| Dave Patterson was born and abandoned in the middle of the Sahara Desert. He was then raised by a pack of mutant squirrels. They tought Dave to survive the tough living conditions by practicing intense yoga and meditation. These techniques have helped him to live to the healthy age of 733, yet he can't figure out why his mentor Lord Chuckles III nicknamed him Grandpa. Dave now resides in Richmond, which he owns, and is happily married to seven women, two raccoons, five basketball cards of wilt chamberlain, three stuffed chickens and a mailbox. He spends most of his time writing nasty letters to T.V executives for not putting "Happy Days" back on the air, and defending his national, "Rock Paper Scissors" title. |