UNDENIABLE LOVE PARTS 1-5

Nikita sat up, shutting off her alarm, gulped and raced to the bathroom sick to her stomach. This was the third day in a row that she had done so. ‘It must be some kind of stomach bug,’ she thought to herself, not thinking about the fact that she was only sick with the supposed “stomach bug” in the mornings and later she was famished and eating heartily.

Life had really been strange lately. It had been 6 weeks since she said goodbye to Michael and Adam at the rail station. She had taken over as Ops and was slowly if not getting used too, then accepting the position.

Since Michael had left, all she had heard from him was an email saying they were safe and he could be contacted through this email address in case of an emergency.

She thought she had missed him the first time he left but this was even worse. Her heart ached for him and she was so lonely. Sure, she had Walter and Jason for whom she had requested and been granted his transfer back to section, but they were not her love. She also missed her father even though she had known him only a short time.

Walter was quite happy to have her in charge and she was making changes that seem to work. She did not run section with threats as the previous Ops had done but she did run it with a firm hand. Her associates knew her to be a fair but strict disciplinarian. They all worked as a team with Nikita having the final choice in a tied decision and it worked. The operatives felt that they were contributing to the safety of mankind. Sure there were a few who liked to cause trouble but they were handled quickly and efficiently. The torture twins were not very busy under Nikita’s reign. Still she could be tough if the situation demanded it.

She also worked with each new operative, finding his strengths and weaknesses and paired him up with another operative to compliment each other. This was working quite well and while there were more relationships going on out in the open, the operatives realized that they had to forget those relationships while on a mission.

Nikita did not miss going out in the field. She had grown quite weary of it before she moved to center and was then summarily sent back to section.

One situation Nikita was still trying to get used too was the fact that she was never alone. Being the new head of section, she was required to have bodyguards and take all the precautions necessary to keep herself alive. It was very stifling. She couldn’t even go for a walk in the park alone! The only place she had privacy was in her bedroom in the tower. She had moved in soon after taking over and had redecorated the entire suite. There were cameras everywhere in the tower now except for her bedroom and bathroom.

Walter had been a great source of strength in the past six weeks. She trusted him with her life and knew he would never betray her. Their relationship had only changed slightly. While in public, she was the boss but in private; he still called her Sugar and teased her.

Jason was becoming a dear friend too. Under all the skirt-chasing antics, he was a sensitive man who was becoming more and more like his brother. She trusted him and thought of him as a younger brother as she had Birkoff.

‘Well enough of this wool-gathering,’ she lectured herself, ‘time to get going.’ she felt much better now but was curious as to why her breasts were so sensitive. Maybe it was time for her monthly? When was the last time she wondered? She was never regular so it was not unusual for her to miss a month. She paused in dressing to get her palm pilot and check her calendar. She had her monthly a couple of weeks before Michael came back. ‘that must be it,’ she thought to herself. With all the upheaval she had been through in the last few months, it was no wonder her body was out of sync.

Glancing at the clock, she realized she was going to be late if she didn’t get going. She had a briefing in a few minutes with a new recruit.

She ran to her closet and grabbed an outfit. She had chosen a black pencil-thin skirt and black silk shirt under a matching waistcoat. The skirt was a little snug, which surprised her. ‘Guess i better cut down on the snacks,’ she thought to herself. She brushed her hair and quickly added a little mascara and lipstick to her flawless complexion. Slipping into her black pumps, she was out the door.

Heading to her office, she stopped by her assistant’s desk and requested breakfast. She was famished! She would eat after her briefing with the new recruit.

Nikita was just finishing up with the new recruit when her assistant brought in her tray. The smell assaulted her nose and she suddenly felt sick again! Luckily she was able to hold on long enough to get her office cleared before she flew into her bathroom and was sick.

Once she was finished and had freshened up, she was famished again and ate her meal with relish.

While eating, she had warning bells going off in her head. ‘Something is not right.’ she muttered to herself. Suddenly a stricken expression crossed her face! “Oh my god! no! It can’t be!” She so forgot herself she actually yelled. This brought her assistant and bodyguards blasting through her door.

