TOO LATE FOR WHAT IFS – CONCLUSION

Coming to her side, he touched her hand, noticing it was warm for the first time since she had arrived. Even her colouring was just a shade pinker. When he touched her hand, she shuddered, her eyes trying to open but with no success.

She will recover. It was Operations who stood quietly just off in the shadows.

Michael looked back at him, watching him as he came around to the other side of the bed.

Looking down at the prone Nikita, he looked up over at Michael’s carefully controlled expression.

Madeline was drugging her. I put a stop to it. Guess she really wanted you back. He added.

Michael looked away for a moment and then returned the older mans gaze with one of his own. I was never hers to want back.

Operations smiled, nodding. No, I don’t suppose you were, were you? One of the few I might add.

An uneasy silence passed between them

Well,,, I have a briefing with Center concerning this very situation. He turned to leave when he was stopped short by Michael’s voice.

Thank you.

Turning his head slightly, he nodded. Don’t thank me. In saving your reason for living , I might have lost mine.

Michael watched him disappear behind the curtains and once again, felt indebted to the man.

A moan from deep in Nikita’s chest managed to find its way out and catch Michael’s attention. Leaning over her, he kissed her forehead.

I’m here. He whispered looking down into her still face.

Nikita heard his soothing voice from somewhere in her foggy mind and found comfort for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime.

******ONE WEEK LATER******

Nikita shifted in the uncomfortable bed, turning onto her side mindful of the stitches under her ribcage and shoulder. Lunch was a nightmare, her stomach cramping up with the first semi solid foods she had managed to get down in almost 2 weeks making her feel even more miserable.

Pulling the white blankets up, she groaned softly as a chill went through her making her tense up her wounds. Waiting for the pain to subside, she closed her eyes; thoughts of a smiling Walter invaded her mind creating a flood of slow fat tears to course down her cheeks.

The sound of footsteps approaching made her wipe them away with the blankets edge and she pretended she was asleep.

The sound of the curtain moving could be heard, the metal rollers on the track it was attached to clacked noisily as it was slipped back in place. A scraping sound of a stool was brought close to her head and the mystery person sat down. A sudden waft of a very distinct scent alerted her as to whom it belonged and she opened her eyes.

I knew it was you even before I opened my eyes.

Michael brushed back her hair from her eyes after giving her a small peck on the cheek.

You had excellent training. He replied with a sense of humour he rarely showed.

Nikita laughed weakly, watching him take her hand in his carefully avoiding the tubing of the IV.

A small silence stretched between them as he stared down at her as if looking for any changes.

You missed a tear. He pointed out; his other hand came up and with his finger, touched the small wet trail on her cheek. Nikita frowned, giving a heavy sigh as she tried to pull her leg up to a more comfortable position.

The pain gets to me sometimes.

You can lie to them, but don’t lie to me. He said after a moment or two.

Nikita looked at him and then averted her eyes hating that fact he read her so easily. Obviously I need to work on masking my feelings better.

Michael rubbed her arm gently, leaning his elbow down on the mattress so their faces were close. Only with them Nikita….. Not with me.

I miss him,,, Her voice faltered as sadness washed over her once again.

I miss them both. Neither of them needed to die. What if I…. She paused, letting the sentence die when he gave her a small kiss on the mouth before pulling back upright.

Getting to his feet, she watched him place the stool back where it had been before and turn to look down at her.

It’s too late of what if’s Nikita. He touched her brow with his thumb, gave her one of his long blank looks.

Move on. He then turned, leaving her to her thoughts.

Shifting onto her back with great difficulty, she sighed, resting her hand over her eyes.

Yes,, it is too late for what if’s. She whispered feeling the warm salty tears begin again.