TOO LATE FOR WHAT IFS – PART 5

Well, frankly I don’t know, but she is strong, young, and seems to have weathered the arrests and surgery remarkably well. All we can do is wait.

Michael stared hard at the small man before him, his eyes cold and expressionless making him all the more uptight.

Where is she? He asked finally looking about the large room but not seeing her.

Back there, last bed on the right.

Michael pushed past the doctor and strode purposely through the set of glass doors leaving the doctor to draw in a few shaky breaths before returning to his duties.

Approaching the drawn curtain, he paused for a moment and then entered. What he saw shocked him. Tubes seemed to be stuck in her prone still body from every possible orifice and it made him feel ill. Her face was white; her bandaged chest rose and fell with the help of the respirator she was on, and IV bags were in both her arms. The heart monitor beeped softly, a welcome sight in his eyes. Closing the distance between them,

Michael gingerly touched her hand, perturbed to find it cool to the touch. Looking about, he saw a pile of folded blankets on a gurney in the hall and grabbed it and took one. Shaking it open he draped it over her carefully doing his best to not disturb the many wires and tubes. Pulling up a stool, he sat close by her head; his hand touched her still bloodied hair, despairing at the frail sight of her. He should have known she might try to get herself killed. She had broke position and rushed into a nasty fire fight, saving the lives of 3 ops, but in the process, nearly killed herself. He wondered if it had anything to do with Belinda and Walters’s deaths.

Hello Michael. The sound of Madeline’s voice behind him brought him upright, his head turned slightly as if acknowledging her, but only in the most minimal of ways.

Coming up along the other side of Nikita’s bed, she looked down at the pale face of the younger woman and then over to Michael’s.

What happened out there Michael? She asked placing her hands behind her back, waiting for his response.

Michael stood up, straightening his jacket before answering. I gave a full report already. His eyes stared back at her, masking the hostility he felt for her.

I am aware of that.. I wanted to hear it from you. She shot back almost showing the impatience she was feeling at his cavalier attitude.

The two of them stood locked in a battle of wills, waiting for the other to break when the alarms went off over Nikita’s head. His eyes snapped up at the monitors, reaching for her hand, giving it a squeeze as the sound of the medical staff came running. The curtains were flung back and both of them were pushed aside rather unceremoniously aside allowing the staff to work on the deathly still body of Nikita.

A full hour later, Michael found himself seated at his desk, his eyes scanning over some Intel yet registering none of it. Letting out an almost inaudible sigh, he sat back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose in an attempt to ward off a nasty headache. He knew he was hopelessly distracted with the waiting for news of her condition. The looks on the staff faces told a story of doom.

How much more traumas could she endure, how many more arrests….. He thought to himself picking up the semi warm cup of coffee from his desk. Setting the cup back down, his mind wandered back over the past few days. He was stupid to not have picked up on the depth of her sadness over Belinda’s cancellation and the suicide of Walter. How long would it take him to accept the fact she wasn’t like he was? She still had a soul,,,, still had the capacity to love without conditions and rules….

Michael crossed his feet under the chair and let his head fall back, eyes closing as he rubbed his neck and shoulders in an attempt to ease the growing pain he felt.

Nikita…… He whispered her name as if wiling her to hear it, hoping he could draw her back to life, back to him.

The sound of his office door opening made him open his green eyes and sit up straighter. He cursed himself knowing he had allowed his true feelings show in his mannerisms as well as in his face but more that she had just seen it.

Madeline closed the door behind her and gave him the once over with her unreadable brown eyes, a false smile passed over her still beautiful features.

Headache? She asked coming over to sit down across from him, her slim legs crossing as she settled into the chair. When he failed to answer, she casually handed him a panel she had been holding in her hand, sliding it towards him on the desk.

I think you should prepare yourself if she dies Michael. The prognosis isn’t good.

Madeline regarded him with her trained eyes, trying to detect any further signs of how he was feeling. As usual, he was almost impossible to read. She admired him for his discipline and cursed herself for the efficiency in which she had trained him.

He took the panel she had offered and read the words that seemed to scream the impossible at him. She wasn’t lying. Nikita was near death and that fact made him feel like a lost child, helpless and lonely. Setting it back down, he laced his fingers together on his lap, staring hard at her, keeping any thoughts he had to himself for the time being.

Madeline looked out the window of his office, not surprised the blinds were almost closed. The fact he was distressed when she had walked in was as plain to see as was the fact he was now trying desperately to hide it from her even now. She smiled at how things seemed to be falling into place for her. Getting to her feet, she came around to stand behind him; her hands kneaded his shoulders gently. Michael tensed up at her touch, every fibre of his being now on alert.

You’re so tense Michael,,, this isn’t like you. She commented letting her fingers slide over the warmth of his skin, gently pushing the collar of his shirt down even more.

What do you want? He finally broke his silence, keeping very still under her expert touch.

Madeline arched her eyebrow at his blunt question but was pleased she wouldn’t have to make him guess for long. Leaning down, she moved his long loose hair from his ear.

The doctors want to let her go Michael…. But so far, I have said no. She let her hand glide down over his shoulder and slip just inside his jacket, palm resting over his chest, her sentence left upended and open for his own interpretation.

Michael’s mind clicked into high gear, realizing her proposition and it made him ill. Turning his head slightly towards her, their eyes met.

Madeline smiled as she ran her fingers through his silky hair, taking an almost perverse pleasure at the power she knew he knew she held over him. It isn’t too much to ask, is it?

He remained silent, waiting for her to make the next move. He didn’t have to wait long.

The Tower….. Tonight.

Her mouth grazed his cheek lightly and he forced himself to not pull away.

Eight o’clock. Don’t be late.

Madeline got to her feet and without so much as a glance back left him alone to deal with this new dilemma.

His services in exchange for Nikita’s life. The decision was easy. It was the task ahead that would be hard. Michael thought to himself the pain he now felt inside his head growing rapidly.

Kita……… His broken voice echoed in the quiet office as he gave in to the pain at last.