Another youma attacked that night, and five sleepy, grouchy Senshi stumbled from their beds and headed into a not-so-nice part of town to take care of it, swearing bloody murder on whatever creature dared interrupt their sleep.

Apparently the Negaverse had decided to go with a theme this week, because this time the monster looked like a giant harpy, with the head of a woman—an old hag, to be more precise, with teeth like needles and scraggly black hair—and the body of a vulture, although there was a definite feminine shape to it. Unlike the centaur, however, this strange creature was far from beautiful. And what made things even worse was that there was more than one. In fact, there were three of them, and they were all equally ugly. They screeched and dove at the Senshi as soon as they arrived, and the smell of rotting carcasses wafted through the air.

"Phew!" Sailorjupiter cried as she waved a hand in front of her face. "Mou, don’t you people ever take baths?! Kuso, that’s gross!"

"Or at least try brushing your teeth!" Sailorvenus added as she ducked beneath sharp talons.

The harpies merely screeched and dove again, teeth clicking in anticipation of a meal. "Minna, I don’t think they care much about sucking energy!" Sailormoon wailed as she barely avoided a smelly, feathered body. "I think they’re looking for actual food!"

Jupiter snarled and landed a punch-kick right in a harpy’s face. "Well, hate to break it to you, but the buffet is closed!" she huffed, releasing a lightning bolt. The harpy screeched and took off, smoking, back into the air. "Since when to youma come in packs, anyway?!" she questioned.

"Well, these aren’t normal youma!" Sailormars panted, agilely twisting away from open claws. "It seems like Beryl’s been reading too many books on Greek Mythology or something!"

"Ne, you think Beryl actually knows how to read?!" Venus quipped, slashing the air with her crescent beam. A harpy screeched, plummeting to the ground, one wing beating frantically as the other one hung uselessly.

"I’ll get it!" Sailormoon called gleefully, hurling her tiara at it. The creature gave a hideous shriek and turned to dust. "Yatta!" Sailormoon exclaimed victoriously.

This action, however, seemed to enrage the other two harpies. "Sister!" one of them screeched, hurtling herself toward Sailormoon, who promptly squealed and ran for cover. As she passed Mars, the Senshi released a large fireball that sent the harpy flaming to the ground, shrieking.

"Eeeewwwww!" Sailormoon wailed, clapping her hands over her ears. "What a hideous sound!"

"Sounds a lot like you, actually," Mars taunted. "Quit wailing and dust the stupid thing!"

Sailormoon glared at her Senshi, swearing silent revenge as she hurled her tiara into the flaming body, turning it instantly to dust. "Kuso! Where’s the other one?" she demanded, looking around frantically.

She found it a moment later, silently hurtling down right at her, talons outstretched and gleaming sharply. There was no time to dodge, so she shrieked and threw up her arm to protect her face, waiting for claws to pierce her flesh.

Of course this was when Tuxedo Kamen showed up. He appeared out of the shadows, jabbing his cane sharply into the youma’s belly as he scooped Sailormoon into his arms and dodged out of the way. At the same time, two shouts heralded the lethal combination of Mars and Jupiter’s powers as a deadly stream pierced the harpy’s body, engulfing it in flame and lightning. The youma writhed and screamed and then…it exploded.

When the flame and smoke had cleared, the Senshi stood looking at the remainder of the harpy and blinking. Mars, Jupiter, and Venus looked shocked. Mercury looked slightly ill. Apparently, there was more than one way to dust a youma, and not all of them were pleasant…

"Well." Mercury blinked rapidly. "That never happened before…"

"I’m gonna be sick," Venus muttered, wrinkling her nose as she carefully side-stepped a chunk of…she didn’t want to know what it used to be…and joined the other Senshi. "Well, not a bad job, ne?" she added, brushing her hands together. "Three youma in one night. That’s some sorta record."

"I didn’t realize we were keeping score," Mars retorted.

Sailormoon frowned as she listened to her Senshi banter, trying to figure out what had happened. Exploding youma? Greek mythology? What was going on here? Maybe the Negaverse is actually trying to come up with something original, she thought dryly. Must have figured out that we were getting bored… Although, she could well have done without the exploding harpies. That was just downright nasty. She grimaced, trying not to look at any of the…rubble…laying at her feet.

She suddenly became aware that she was wrapped up in something warm and soft, and blinked in surprise, looking up to see Tuxedo Kamen gazing down at her silently. He had wrapped his cloak around her, which she had to admit was rather nice, considering he was using his arms to keep it in place. And he wasn’t yelling at her, either. How nice. She could really get used to this…

He lowered his head slightly until she could make out the hint of deep blue eyes behind his domino mask, and her own eyes widened slightly as her heart sped up. Was he going to…kiss her?

"I thought I told you not to take any stupid risks," he growled softly in her ear.

Hope packed its bags, waved bye-bye, and vanished in a puff. She scowled. Kuso! I knew it was too good to last!

"For your information, I didn’t take any risks!" she huffed, squirming indignantly out of his arms. After a brief, surprisingly difficult struggle—for some reason he didn’t seem inclined to let her go—she finally managed to escape. "It isn’t my fault that dumb harpy decided to dive-bomb me from above! D’ya think I’ve got eyes on the top of my head or something?!" she huffed.

