...until they resemble merriment!
for having Christmas time come 'round,
for 'neath December's jolly smile
a paradox is to be found.
It seems some people think that Christmas
is a farce and just a pain -
Or just another lucky opportunity
for social gain.
I know this holiday is... well... no longer pure,
as it once was
Barnes & Noble Books and Macy's really are
the festive ones,
but I think that we need to not let Christmas
only stress us out.
I don't think pain and agony are what
this day is all about.
One infamous example (and I know, of this,
St. Nick takes pride)
is that there is a common trend
'twixt Christmas stress and suicide.
Shower your friends with gifts!
Give things to everyone! Make bare your shelves!
Then think about how lonely you
will always be... and shoot yourselves!
For 'tis a magic season when
all people love instead of fight...
And those who cannot cope can
simply cry themselves to sleep at night.
This isn't quite what I have come to
know and love of Christmas day.
It seems the Christmas I had known
when I was young is far away.
Of course Christmas is stressful,
it's a big responsibility,
and lots of us aren't comfortable with
ALL our friends and family,
But somehow even though this time
seems set up for disaster
and that the pace of every year just seems
faster and faster,
if you let the spirit take you and forget
the stress and misery
and let the day express your kindness
and your generosity...
When you give people things to make them happy,
not to get it done...
When have parties not to show your house,
but just to have good fun...
When all the decorations are expressions of
your spirit,
and not the other way around...
You'll find that when you hear it
said that "Christmas is so stressful,
but I'm glad I'm almost done."
You won't get it for a moment
for having had so much fun.
Because when you are treating enemies like friends
and friends like brothers
and when your infectious "do-gooding"
spreads to many others
You'll find, however things may go, you'll wind
up pretty happy,
...even if your Christmas party turned out, really,
pretty crappy,
...and your kid was in a Christmas play,
but wasn't quite the star,
...and your wife, through your gifts, found out
what an idiot you are,
...and your kids will never, NEVER, be
as quiet as a mouse,
...and you bought so many gifts, they'll prob'ly
reposess your house,
...and you had a bit too much while at
your office party and
while you were driving home you swerved
and hit and killed a homeless man,
...and your wife has become pregnant with a
kid you can't afford,
...and you realize you donated
the money that you've stored,
...and your oldest son decides he wants to
go out for ballet,
...and you realize that it was prob'ly YOU
who made him gay,
...and people cry and love is crushed and doves die
every day,
...and you realize that it is always
going to be that way,
...and you realize that your idea of Christmas was
naive...
...well... despite those being times when any
normal man would grieve.
You'll resist the urge to end it all and
just ignore the voices.
You'll know, even in asylums,
you've a million different choices
...and just because the court decided
that you were a threat,
...and the claim you filed to be deemed "sane"
has not been processed yet,
...and the tranquilizers that they shoot
to quiet all your screams
have a dangerously high amount
of methamphetamines,
you'll realize you've got it good.
your nurse is a good man,
and you're always safe because they keep
sharp objects from your hands,
and the cafeteria serves turkey Christmas night,
and hey,
regardless of the fact they serve that turkey
every single day,
you'll be thankful for your relatives and
thankful for your friends, and
you'll be glad to have your life that seems to
never...
NEVER...
end.
Just kidding, everyone.
Merry Christmas to you and yours!