Chapter Ten

Miaka looked around dazedly as she sat up, wondering where on earth (or in the Labyrinth, as the case may be) she was now. Beside her, Chichiri was also just beginning to stir, his mask lying beside him. "Are you all right, no da?" he asked, looking the Miko over in concern.

"Yeah," she replied, smiling to assure him, feeling much assured herself as he regarded her warmly. "Just a little shook up, I guess." She wrinkled her nose and added, in a rare burst of dry humor, "I suppose I ought to be getting used to being zapped from one place to another. It seems to be the main mode of transportation no matter where I go anymore."

"It beats taking a bus." This wry comment came from Yui, who was calmly straightening her skirt. "Where is everyone?" she asked, looking around with a small frown.

"I think we’re the only ones here, no da," Chichiri replied, turning away from her slightly as he placed his mask back over his face. "Everyone else seems to have vanished, no da."

Yui sighed. "Like things weren’t bad enough. Now I’m stuck with my worst enemies!" she complained.

"But I’m not your enemy, Yui-chan!" Miaka cried. "I never wanted to be your enemy!"

Yui was about to reply, but Chichiri cut in at that moment. "That’s enough, no da," he said, gently but firmly. "Now is not the time to settle your differences, no da. We have a long way to go, and we have no maps to tell us where to go. The best thing for us to do now is to work together to overcome this problem, and then you can settle your emotional differences later on, na no da."

"You’re right," Miaka replied regretfully. "We’d better try and find a way out of this forest first." As much as she longed to simply sit down and give Yui a good talking to…

Yui merely nodded, not looking at them.

Chichiri sighed. "If only I had my powers, no da. I could use them to sense the others, and we could at least find them again, no da."

"Well, they’ll be heading for the castle, so we might find them again anyway," Yui replied, trying to stay optimistic. Then she brightened. "I have an idea! I’m going to climb a tree, and from there I can see where the castle is. If we go in one direction, we ought to get back to the Labyrinth sometime, right?" She grabbed the lower branch of a gnarled, twisted tree and started to pull herself up, but Chichiri’s hand on her shoulder stopped her. "Hold on, no da," he replied. "It could be dangerous climbing this tree. It doesn’t look steady, and I wouldn’t want you to get hurt, no da. Let me climb it, no da."

Yui was surprised. "Wh-why would you care what happens to me? I am Seiryu no Miko, your sworn enemy," she stammered.

"But you’re still a person, no da," he replied. "And at the moment we’re allies, and I, as a Suzaku-sichiseishi, must always look out for my allies, no matter who they are, no da." Before she could stutter a protest, he was in the tree and climbing easily, soon vanishing into the leafy branches.

"Isn’t Chichiri great?" Miaka asked, casting a sidelong glance at Yui. "It’s nice to have someone like him for a friend, isn’t it?"

Yui blinked. "I…I guess so…" she replied uncertainly. "But I still don’t understand…why he would do that for me."

"Because he knows you’re not an evil person, Yui. He’s wise like that, and he really cares about people. Even so-called enemies," Miaka replied softly, gazing at her friend through shimmering eyes. "Stormlight told me she talked to you. D-did you think over anything she said? Do you understand now why I couldn’t save you before?"

Yui’s cheeks turned faintly red. "I…"

Just then, Chichiri’s voice called out, "I see it, no da!" and he was down again in another moment, effectively cutting off their conversation. "Straight ahead, no da. As long as we try to go in a straight line, we’ll soon come to the stone maze, na no da."

