Rumors From the Sky
Out on the plains of a long deserted highway connection stood an abandoned airport and a recently built top-secret location of a biosphere. It had been two months before new supplies were taken out there. Although there were sparse signs of civilization, there were only three long-term residents, a diverse bunch that included an old mad scientist, a historian, and a quiet astronomer. The mad scientist, only known as Dr. George, tended to be a bit eccentric at times. The historian was much younger and was tall with jet black hair. His name was simply Lurch. The astronomer was an odd member of this team named Igor, strange because Igor was a girl. It had been two months since anyone had been out to what was, in code, called "Hell's Basin". They drove up to the entrance to check all the locks, making sure that no one had tampered with them since the last time they were there.
"Did you hear how he talked to me in the van?" Lurch complained.
"I heard. I paid no attention," Igor answered. They were bringing out sealed crates from the back of the van. Dr. George disappeared into the odd futuristic looking building.
"You know what would be funny?" Lurch then said.
"We didn't bring everything?"
"No, no." Lurch paused and checked around the corner of the van. "We could give him a heart attack."
"O.K. but I'm not putting the lights back together if you blow up another fuse-box," Igor said as she dropped a crate. "I hope that wasn't the one with the lens." After a while, they were sitting in the dark. Lurch was repairing some wiring and a couple of fuse holders while Dr. George, holding an ice pack to his head, was talking with them. A small lantern kept the area lit. "My niece is coming out here," Dr. George informed them.
"You have a niece?" Lurch asked.
"Yes, she's basically being grounded for hacking the hell out of every bootlegged video system pirated from all over the world, and circulating game codes so that anything legal on the market is pretty much obsolete."
“So why send her all the way out here to Hell's Basin? Is she in hiding?" Igor asked.
"Her parents just want the heat to die down. She didn't do anything illegal. They're just sending her to stay with me," Dr. George concluded.
“That is punishment." Igor sighed. “No wonder she's screwed up. You kept threatening to take her to church when she was younger." Lurch put in.
“You’re such a Satan worshipper." Igor added as she and Lurch gave each other a high-five.
The next day there came the newest visitor to Hell's Basin, Dr. George's niece Jersey_Hacker AKA Sketch. She wasn't quite alone. Her entourage included her friend, Ben, her pet, a mean-looking tarantula, her distant cousin, Mole, and a rather impressive computer system. "Where do we set up?" Sketch asked casually, as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on. Lurch and Igor weren't too sure about any of this. Sketch's friend, Ben Mathieu, smiled as he hauled a small satellite dish with all the numbers scraped off of it and a barely distinguishable NASA logo on the side. Mole headed for the store and let the pet tarantula out of its cage.
The few sources of energy they could get in Hell's Basin were a massive set of tanks that held enough underground pressure to heat the place. For the small electrical grid, they secretly ran off the main power sources outside their restricted areas. The airport was a good cover, since no one in the power company knew that it had been empty for over five years. They even used the airport's radar equipment whenever the mood struck them. The tanks needed new valves and checked overall. Igor always had to do the dirty work, and whenever the mood struck Lurch he'd shake the ladder when she was at the top. Igor once told Lurch that one day she would get him up that ladder and he'd be wearing a dress. Lurch laughed but didn’t notice the serious, determined gleam in her eyes.
Ben helped Sketch set up all her equipment as they talked quietly to one another. "There's a storm on the way," Igor told them as she walked by with a supply of dry-meals for the mess hall.
Ben paused. He started speaking in a smooth, alluring tone. "Yeah...we'll be stuck out here, have to survive on sheer instinct. Who knows, someone could end up backed into a corner....or even worse."
"That is the plan," Igor said with an equally smooth tone. As Igor went out of the room, Ben and Sketch stood for a moment and gave a blank look towards Igor's direction.
"She's yanking our chain!" Sketch tapped Ben on the shoulder and went back to the task of unloading her things.
"Yeah, but....why is her name Igor?"
"Oh come on, ya didn't want her to grow a hunch in her back, did you?"
"No. ....well, maybe." Igor walked by them again with the same crate.
"There's a storm on the way," she said absently, going into the same room she had just emerged from only moments ago.
