eyes as she spoke, envisioning his face in her mind.
What are you doing right now I wonder… Are you thinking of me like I am thinking of you? Do you long for the touch of my hand as I long for yours?
Opening her eyes again, she let it drop from her hand and forced herself to her feet, padding over to the window, pulling the heavy lace curtain back. The sun was just rising giving the sky a peach and yellow hue, the ocean waters boiled up spraying froth and foam as the wind worked away at it.
Michael… are you still alive?
She murmured feeling the same old feeling of panic rise in her belly for that split second before she pushed it back down. She refused to think that way. If he were hurt, she would feel it.
Letting the curtain fall, she turned and lifted the hem of her nightie up over her head, tossing it onto the bed and walked nude to the bathroom just down the hall humming a tune looking forward to her job and talking with the locals.
Michael approached the small village where he hoped Nikita would be. It took a lot of searching, piggybacking on Section resources and being careful to make his log ins invisible and untraceable. Getting the help from Walters friend was the key to finding her though and he was grateful for the mans help. Walter refused to tell him much of the mans identity but reassured him, he was a friend as true as himself. Michael took the reassurance from Walter at face value. He trusted the older man almost as much as he trusted Nikita.
Gearing down the older citron car, he entered what appeared to be the downtown core. He pulled in a parking space not far from the bakery, the only place open at this early hour, looking forward to a hot cup of coffee. Turning the engine off, he reached into his jacket, fingering his gun tucked in its holder under his left arm, reassured it was there. Opening the door, he scooted out into the windy street and ran towards the shop. Pushing the door open, his nose was assailed by the heavenly fragrance of freshly baking bread, cookies and a million smells of various other confections.
Jerry looked up from his cookie dough and smiled at him.
G day sir. Will ye be wanting a cuppa this morning?
Michael pushed back the wild curls invading his eyesight with hands and nodded.
Coffee, black please.
He responded taking a seat with his back to the wall.
Jerry nodded and yelled over his shoulder.
Hey luv, got ourselves a cold man who be wanting a hot one.
Nikita appeared, giving Jerry a quick hug.
Going to the coffee maker, she picked up a pot and cup heading for the seating area. Looking up, she stopped dead in her tracks; her mouth fell open as the cup she held crashed onto the floor, shattering instantly.
Jerry looked up in concern, coming to her side with a cloth.
Are ye alright my dear? Ye didn’t cut yourself now did ye?
He asked checking her hand for any signs of blood.
Nikita snapped her jaw shut, shaking her head.
No, I am fine really.. I‘m sorry about the cup.
Her eyes remained glued to Michaels, his face calm as she tried to regain her senses.
Ah lassie, I don’t be a caring about the cup, its you I worry about.
He caught her look of shock over seeing the man who had entered and smiled, knowing instantly what ailed her.
He is a looker isn’t he? Snap out of it child, you’ll be looking daft soon.
He teased her not letting either of them know of his inner knowledge of them both and Section.
Nikita accepted the new cup from Jerry and walked to Michael setting the cup on the table.
Coffee?
She asked in a shaky voice, trying desperately to not launch herself into his arms and kiss him to death.
Michael gave her the faintest of smiles and nodded.
Yes, thank you.
Nikita placed herself between Jerry and Michael so that only he could see her face and began to pour the coffee.
Michael’s hand stole up the side of her leg, pressing his open palm on her buttock careful to make sure her apron covered it well.
Nikita blushed furiously.
How long is your shift?
He asked quietly reaching to the napkin dispenser to sop up the coffee she had spilled.
I work until 3 this afternoon. Go to this address and wait for me.
She set the pot down and quickly wrote her address on a napkin and then gave him her keys from her pocket.
Michael took the napkin and keys slipping them both inside his jacket.
Holding each others gaze for a moment,
Nikita then stood back upright and turned away to tend to the next set of customers her whole being screaming in joy yet felt the overpowering case of nerves. This was to be the longest shift ever.
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