The Truth This Time It was a warm spring day, as a young woman walked down a path towards a park. She could hear the children laughing in the distance. It gave her chills to think that perhaps some long gone day she had done the same. Perhaps she had laughed and played in the tire swing, but that was before she learned of the world. Now as she stood on the edge of the playground, she saw about 30 kids running, skipping, laughing, smiling, and hopping rope. On one end of the park there stood a very large tree and had she been younger she may have tried to climb it. It was the thing underneath the tree that caught the young woman's attention. A young girl, perhaps five or six, sat under the tree with her head buried in her knees. The young woman approached the child. "Hello," she greeted. The young child looked up at the taller woman and tried to smile. "Hello." "Why, what's the matter?" "I got my dolly stuck up in the tree. I would climb up to get it, but I'm staying at my Nana's and I wouldn't want her to worry if I came home with scratches." The young woman saw the doll and plucked it from the tree. "Here you go," she replied. "Why thank you so much!" "What's her name?" the young woman asked, knowing all to well the answer. "Music baby, she was my Godmothers, but Nana Catie says that my godmother is an angel now." This struck a chord in the young woman's heart. Nana? Could she be the one? Perhaps I do not have to make this harder than it is. "Tell me child, what is your name?" "My name is Cat, but I have a much longer name that I don't particularly like." "And what is that?" "Catherine Amaya Serenity Maxon." "Well, Catherine, means pure and innocent, Amaya means night's rain in Japanese, and Serenity is one of the names for the Goddess of the Moon." The young woman informed. "Really?" "Yes." "Well, I guess my name isn't so bad after all. Do you believe in angels miss?" "Of course, I used to know one." "Really?" "Uh uh, Angels can exist on Earth you know." "Wait till I tell Nana." "Where do you live?" "That house up there, the real big one. It's my Nana Catie's she lives there all by herself, but she loves it when my brothers and I come to visit and my cousins too." Cat announced. The young woman looked up towards the huge house looming in the distance. Perhaps, this is the only way to do it. "Do you think you could deliver a message to your Nana?" "I'll sure try." "Tell her...tell her you met a writer who was coming to see her, but that she met you instead, and please give her this." The young woman said. Cat stood up brushing aside her brown locks and clinging her doll in one arm. She took the note and took off. The young woman watched her go and than left the park. Cat ran all the way up the driveway to the house. She didn't go in the front but ran around the side. She quickened her pace and she saw the swing come in view. She knew her Nana would be sitting on the swing, with a cup of coffee or a book to occupy her time. She was not very old, though, she was becoming lonely as the people in her life left. Her husband had died not too long ago, and her grandmother only a few years ago. Catie was no longer the person she had once been; too many things had changed her life for her to remain the same. "NANA CATIE!!!!!" Cat called rushing up to her. "What is it darling?" Catie asked. "I met a writer!" "A writer? Cat what have I told you about talking to strangers?" "I know Nana, I know, but she was nice and she helped me get Music Baby down." "Down? Down from where?" "Um...a tree, but that's not important. She said she was coming to see you, but that she met me instead." "Wow! Back up, you said a writer was coming to see ME?" Catie inquired. This can't be happening, who would be coming to see me? "Yes, and she gave me this letter to give to you," Cat answered presenting her Nana with the letter. Inside the house Catie heard the faint voices of Alyssa calling. Cat heard them too and went flying off like a rocket. "MOMMY!" Catie lingered on the swing, and let the two enjoy their reunion. She slowly unfolded the letter, just as she done some many times with so many other letters. She knew the writing in an instant and choked on a scream. What she was seeing just wasn't possible. Slowly, she began to read, taking great care not to miss a single letter: Dear Mrs. Moore, I'm sure you are surprised to see this writing before you. You have thought me dead for many years now and until now it was not safe for me to return. I am back now, and alive as I have been for the last five years. I know it is not fair to you to put you in a position to remember things, but I'm afraid I must. Please do not speak of this to Alyssa unless you are still close with her, or Megan for that matter. They were torn when it happened, I'm afraid it will hurt them more. I cannot tell you what hell I've been through, because I'm sworn to secrecy. I'm writing to tell you that you'll be safe now and so will all the children. I am sure Alyssa has more than just Cat now and I suppose Megan has had a few as well. I hope you will forgive me for letting you believe a terrible lie for so long. Always, Amaya Catie read the letter a second time, making sure she'd read it correctly. She looked towards the back door where Alyssa