Lurch and Igor hid behind an air vent opening, laughing quietly together. "So, how are we going to scare them?" Igor wondered.
"Not now, not now, just a little deja vu, to get the juices going...if you'll just go...." Lurch began to formulate some hideous plan that would involve Igor doing all the footwork.
Igor grabbed the back of his ponytail, and whispered into his ear. "I hate you."
Penn and Teller were driving down the road in a large bus, a barely distinguishable NASA logo covering one side. They drove towards the approaching storm, taking little notice of it. "Oh look, we're out of gas," Penn said emotionlessly. Teller flinched. "Oh look, Hell's Basin," Penn mused. Teller looked at Penn with a somewhat annoyed stare. "Well, I don't know what it's really called, but it looks like something that would be called Hell's Basin." Teller rolled his eyes and looked out the window. "We're out of gas," Penn said again, smiling.
As they drove up to the biosphere entrance, the others within watched from their look out points. "Oh my god! We have visitors!" Dr. George gasped. He quickly gathered everyone together. "On your best behavior, be kind, shy, nice, and no funny shit!"
"Aye, aye sir, captain, your royal flippin' highness." The others said muttered retorts as the doctor went out to greet his new guests.
"Any service stations around here?" Penn yelled from the driver's window.
"No, not until you reach exit 465," Dr. George told him.
"Oh great."
"What is it?"
"I have no idea where we are."
"Is this bad? Or inconvenient?"
"Yeah, we're trying to get to our next show; we're magicians and we should have flown. Goddamn these new travel laws!"
"You can stay here until the storm passes," Dr. George said, enthusiastically. “We call this place Hell's Basin. My name is Dr. George." Because of the doctor’s generosity, Penn and Teller were put at ease. "Come meet the others." The group ran to their respective hiding places as Penn, Teller, and the doctor stepped inside leaving Igor standing alone and confused.
"Har alla vagar blir kaput?" she said meekly before running away.
"Oh great, a modern-day version of the survivors of the Donner Party," Penn sighed.
Sketch continued to hook up her computer system. "Hey, Ben."
Ben looked up from the various wires he had been untangling. "What?"
"Who do you think those two new stiffs are?"
"No clue. Have you seen a red wire?"
Meanwhile, Dr. George was trying to convince Penn and Teller that everything was okay. "They don't usually act like they're insane. Did you say something?" He looked at Teller. Teller shook his head vehemently. “I’m sorry, I thought you said something. Okay, and we're walking, we're walking..."
Sketch's cousin popped out of an over head vent. "What is this? Some kind of tour?"
"Who is that?" Penn asked. Teller looked at the kid like he was a sewer rat.
"Who? Him?" Dr. George gestured towards the kid as he jumped down from the vent. Teller nodded slowly. "That's just Morris. We call him Mole." He saluted Dr. George and disappeared into the vent.
In a vent nearby, Igor and Lurch were hiding. Igor reminded Lurch once again that she "hated" him. Suddenly, she kissed him. A loud clanging from behind them ruined the “moment”. The clanging was then replaced with the sound of cloth sliding across steel, moving towards them. Igor and Lurch started to back towards the grate when the sound suddenly stopped. Igor had her arms around Lurch and was practically sitting in his lap. "You hate me, huh?" he said, grinning.
Igor slid a little and fell off of his lap. "Ow."
Outside the vent, Ben and Sketch were finished setting up the computer system and decided to take a break. They decided to investigate the van that the newcomers arrived in. They walked past Dr. George, Penn, and Teller as they talked. Sketch sharply turned to look at them. "Did one of you call me?"
"I think it might have been him," Dr. George said, pointing to Teller. Teller rolled his eyes. He then gestured that it was safe for them to keep going.
The two stalwart friends headed out to the van. Sketch checked the handle. "It's locked."
"Not a problem." Ben pulled out a lock pick set and set to work. He soon had the door open. "Ta da!" The duo climbed into the van and looked around. They saw computers, tools, dynamite, knives, ropes, and a crate of fire arms.
"Okay, either these guys are nuts or they are really cool," Sketch said, half in awe.
"We'll see soon enough," Ben said, a wary look creeping its way onto his face.