"Great!" Miaka cheered, linking one arm through Chichiri’s and the other through Yui’s, her enthusiasm clearly evident. "Well, let’s go!"

~~~{~@ ~~~{~@ ~~~{~@

As the trio walked, Yui fell into a thoughtful silence. It felt odd to be traveling with Miaka, her former best friend, and this Chichiri character, who was so strange—or not so strange, she amended, just unique—and yet seemed so wise at the same time. His calm, gentle demeanor was soothing to her, and she realized with a kind of shock that when she was around her own Seishi she never felt at peace. They were always at each other’s throats, it seemed, squabbling over any little thing (such as Tomo and Soi’s frequent arguments). Only Nakago kept them in line, and in doing that he sometimes used the brute strength of his power, no matter how much injury he caused them. His own allies. And he never seemed to care.

She wondered briefly at the importance of herself and her duties as Seiryu no Miko that would bring such a mixed group of people—people who might in other times actually be enemies—together. And what kept them together, besides Nakago’s power and threats and promises? She realized, somewhat uneasily, that they really weren’t there because they had a great love of her. Soi had once so much as admitted to her that she served only Nakago, and cared little for the Miko even though it was her destiny to serve her, and Yui had the feeling that Tomo felt much the same way.

Miboshi… She shuddered. She didn’t know what Miboshi wanted with her. He was a monk, she knew, just like Chichiri was. But there was such a difference between the two of them! Miboshi was…evil. And the thing that bothered her was that the body he possessed wasn’t even his own. The child monk bore the mark of a Seiryu Seishi…but the soul possessing the body was not the child’s soul…so did that truly make him a Seishi? What bound him to her, other than his own, hidden whims? She had no doubt that should Miboshi become bored with them, not even Nakago could stop him from turning on them to satisfy his amusement. The thought was disturbing, to say the least. A demon summoner was nobody she wanted to mess with.

And what of Ashitare? her mind whispered. What of the werewolf who would just as soon eat her as to look at her? She was, in some ways, more afraid of him than of any of the others put together. He was a man who acted with the instincts of a savage animal. And the fact that Nakago kept him chained and bound at all times did not reassure Yui in the least. She knew that the werewolf served only because of Nakago’s whip and powerful chi. His loyalty was blind, in the same way that an oft-beaten dog served its master, out of fear rather than love or genuine loyalty. Summoning gods was not important to a monster like that, and a Miko was of even less importance.

Then there was Suboshi, of course. She rather liked Suboshi, truthfully, and he was always kind to her. Out of all her Seishi, besides Nakago, she’d always felt that she could trust him the most, because he seemed to be the most loyal to her, and maybe it was also because they were the same age. But at the same time there was a darkness about him that she found disquieting. An anger and hatred that seemed to want to swallow him up sometimes. She knew it had to do with the death of his twin brother, but it was still unsettling to watch his face go from young and sweet to cold and deadly in an instant. And ever since Stormlight’s revelation, she found herself regarding him in a somewhat different light. One almost of…horror. In her mind, she could see him standing over the bodies of children, their blood a crimson field, his ryuseisui spinning with power as his face twisted in an animal mask of rage… It disturbed her that she could see such a vision in her head, could see the black hate in his eyes as he slaughtered innocents to avenge an accident.

It disturbed her even more to realize that she saw a lot of herself in those eyes…

Yui suddenly stumbled over a tree root, and might have fallen except for a gentle hand gripping her arm and helping to steady her. She looked up in surprise at Chichiri, who smiled down at her through his mask. "A-arigatou," she stammered, feeling a faint blush rise to her cheeks. "I wasn’t watching where I was going."

"You seem to be very deep in thought, na no da," he replied gently. "Is there something disturbing you?" His tone was so sincere that she had to fight to keep back sudden tears. When was the last time someone had shown her such concern? Nakago… She swallowed hard. Nakago always showed concern…but deep down inside, she sometimes felt like there was something…forced about it. Something not quite real. Not like Chichiri’s kindness, which seemed to flow from his very soul.

"No, I’m fine," she replied. What could she possibly say to him, after all? How could he, a Suzaku Seishi, possibly understand the heart of Seiryu no Miko? "Let’s just keep walking."

Miaka had wandered ahead, not having been witness to the quiet exchange, but now she came skipping back, looking at her friend in concern. "Are you okay?" she asked. "You look like you saw a ghost!"

Yui’s smile was only half-forced as she regarded her friend. "I’m fine," she replied, not really certain if she was lying or not.

"Hmmm…maybe we should take a rest. I saw some berries up ahead that looked really delicious, and they looked safe, too, ‘cause there was a deer eating them from the bushes."

Yui laughed despite herself. "Leave it to you to find food," she giggled.

"That’s our Miaka! At least we know we won’t starve with her around, no da. Well…if we can beat her to the food, anyway, no da," Chichiri added teasingly, smiling to take any sting out of his words.

"Hey!" Miaka protested. "At least I’m doing something useful!"

Yui dropped behind again as she listened to the two of them banter back and forth, watching them longingly. They were so easy around each other. So much like…friends. She wondered what would happen if she tried to joke around with any of her Seishi like that, and her shoulders slumped when she realized that most of them would probably take offense at any teasing remarks she made, not like when she used to tease Miaka, who’d taken it all in stride. The few times she had attempted to banter with Nakago, he’d simply given her a look that always made her feel like an imbecile. Apparently hurling friendly insults back and forth was beneath his dignity, so she’d stopped trying.

And once, when she and Suboshi were practicing archery, she’d teased him about having lousy aim. He’d blushed and looked chagrined, but she really didn’t think much of it until she saw him that same evening practicing at the archery range by himself, seemingly frustrated at every target he missed. He’d obviously taken her teasing as actual criticism. After that, she didn’t tease him anymore, either.

Yui realized in that moment that she was jealous of the easy camaraderie Miaka and her Seishi possessed. Even beyond the love Miaka and Tamahome shared so deeply, Yui could see the deep bonds her best friend had formed with all her Seishi in the months they had known each other, bonds that seemed to be lacking among herself and her own people. It made her feel…empty inside. An air of tension and mistrust seemed to always surround her, and she didn’t know if it was from herself or her Seishi. True, they served her, and she depended on them to protect her…but could she really trust them? Would they so willingly give their lives for her in battle should it be required? Again, a disquieting notion that at least two of her Seishi would give their lives to protect Nakago faster than they would to protect her colored her thoughts, and she frowned and wrapped her arms around herself to ward off a bitter chill.

If things were different—if she wasn’t their Miko—would they really be all that trustworthy? She knew, deep down, that if things had been different—if she had been the one to become Suzaku no Miko—the Seiryu Seishi would most assuredly have been her enemies. They would most assuredly be attempting to kill her.

Nakago would most assuredly be attempting to kill her.

And that, perhaps, was the most frightening realization of all.