After taking a few minutes to calm everyone down and convince them she was not in any danger, she again cleared her office and sat down to ponder this new revelation.

‘I’m pregnant!’ she exclaimed to herself. Deep down, she had known it but was pretending to herself that it couldn’t possibly be true. She knew it was though. That last time with Michael had been definitely unsafe. She had not reported to medical for her birth control because she was not planning to need it. With Michael gone, it was a waste of time in her opinion. Therefore their night together before he took Adam away had been unprotected.

Her first reaction was absolute fear and disbelief. Her next was a bubble of happiness that she carried Michael’s child.

Michael? She had to tell him! She could just imagine the happiness on his face when she told him. Then it hit her. She couldn’t tell Michael. He would be torn between coming to her and staying with Adam. She could not allow him to know about the baby because he would feel guilty no matter what he decided.

No, she couldn’t tell him. The thought broke her heart all over again. She lowered her head on her desk and cried.

A few minutes later, she had calmed down. She had to talk to someone but whom? Walter! He would be happy for her and would support her in any decisions she made. Of course, there was no decision to make as far as keeping the baby or aborting it. She would have this baby and raise it herself.

She would have to set up a nursery for the baby. There were so many plans to be made. She decided to tell Walter first and then get to work.

Nikita reached down to touch her still flat tummy. She just couldn’t believe it yet she knew it was true. She would have to get a checkup to make sure all was well. She wouldn’t risk her (their) child’s life.

She sighed and reached over to push the intercom button that connected her to munitions. “Walter, could you come to the perch please?”

“Sure thing, be right there,” was his cheery response.

Nikita pressed the button to darken the windows. She wanted no witnesses.

“Hey, Sugar – oops, I mean Ops!” he corrected himself, “What’s up”?

“Walter, I’ve told you that when we are alone you may call me Sugar, just be circumspect when we are with anyone else.”

“I understand….Sugar,” Walter teased bringing a smile to her face for a few seconds.

She then became serious and asked him to sit down. “I have something to tell you, “ she paused, then looked him in the eyes and said, “Walter, I’m going to have a baby!”

Walter jumped up with a gleeful expression. “A baby? Oh Sugar, that is wonderful!” he said as he ran around the desk to hug her.

Nikita hugged him back. She knew he would be happy for her. “I can’t wait to tell everyone! They will be so happy for…” he stopped suddenly when he saw her shake her head.

“Walter, you must keep this quiet!” Nikita warned him sternly.

“Sugar, it won’t be long before everyone knows,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I realize that but I have to make some decisions first before everyone is told.”

Walter looked concerned and stuttered, “You…you.. woo…wouldn’t kill the baby would you?”

“Of course not! I will have this child!”

A look of relief crossed his face. “Well I really didn’t believe you would harm the child but it’s going to be rough for you trying to be a mother and run section. I will do all I can to help. I can’t believe it! My first “grandchild!” When are you going to tell Michael?”

Nikita was smiling at the mental picture of Walter with the child when his remark made her frown. “I don’t plan to let Michael know. There is nothing he can do. He must stay with Adam and raise him!”

“Sugar, you can’t do that! it’s not fair to you or Michael or the baby! If you tell him, he’ll return and you need him now!”

“I can’t take him away from Adam, Walter! Adam has been through so much… no, I will have this child and raise it myself. I have to make plans on how this can be done in section but I will keep my child! This child is a part of Michael and me and there is no way I would give it up or destroy it!”

“Sugar, I think you are wrong about this! Why…” Walter continued but was startled into silence by the passion in her voice.

“I can’t do this to him Walter. It was bad enough losing Adam for a time. He has him back and he must be left alone to raise his son in peace! I will not have it on my conscience that I took him away from Adam!”

“But Sugar, he can bring Adam with him!”

“Walter would you condemn poor Adam to live this life?”

“Well your baby will,” he reminded her.

