2/18/05 - Ok ladies, it's time for the GRATUITOUS NUDITY! You supply the nudity, and we supply the gratuity! - Bone My Chauffeur
11/15/04 - That's right, NummyMuffinCoocolButter! Yes, you are, little nummy. Isn't he cute, Frank? I...it outdoes the kitty cat, runs circles around the Easter Bunny and makes Snuggles the fabric-softening bear look like Penn Jillette. - Dr. Forrester MST3000
11/4/04 - Teller: Will you shut up?
Homer: Hey, I thought you never talked.
Teller: Uh, I didn't mean to. Heh, it just slipped out. Oh, God, now Penn's gonna beat me.
Penn: Ha ha, folks it's all part of the act.
Teller: No it isn't. Don't leave me alone with him!
Penn: You've ruined the act! I'm gonna kill you!
Teller: He'll do it. I'm not the first "Teller".
9/7/04 - The foolishness of that comment is so deep, I have to ascribe it to higher learning. You have to have gone to college to say something that stupid.
3/28/04 - I'm a cop and I live with my parents. I'm on a constant diet of human suffering. - Robert Barrone, Everybody Loves Raymond
3/5/04 - Treason is charge invented by winners as an excuse for hanging the losers. -Benjamin Franklin 1776
12/4/03-Ah, the revolution! Starting in the most unlikely of places: Trump Casino, Atlantic City! -Penn Jillette
4/25/02-Oh alcohol, would you please forgive me, for while I cannot love myself, I'll use something else.
4/21/02-When in doubt, duck. When certain, don't bother, you're screwed anyway.
4/9/02-Trust is a greater compliment than love.
4/7/02-It ain't burnt, it's cajun. - Kenny Davis, when asked about a burnt bowl of cornflakes.
3/30/02-An intelligent person doesn't have all the answers but knows where to find them.
3/22/02-I used to collect maps...but I quit after the last Ice Age, the latest continental shift and those two dozen Empires and Kingdoms being destroyed.
3/16/02-I'd love to come on and be happy, but my phantom goldfish are currently in another dimension.
3/14/02-Great minds discuss ideas.... average minds discuss events.... shallow minds discuss people.... which are you?
2/1/02-Life is not to fear, life is to enjoy.
1/26/02-Querer es poder-To want is to be able to
1/22/02-Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
1/21/02-I tried sniffing coke once but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.
1/18/02-If pro is the opposite of con, then isn't progress the opposite of Congress? Just a thought.