~~~{~@ ~~~{~@ ~~~{~@

After a brief rest, during which the three of them nearly picked the bushes dry of berries—each of them silently praying that Stormlight’s prediction wouldn’t come true and they’d be carted off to some other place—they continued on their way. Chichiri and Miaka walked in companionable silence while Yui trailed behind, feeling very much the third wheel. After awhile, following several glances over her shoulder, Miaka leaned over and whispered, "Chichiri, maybe you should talk with Yui a little."

"What?" The monk looked down at her, surprised. "I don’t think she wants to talk, no da," he replied quietly.

"I know, but something’s bothering her, and I don’t think she’d tell me anything," Miaka said sadly. Then her face brightened. "But you’re so good at getting people to open up, Chichiri. People trust you. I always trusted you, even back when we first met." She paused, blushing faintly in remembrance. "Well…after that first time when I bit your hand, anyway," she added sheepishly.

"I still have tooth marks from that bite, na no da," he teased, and she grimaced.

"Well, how was I supposed to know you were the good guy! Someone was after me and you went and grabbed me from behind!" she grumbled, and he chuckled and gave her shoulder a friendly squeeze with his hand. "I’ll see what I can do, no da," he promised sincerely, and slowed his pace to match Yui’s.

The Miko looked up at him, again startled by his sudden appearance at her side. He regarded her for a long moment, then slowly reached up and, to her complete surprise, drew the ever-present mask from his face. The first thing she noticed was a warm, soft brown eye gazing at her with such gentle compassion that her throat closed over. The next thing she noticed was that he only had one eye; the other was missing, the lid sealed shut beneath a long, pale, jagged scar that covered the left side of his face from the bridge of his nose to his temple. Her breath hissed softly as she gazed at him, and she flushed guiltily when he shifted self-consciously beneath her stare.

After a moment she screwed up her courage to ask softly, "What happened?"

"A mistake," came the serious reply. The single eye came to rest upon her again, and it was her turn to be self-conscious.

"Something terrible?" she whispered. She made herself look up at him, meeting the warm brown gaze. Beneath the quiet wisdom of that gaze, she felt her fears melt away like so much snow beneath a spring sun.

"Would you like me to tell you what happened?" he asked kindly.

She blinked, then adamantly shook her head. "No…that’s okay. It really isn’t any of my business anyway. I don’t want to pry or anything if it’s hard to talk about…"

"Sometimes talking about your pain helps to ease it," he told her kindly. She had the oddest feeling that he wasn’t speaking of himself. She lowered her gaze shyly, not sure how to respond, until a hand appeared in her line of vision. Blinking, she looked up again as he waited patiently, hand still outstretched. Hesitantly, as though expecting him to bite her, she reached out and slipped her hand into his. His fingers closed gently over hers, and he gave them a soft squeeze before continuing to walk again as if it was the most natural thing in the world for two sworn enemies to walk hand in hand. Somehow…he had known that this was what she needed, craved. To be touched by another human being, who looked at her as simply "Yui" and not "Seiryu no Miko". And not as an enemy of any sort.