‘Yes I know.” she paused then continued, “I can only hope that one day the child will forgive me for bringing it into this life.” she said sadly.

Walter gave up. He could see she was set in her mind about this. He had an idea though. Sugar might be mad at him at first but he could not let her go through this alone. She needed Michael!

He left her office heading for comm to find Jason.

“You do realize that she may be mad enough at us to have us canceled?” Jason asked with a frown and nervous look over his shoulder up at Ops’ perch.

“Not my sugar,” Walter declared, “She may be angry at first but she needs him and she will eventually see that,” he concluded confidently.

“Well I hope you are right,” Jason continued, “I’ll do it but you better not let her know how you got his email address although I’m sure she’ll figure it out eventually!” He concluded pessimistically.

“Don’t worry about that, just find his email address. I know she has it because she mentioned to me once that she had an address for him for emergencies and this is definitely an emergency!”

‘Ok, I’ll look for it tonight. I will hack into her computer and get the address. Do you want to come back tonight and I’ll give it to you? We have to wait until she leaves for the day so that she won’t catch us red-handed!”

“Yeah, I’ll be back around 9. Thanks, Jason, I owe you for this!” Walter said and then turned to head back to munitions whistling to himself.

“Did you find the address?” Walter said as he walked up to Jason, startling him.

“Geeze! You scared me half to death! Yes I just found it. I didn’t think she was ever going home for the night!”

“Ok, let’s do this!” Walter said excitedly. “I am just going to tell him I need to speak with him. This is not something you tell someone in an email. I’ve written it down. All you have to do is type it in and send it on its way,” he finished digging into his back pocket for the message.

Michael turned on his computer. He had finally gotten Adam to bed and was planning to relax. He thought he’d check his email first. Maybe this time she’d left him a message.

It seemed an eternity since that day in the rail station when in reality it was only 6 weeks. He had taken Adam to Greece and no one knew anything about them except that his wife was dead and he was raising his son alone.

He sighed. Once again the guilt hit him when he thought of Elena. He cared for her, how could he not as she was the mother of his child, but he never loved her. His heart had been first Simone’s then Nikita’s. The love he had felt for Simone could not be compared to his love for his Kita. He wondered how she was doing. She would be a good leader for section and would run it with compassion. If only things had been different and she could have joined them in Greece.

Michael’s attention was captured when he heard the familiar, “You have mail!” He quickly checked to see if it was from Nikita. No, it was from Walter. Walter? Where did he get this address? Surely Nikita hadn’t given it to him. No, she wouldn’t do that. Please god, don’t let there be something wrong with Nikita, he silently pleaded. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and opened the email.

‘Michael, I need to see you. It’s very important. Nikita is fine but something has come up that I need to discuss with you. Could we meet?’

Michael breathed a sigh of relief. Nikita was all right. What was going on?

He replied to the email.

‘Yes, meet me at the dock on my old boat. You know the location. I’ll be there, Friday at midnight. Walter, I am trusting that this is not some kind of trap. You don’t want to face me again if it is. M.’

Michael sat back, his mind whirling. What was so important that Walter had to get Jason to hack into Nikita’s private PC for his address? Nikita would be furious if she found out and rightly so. Oh well, he’d find out in a couple of days.

Seeing he had no other mail, Michael shut down his computer. He decided to have some wine, relax in front of the fire and read a while. He would not stay up too long, as Adam would rise early.

He went into the kitchen, got an opened bottle of wine and a glass and headed to the easy chair beside the fireplace. He reached for the book but paused as he let his eyes roam over their home. It was small home, but plenty big enough for the two of them or the three of them, he thought sadly.

The house was an old two-story barn that they had chosen, situated on a large wooded lot that the previous owners had started to convert into a home. It was small, but cozy for them both, with plenty of work. Michael was continuing the job with Adam’s "help". Which enabled them to get to know each other again. It was slow going but it was satisfying to see what he could do with his hands.

As he relaxed into his chair, his mind turned as it always did to Nikita. How he missed her! He thought back to the time she had saved him from cancellation. His heart broke when she told him she had never loved him. The blood tear was to let her know how deeply she had cut him.