He cocked his head at her, regarding her with quiet amusement, and opened his mouth to speak. But she didn’t give him the chance. "Shut your mouth, baka! I’m not gonna listen to it tonight!" she snapped, pointing a finger at him. "I’m tired, hungry, and I’m going home! If you have any complaints, you can talk to my lawyers over there!" She jerked her thumb over her shoulder toward her Senshi, who fixed their eyes on him and gave him sweet smiles in reply. Well…maybe sweet wasn’t quite the right word. Evil and unnervingly bloodthirsty might have described them better, but he got the general idea. "Lawyers", indeed! Those girls could give them a few lessons!

Sailormoon, in the meantime, used the distraction to take off into the night, waving goodbye to her friends and letting them deal with him how they saw fit. She was just really tired of men bullying her around all the time…

"Girls, I have something I need to discuss with you." Seeing as how his quarry had escaped so easily, Tuxedo Kamen decided that now would be a good time to bring up a certain subject with her friends…provided that they didn’t kill him before he got a chance to speak. Interest sparked in Mars’s eyes. Rei, he thought, now able to recognize each Senshi for who she really was.

"What is it, Tuxedo Kamen-sama?" the raven-haired Senshi questioned curiously. This was the first time he had ever willingly approached them, much less spoken to them about anything other than a battle. A few roses, a haiku or two, and he was gone with the night. It was irritating, really. Couldn’t he see how attractive she was?

Tuxedo Kamen hesitated, then decided to simply bite the bullet…and hope it didn’t explode in his mouth. "It’s about Sailormoon," he stated bluntly. Then, with extreme caution, "Or I guess maybe I should say Usagi-chan…"

"NANIIII?!"

He couldn’t figure out which of them had erupted first; decided it was probably a tie. He very quickly (and painfully) realized that when all of them yelled like that together, they could give Usagi’s wails a run for their money. He doubted he could have shocked them more if he’d torn off his hat and mask and started doing a strip dance in front of them. Clearing his throat, he eyed the poleaxed Senshi cautiously, prepared to spring away lest one of them—most likely Jupiter—should suddenly spring for his throat. "Yes, well…I need to ask your help," he continued, slowly backing away from them.

"How did you find out?!" Mars snarled, glaring at him. "That Odango-baka! She told you, didn’t she?! I’ll kill her!" She started off after Sailormoon; was held back in a death grip by a still bewildered Jupiter.

Tuxedo Kamen blinked. Now this he had not been expecting. "Iie, she didn’t tell me anything," he stammered, quickly leaping to defend Usagi from her Senshi’s wrath.

"Then how did you find out?" Mercury growled, stomping toward an increasingly nervous Tuxedo Kamen. "And if you know who she is, do you know who we are, as well?" He backed away, blinking, and nodded nervously. He’d thought Jupiter was going to be the main problem…but now he wasn’t so sure. Mercury seemed just the teeniest bit upset…

And now came the really dangerous part. Telling them how he’d discovered their little secret. The way he saw it, they could do one of two things. They could be really glad that the mysterious Tuxedo Kamen—whom they trusted only a little more than they did, say, Beryl—was actually a friend in real life…

Or they could get really, really pissed off at him for keeping such a secret from them and cheerfully beat him into a bloody pulp. Right now, it looked like option two was taking the edge, and he had the strangest feeling that shy, quiet Mercury would be leading the pack if it came down to it.

Oh, boy. This was not going well…

"Look, I’ll tell you how I figured it out, but you all need to calm down," he told them, trying to take control of the situation again. He was a man, curse it! Was he really gonna let a pack of teenage girls intimidate him? Mercury growled…actually growled…at him, and he gulped and took another step back.

"Okay, look, minna, just settle down! Sailormoon was hurt in the last youma attack, okay? Remember the centaur? None of you were there to help her. Now, I know it wasn’t your fault. I saw Usagi at the arcade the next day, and realized that she was hurt, so I helped her out a little. It wasn’t difficult to put two and two together when I saw a hoof-shaped bruise the size of a cantaloupe on her side!"

The Senshi listened to him, the tenseness slowly draining out of their bodies, and he allowed himself to relax, as well. "Demo…if you were at the arcade…does that mean she knows your alter ego, as well?" Mercury questioned, finally back into a more rational state of mind.

"Hai, she does, and so do all of you," he replied. "Although I don’t think she’s discovered that he and I are the same person yet. But that isn’t important. What I want to ask is for your help…" His voice dropped to a mere whisper, "…in making Usagi-chan fall in love with me."

For the second time in under ten minutes, he managed to shock the girls speechless. Clearly this was the last request they’d expected out of him! "Uh…er…well, if you want her to fall in love with you…er…you don’t really need us to help ‘cause she already is head over heels for you," Venus stammered, blushing faintly.

Tuxedo Kamen shook his head, smiling slightly. Time to make it a record three. "Iie, I don’t want her to fall in love with Tuxedo Kamen," he told them quietly. "I want her to fall in love…with me." And with that, he pulled off his hat and his mask to reveal to them the face of Chiba Mamoru.

… … …

… … …

This sound came from four traumatized bodies all hitting the ground at exactly the same time, twitching slightly as one maskless super hero stood over them in befuddlement, shaking his head in disgust. "Mou! Girls are so weird…"