She felt her throat tighten again, and blinked back the moist warmth behind her eyes, angry with herself for being so emotional. "I…I really don’t understand why you’re being so nice to me," she told him hoarsely, watching her feet as she walked beside him and trying her best to sound unconcerned. "I mean, I suppose you think I’m pretty rotten, what with all the trouble I caused, ruining your ceremony and everything."

"Are you the one that sent Amiboshi to hide among us, to gain our trust?" he asked in return.

She blinked at him. "I never even met Amiboshi. N-Nakago did all that. He didn’t tell me about it until…until it was happening," she replied.

"So how can I blame you, if you didn’t even know?"

Her brow furrowed. "I am Seiryu no Miko. It was done because of me!" she protested.

Chichiri hesitated. "It would have been done with or without you," he replied carefully. "Despite what you think, you were really not that important to their plans, only an added bonus. Please don’t take offense," he hastily added as she frowned. "The Seiryu-sichiseishi were gathered without you, and whether you had appeared or not, our enemies would still have attempted to keep Miaka from summoning Suzaku."

"So, in other words…I’m less than nothing to them?" she whispered, unconsciously hunching her shoulders. It was not a very pleasant thing to have one’s worst fears confirmed by one’s supposed worst enemy.

"No, now you are very important to the Kutou empire, now that there is another way to summon the beast gods."

Yui sighed heavily. For some reason, that knowledge didn’t make her feel very much better. "And I agreed to become Seiryu no Miko," she acknowledged bitterly. "You should hate me for such a betrayal. She should hate me."

Chichiri gazed at her steadily. "It almost seems to me that you are looking for a reason to get us to hate you. Why is that, I wonder?"

She winced, then looked away. "Because, maybe then…some of the guilt I feel will be eased," she replied honestly.

"Or perhaps because, maybe then, you will finally have the excuse you’re looking for. Hate is a hard burden to bear alone. To have someone to share it with, even to bear it against you, is easier. But as long as she still loves you, you have no excuse to hate her, and that is why you are so full of guilt." Chichiri stopped walking and took her chin in his hand, making her look up at him as he continued seriously, "I don’t believe you are an evil person, Yui. You are simply someone whose spirit has been hurt terribly, and who has not yet learned how to deal with the pain."

Yui felt as though someone had punched her in the stomach, knocking the breath clear out of her as Chichiri’s quiet words hit home. Her jaw clenched as she stared at him, unable to look away from his probing gaze. After a long, silent time, she swallowed painfully and managed a low reply. "Even if that’s true, it’s too late now. I already chose my path."

"Fate leads us to stand before many paths. It is up to us which one we choose to follow, but all paths lead to one invariable end," he replied calmly. "It is much like this Labyrinth, when you think about it. Many paths, all of them going in different directions, and yet all lead to one conclusion."

She gave a short, bitter laugh. "I never believed in fate or destiny. I always thought we made our own luck. Now, though, I’m not so sure. I never would have wished to come here if I could have helped it. I wish Miaka had never found that stupid book! Then maybe things would still be okay between us."

Chichiri simply looked down at her, having no answer to give her. She gazed steadily back at him, her eyes filled with torment. "I don’t know what to do, Chichiri," she confided, in a voice gone soft and uncertain. "I feel as though I’m being pulled in two directions at once. I’m so confused, so…so lost! Why did fate choose me to play this game? Why me and Miaka? Why not two other girls? All I want is to go home! I don’t care about Seiryu or Suzaku or any stupid war! I don’t even care about Tamahome anymore! None of this should have had anything to do with us! I just…I just want things to be the way they were!"

"Things can never be the way they were," Chichiri replied gently, seriously. "No matter how much you wish, it cannot be changed. Even the power of the beast gods would not be able to make you forget. It happened, and you must learn to face what you’ve become, for better or for worse."

There was a long, tremulous moment of silence. Then, "What if…what if I hate what I’ve become?" came her soft, choked whisper.

Ever so gently, Chichiri pulled the distraught girl into his arms. She stiffened for the barest of moments before collapsing helplessly against him and giving in to soft, heart-wrenching sobs. "That is what forgiveness is for," he replied quietly, stroking her hair gently. "And it will be easier for everyone else to forgive you once you learn how to forgive yourself. It is never too late to make amends."

And Yui, sobbing heartbrokenly into Chichiri’s cloak, prayed with all her soul that he was right. Her heart was finally, slowly releasing the bitter anguish, doubt and jealousy that had festered for so long, fed by Nakago’s manipulation and lies.

All she wanted now was her best friend, and she was going to get her back, no matter what it took.