It took only a day or so to realize she had lied. While she might be quite talented as an actress on their missions, he knows she wasn’t faking it when they made love. She had told him in so many ways that she loved him. He had been too hurt to think things through and just wanted to get away from the pain she had caused with her words. Once he settled down and started thinking with his brain instead of his heart, he realized she had lied to give him his freedom. She knew he would never have left otherwise and would be cancelled for real the next time.

This only made him love her so much more. The one thing she had so desired, she had given to him because she loved him and wanted him to be free.

The night he finally started thinking straight and figured all this out, he started making plans to go back and get her. He would also find out where Adam was and make sure he was safe.

His plan had worked but in following through with it, he had put Adam’s life on the line. He had returned to section, foiled the Collective’s terrorist plot and found Nikita again.

He thought back to when she walked into her room to find him there. The sexual tension between them was very evident during the mission. Later in her room, they’d stared at each other for a long minute and then she uttered those two words that broke the binding around his heart. “I lied.” His heart had leapt and started to race. As he walked over to her. His eyes were telling her that she was his and would be forever. That night their love was so strong and pure, it cleansed away the last bit of pain from their separation. The made love and cried together. She comforted him and he comforted her. It was as if no one else existed but them.

Of course, reality struck swiftly and painfully. Adam had been taken and operations had been killed trying to save him! His parting from Nikita was again a painful one. She was trying to be brave but could not prevent the tears rolling g down her cheeks. He knew he would not live much longer and had to say goodbye to her. It was the hardest thing he had to do in his life but he could not let his innocent son be injured or killed for his father’s sins.

Then to learn that he was not to be tortured and killed. Instead he was to bring Nikita’s father to them. He knew he could never do that to Nikita. But he had to grab her father and come up with a plan that would keep both her father and Adam alive.

When he overpowered her father’s bodyguard, she once again trusted him enough to let him do what he had to do. She had faith that he wouldn’t kill her father.

Her father had died anyway and he regretted that she had to endure the pain from her grief alone. He wanted to help her through her grief like she had done for him when he was so grief-stricken at loosing Adam.

Nikita would not have wanted him to stay though. She knew Adam needed a safe and happy environment in which to grow up. He would be with her one day!

Michael gave a yawn and decided to go to bed. He would have to put his curiosity on hold until Friday night.

The seagulls where fussing over bits of food left by the fisherman while the you could hear the clang of a bell blowing in the wind and the sound of the waves lapping against the dock were the only sounds Walter could hear as he walked the dock to get to Michael’s old boat.

Being cautious was second nature to anyone at Section so Walter looked through the weather-worn window in the door before slowly opening it. “Michael,” he called, “Are you here?”

“Come in and close the door, “ Michael said quietly. Walter still couldn’t see him in the darkness of the boat.

“Sure thing!” Walter said uneasily. He was not stupid and knew it would be unwise to make any sudden movements until Michael realized he was alone and unarmed. “I’m not armed and I came alone,” he volunteered.

“Good,” Michael replied as he stepped from the shadows to Walter’s right, causing Walter to jump.

‘Hey man! Don’t scare an old man like that,” he joked. He hadn’t even realized Michael was so close beside him.

Michael ignored this remark and got straight to the point. “Why did you need to see me?”

Walter chuckled slightly, “Michael, you never change. No pleasantries, just get to the point!”

At a look from Michael, he continued. “Ok, ok. I … I just don’t know how to tell you this but to come right out and say it.”

“Then do so,” Michael stated, starting to show signs of impatience.

“Sugar is gonna be mad at me but I felt you had a right to know and she needs you no matter what she thinks.”

“What is wrong with Nikita? Michael asked harshly. ‘Oh God please let her be all right! ‘ he pled silently.

“Sugar is carrying your child!” Walter said bluntly.

There was no physical reaction from Michael but his eyes lit up with pure emotion. “Nikita… is .. pregnant?” he asked unbelievably. “But how?” he muttered to himself but Walter heard him anyway and answered.

