Tch.
...
Elijah Wood: "Well... you know... I started reading it when we got to New Zealand, but the movie just took over. I don't know. It seemed kind of redundant."
America... I hate you.
And on that note, I just thought I'd let you know that, despite my promises, I'm stopping off the site again for awhile. I'm on hiatus while my medication takes effect and I'm no longer a threat to myself.
Anywho, let's crunch the numbers so you can understand why I'm taking a break.
Imagine all the people I know.
Uh-huh. Thought it'd be more than that, huh?
No? Well... You eat my ass you dumb stupid son of a bitch. I'm more likable than you will ever be you repulsive gutter filth, and I hope that someday you drown in your own dirty vomitous scum face-up in the street so that the last thing you see is the blade of my glorious wit tearing apart the unworthy mesh of stupidity that is your brain as you slump over trembling with inferiority... you disgusting garbage.
Anyway... I'm the most likable guy I've ever met. I just... don't know a lot of people.
Then, let's take into account that I've alienated most of the people I know with one of the most subtle faux pas of our time: unwavering hatred.
There are now only a handful of people who aren't too busy to look at this site to see what I've got to say, occasionally.
However:
1. My brother doesn't count.
2. My grandma could be a pro boxer before she could use a computer.
So what's left? Occasional encouragement from Jon Cott, and the sad sad sighs of Julia as she stares wistfully out the window and wonders what might have been.
So... I'll be back in a few weeks, I guess.
Oh, I don't mean to make you feel like I don't appreciate your time if you do look at this site. I really do. I just... you know. I tend to have a self-deprecating take on... everything. So... you know.
One last thing before I begin my Walden-time. This Liz Phair girl has to be the least talented singer I've ever heard in my whole life. Who is she? What is her deal? Is she talented in some way? Why the hell is she famous? I'm not being a rhetorical genius... I'm really just unaware of pop-music... because so much of it is moronic.
I'm not doing this anymore!
It's a new year, and I'm cutting off a relationship of toleration.
That's right. You. I don't want to name you, but... come on. You know what I'm talking about. You must at least suspect it. I don't see you too often, but I sort of know you. I actually know you through another person, but I've had the misfortune of having been forced to spend time with you. You're younger than me. Uh-huh. So, grow up. Everything that comes out of your mouth is reactionary garbage... you're a pop-culture addicted sheep not smart enough to have the capacity to have opinions of your own. You just regurgitate cliches and vomit a constant stream of banality coded in trendy slang, you brainless retard. I'm not putting up with your infantile stupidity anymore, and the fact that you consider yourself an intelligent person defies any semblance of sanity and logic I might have thought the universe would have. In our situation, you need my approval, but I most certainly don't need yours. I don't like you, don't try to talk to me anymore, we can get along just fine that way.
Oh, wait, no... I'm just kidding. I wasn't really talking to anyone... Did it work? Hahahaha... I'm a jerk, I know. I just put out a bunch of vague descriptors that only mostly exclude a few people like Christopher and Julia like "know you through an acquaintance". Most people I don't know directly and most of the people I know are younger than me. Ahh, if only I could somehow collect test data on people's reactions to things like that... It would be interesting if everyone thought I was referring to them, and it would be equally interesting if NObody thought I was referring to them.
So, I'm sorry I haven't had a lot of entertainment up lately (see image at right). I'll get around to scanning my artbook soon so you can see the Greatness of my Creative Genius! Next time. For now, happy New Year. If your New Year's Resolution includes something pretentious, I'm going ahead and issuing you a preemptory "go to hell you stupid asshole."So, go to hell, you stupid asshole.