Rants

sadly enough, i didnt write this. dude (aka sean for all of you who don speak carlenese) did. and i think its fuckin hilarious and the best rant i've heard in a long while. disturbing and psychotic but still highly amusing. so up it goes. read on, dubya haters. its amusing.

 

Reasons i am pro-war:

1) I hate the subculture response to war. Im annoyed at all the hippie rallies, the protest marches, the signs, the chants and the hundreds of satirical, politcal, weed-induced songs mustered up by libertarians, anti-government nutcases and other Berkeley students. I cant wait for the new Abbie Hoffmans sprout up like weeds. When we go to war they are gonna fume and fuss about the innocent people the government kills and you know what? they cant fucking do anything about it. Bush represents "the people" and "the people" fucking hate that. "no allegance under my name, man. noo!"
 

2) i respect bush. a lot. no joke. and the reason forks. he is a politician. a stupid politician who thinks investing social security into the stock market is a good idea. has he even FOLLOWED the stock market? and people are treating his "war on terrorism" as 99% of his job. theyre ignoring all his other poorly handled issues like civil rights, womens rights, separation of church and state etc. but thats neither here nor there. The bottom line is that we want peace in the US right? so i say we bomb the hell outta the midddle east and let our troops massacre even more....then we'll be known to all the nations as the fuckin "Crazy States." Well be labeled as "pyscho"! Isnt that cool? We kill hundreds upon thousands of women and children and everyone will be scared to death of us. They'll be scared; for real and BAM = No more third world country threats anymore! "didja see what they did to those children? dont fuck with the states, guys, they dont fuckin care bout anything! theyll fuckin kill you without listenin to debates or nuthin, man!" We should cut off some islamic kid's head and post it at the top of the white house!!! scare tactics-proven to work. Of course the only flaw in this plan ryhmes with "hoil". Bah. but still thats cool, right? meanwhile from the inside of america: everyone will blame one man...one man will take the heat for his one decision... but Saddam needs to understand that we just dont want to kill him, it is our american DUTY to kill everyone around him, everyone he's ever talked to or cared about. "Learn him reeeel good" so to speak. We're the mob basically. scare them straight, yknow? But it forks because I am a republican. I respect politicians decisions, all of them. Bush is self-centered and insensitive. The way a republican should be:-) I still believe that they are the best people in this country to make decisions. Everyone whines and bitches about how all politicians are fakers and liars and cheats. well if thats true where are the GOOD people? Where are the morally righteous people? Well let me tell you those people dont exist. Everyone has flaws. The creme de la creme IS INDEED in office, making the most important decisions of their and our lives. I respect all of them. So kudos to bush if he smoothly succeeds and kudos to him if he fails-the media slaughter will be beautiful.
 

3) Ah the media. CNN and MSNBC will have the best time sensationalizing the war. They are all going to claim they are reporting right at the front line when they are really in a Holiday Inn-miles away from the shelling. Its going to be embarrassing and above all things-funny. Oh Geraldo Rivera I love thee...
 

4) By this time you realize that i am insensitive to the lives of others. I do not believe this is evil. This is my civil duty as a republican to be as selfish and self serving as possible (sounds like satire but isnt). I dont care about other people. I just care about myself. and what amuses me the most is public confusion and mass hysteria. Not in the form of violence and terror-(in america) but in the form of heated, angry debates and the explotative tabloid-media. Violence in the media absolutely facinates me and the day i hear Tom Brokaw reporting on the young Islamic boy who lost his family (not to mention his arms) in the raid of his town, I am a happy man. I love how other countries hate us because millions of their people die by our hand and when they retaliate, we call them monsters. They always have that "Hey! come down here and fight like a man!" mentality. I think the appropriate response to that is "BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE TO....CATCH!!! (drops bomb)" You see the main arguement against war is that "We'll murder thousands of people for a no good reason. Its just Lady America's way of flexing her already-over-inflated ego. Once we decimate everything in the middle east, nothing will change, infact, we'll make more enemies." Well, personally, i dont know anybody who currently lives in the middle east so i am completely indifferent to their lives. besides they are dying for a cause: Lady America's ego needs a-flexin'! PUT THAT ON THE HEADLINE NEW YORK POST!! ...seriously, bottom line: they can die because i dont know them. HA!!!!!

scene end. address applause.

note: please dont judge me. this is my opinion. this is how i feel about this issue. I honestly dont judge people based on their opinions (although i do argue with discrepancies) in all seriousness. That is what maturity is. Holding an opinion without being self-righteous or judgemental. so basically, if you say that my opinion "stupid or wrong," you dont respect other peoples opinions farfetched or not. YOU ARE IMMATURE.

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