“Michael, I know you don’t need for me to explain that to you!” Walter remarked with a grin.

This earned him a disgusted look and then Michael turned away from him. “Why did Nikita not contact me herself about this?”

Walter saw the anger building, by the tenseness in his shoulders, and tried to smooth it over. “Hey, man, she was not going to tell you because she feels you need to be with Adam. She didn’t want to tell you because she knew you would go to her. She was concerned for Adam as his life has been rife with violence and loss. She is stubborn enough to believe she is doing the best for all involved.”

‘Of course,’ Michael thought, ‘She would think this way. That’s Nikita’s way – to sacrifice herself for others. How dare she think she was doing the right thing by keeping me from our child! I am going to have to set her straight on a few truths!’ To Walter, he said, “ I have plans to make and execute before I can go to her. Go back and keep quiet about our meeting.”

“No need to worry about that, buddy, she’s gonna have my hide for contacting you. I plan to stay away from her for a while when she finds out.”

“How is she Walter?” Michael asked.

Walter could see the love for Nikita in Michael’s eyes and his concern. “She misses you very much. She has made many changes to Section and everyone is so much happier. There is still a long way to go but her father was right, she was born to the job. As for her health, she has morning sickness that passes and then she’s starving." He paused and met Michael’s eyes, “Sugar is thrilled but scared about the baby. She is intending to raise the child herself at section. She needs you, Michael, Oversight is not going to be thrilled about her pregnancy but she has enough clout that they can’t do anything about it.”

Michael nodded, “But they will try. Walter, Go back and keep an eye on her. I will contact you when I am coming to her. I have to find someone to care for Adam until we get this settled.

Walter stepped up and shook hands with Michael. “Good to see you again, Michael. How is Adam doing and how are you doing?” he dared to ask.

“Adam is well. He is a resilient child and is coping very well. "

Walter noticed that Michael ignored his second question but decided not to take him to task on it. “Well I’ll be on my way. Go to her as soon as you can, Michael. Sugar is brave and capable but should never have to go through this alone. She’s got me and Jason on her side but that’s not the same as having you there.” Realizing Michael had nothing more to say to him, he left and headed back to Section.

Michael stood where he left him, deep in thought. ‘Nikita is having our child! ‘ he thought happily but then sobered when he realized what this meant. How was he going to be there for Nikita when Adam still needed him?

Michael waited patiently in Nikita’s bedroom. Walter, with Jason’s help, had sneaked him in and made sure there was no record of it on the cameras.

It had been a week since he had met with Walter. He spent that week looking for someone to care for Adam until he and Nikita could make their plans. Michael had found a nice, older couple to stay at the house and care for Adam.

Now he could go to Nikita. He still felt a thrill every time he thought of Nikita and the baby. In his mind, he pictured Nikita, heavy with their child. She would be even more beautiful if that was possible. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening.

He moved to the shadows, just in case, it was not Nikita.

Nikita was tired. It had been a long day. She was also starving. She thought about ordering a pizza and then reminded herself that she needed to eat better for the baby. She decided to change clothes and then cook herself some eggs and toast.

Nikita opened the door to her bedroom, starting to unbutton her blouse. Two steps into her bedroom, she realized she was not alone. She reached for the gun stuck in her waistband then stopped suddenly when she heard his voice, “Nikita, it’s me.”

“Michael?” she questioned, not really believing what she was hearing.

Michael walked out of the shadows into the light, then paused about 5 feet from Nikita.

“Michael!” she cried, running and throwing herself into his arms. She hugged him tightly and then reached up to touch his face. “It is you,” she said, dropping her face to his shoulder and promptly bursting into tears.

“Kita, shhh … it’s ok, I’m here,” Michael soothed and held her until she regained control.

Embarrassed at her outburst, she sheepishly met his eyes and apologized, “I’m sorry. I got your shirt all wet. I don’t know what has gotten in to me,” she began when Michael spoke.

“It’s perfectly normal behavior for a woman carrying a child,” he stated quietly.

At his words, Nikita stiffened and moved away far him. “You know? How?” Suddenly her eyes flashed fire and she exclaimed, “Walter!”

“Take it easy, Nikita. Walter was only doing what he thought was best.” He paused until she looked him in the eyes again and asked, “Why didn’t you tell me yourself? Were you planning to ever tell me or keep me away from our child forever?” he spoke even more quietly, a sign he was angry.

“Michael, I … I thought I was doing what was best for everyone. I don’t want you torn between Adam and the new baby. I am going to raise the child myself. I’ve already decided how I can do it. I’ve even spoken to Oversight. While they are not happy about it, they agreed…” she babbled until Michael spoke her name.

“Nikita, you are not going to keep me from our child. To think you would even consider it,” he continued quietly. She could see the hurt in his face and felt even worse.

“Michael, I wasn’t not telling you to hurt you. I wanted you to focus on Adam. He needs his father, especially after all he’s been through lately.”

“And what about the child? Does this child deserve less?” he asked.

Nikita looked stricken. “Michael, I can’t give you this baby after it’s born! I need to have this part of us with me. I know I’m being selfish but I just can’t bear to let the baby go!”

“I’m not asking you to give up the child. Adam and I are coming to you. We will all live together here.”

Nikita shook her head, “Michael you can’t bring Adam to Section. It’s unfair to make him live this life.”

“Nikita, all other families have a home life and a work life where Mother and Father go off to work. We will be the same way. Maybe our children will be guarded a little better than most but they will not realize this. We need not tell Adam or the baby anything about Section until they are old enough to understand.”

She looked at him sadly. “I so wanted you to have the freedom that I’ll never have. That’s why I was not going to tell you about the baby. I wanted you and Adam to have a happy life, to be free and safe.”

“ There is no happiness without you,” he said quietly. “I love you. Adam loves you. He even knows about the baby and is excited to have a little brother or sister.”

Nikita felt a little ray of hope began to glow in her heart. “But what about you, Michael? What will you do?”

“You don’t have a second in command. How about me? I have no desire to go out in the field again but I wouldn’t mind helping you run Section. I’ve been hearing good things about what you’ve done so far. Maybe I can help you do even more.”

Nikita’s eyes lit up as her heart finally accepted that she could have Michael with her and the baby as well as sweet little Adam. “It’s true,” she said slowly, “We can be a family. Oh Michael!” she cried and reached from him again. She hugged him and then leaned back just far enough to kiss him.

The kiss started out slowly and sweetly. It was a kiss of promise – a promise that they would be together. It quickly turned to passion but they were interrupted when her tummy decided to growl loudly. They broke the kiss, Nikita laughing and Michael giving her one of his rare smiles.

“We’re hungry,” she announced.

“How about I cook us an omelet if you have the ingredients?”

“Ooh! Sounds wonderful and yes, I do have the ingredients. I’ve been eating better for the baby. The doctor said if I didn’t, the baby would be underweight and unhealthy. Our child will be born healthy,” she declared.

Michael’s eyes lit up, “Our child, our children,” he said with satisfaction.

“Is our dream coming true, Michael?” she asked softly.

“As much as it can in our circumstances, yes. We will make the best of our lives and care for our children. We even have a retreat in Greece to go to when things get too much or we just want a vacation.”

Her stomach rumbled again, reminding them it was time to fix dinner. Nikita told Michael to stay in the door for a minute instead of coming out. She then walked out of the bedroom to the living room and opened a drawer in the coffee table. There she found the switch to the surveillance in her home. She turned it off. She wanted to spend this time with Michael without witnesses.

“Ok, all clear,” she announced.

Michael came up to her and suggested she change into something more comfortable while he started their omelet.

“After dinner, I’ll show you around and you can see how I was setting up for the baby,” she told him. “There is plenty of room for you and Adam too. Nikita smiled happily at him and went into her bedroom to change while Michael went to the kitchen to prepare the food.

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