was appearing with Cat and the boys. Megan was there as well with her twins. A sudden sense of rage swept over her and she was furious with Amaya in her head. There will be no way I can forgive her. She left this, her family, everyone who ever cared for he! She hurt us in the deepest way possible and for that I cannot forgive. She will not come back into this family! Catie entered the house and smiled at the two women who stood before her with their children, than it happened. "So, Nana Catie, what did the writer write?" Cat asked "Writer?" Alyssa echoed, looking at Catie and than to Megan. "Cat I think you better take your brothers and cousins outside while Aunt Megan, Nana, and I talk." Cat did as her mother bid and the children ran off into the spring sun. Catie walked straight to the kitchen without a word and the two followed. "Someone wrote you a letter?" "It was nothing," Catie replied. "It was about Amaya wasn't it?" Alyssa concluded. She had never seen Catie so pale. "Did they find her body?" Megan hopefully asked. She had gone five years without any closure, they all had. "Oh its better than that," Catie sarcastically stated. "Well?" "It's from Amaya. She's been alive all this time." "WHAT?" There was a very long silence as Megan and Alyssa contemplated what they just heard. Their little sister, their best friend, had been alive all this time? Catie set the letter down on the table and Megan picked it up. She and Alyssa read through it and when they were done they had tears in her eyes. "We must find her at once," Megan declared. "Yes, we'll ask Cat to help us identify her." "Fine, go and find her if that's what you want." "You don't want to?" Megan questioned. Catie left the room and went up the stairs; she went to the top flight and went into her closet. Alyssa and Megan followed her and saw her take down a large box filled with papers. The box broke as she put it on the floor. "This is what she left, all of her writing. Amaya is dead for me, I have finally managed to move on and nothing, nothing is going to bring her back!" Catie snapped. She was trying very hard to hide her true emotions. "You can't be serious!" Megan responded. "This is Amaya we are talking about!" "I can't believe you! You were the one, who clang to that last hope that somewhere she was still alive and now you're going to turn your back on her. She needs us!" "Maybe she needs you, but she doesn't need me." Catie replied. "I can't believe you're just going to pretend that her being alive means nothing to you," Alyssa stated. She and Megan withdrew from the room. Catie sat on the floor and tried to put the pieces of the box back together again. No matter how she tried they just wouldn't go back, not the way they had been before they broke. The pitter-patter of feet caused her to look up as she saw Cat enter the room. "Nana, are you mad at me?" "No, darling, never." Catie swore. "Are you mad at Mommy and Aunt Megan?" Cat asked. "No, sweetie. Your Mommy, Aunt Megan, and I were having a disagreement. I am not mad at them." "Are you mad at anyone?" Catie looked towards her adopted granddaughter. Cat slid into her lap and Catie protectively held her. "I'm mad at God." "How can you be mad at God?" "He took away something, and now he is giving it back." "So shouldn't you be happy with him?" "I suppose." "Than why aren't you?" "It's very complex." "Oh, do you think an Angel could help you?" Cat inquired. "An angel? I don't know. Angel's don't exist on Earth." "That writer I met didn't think so. She said she knew an Angel, who lived right here on Earth," Cat informed. "She did?" "Yes, maybe I could try and find you an angel. Would that make you happier, Nana Catie?" Catie looked down at the child sitting in her lap. Perhaps that's what I need. To find out why she left, to learn the truth this time. Funny, how such a small child can know so much. She is just like her Godmother. "I think you did just help." *** Catie walked into the office building. She could scarcely believe she had made it all the way here with out turning back. Alyssa and Megan were shocked when she'd announced she'd be the first to visit Amaya. Now that she was this close to seeing her, the butterflies built in her stomach. She had never been so nervous before. It was a scary thought, seeing someone you thought was dead. Hearing them speak to you, knowing they were alive and you weren't just dreaming. It was a feeling Catie was trying to get used to. She stepped up to the receptionist desk and the woman looked up. "I'm here to see Dr. Amaya Tide," Catie said. "Of course, I'll take you to her office." The young woman led Catie down a long hallway to a wooden door, which she opened to reveal a spacious office with a large window behind the desk. The view was beautiful and Catie was hardly surprised Amaya had taken this particular office. "Dr. Tide will be right with you." The woman left and Catie was alone again. She noticed a picture sitting on the bookshelf and upon closer examination recognized it as the day Cat had been baptized. I can't believe she still has this picture. She'll need a new one of Cat and the other children as well. "I hope you weren't waiting long," a young voice said from behind her. Catie turned around to see a beautiful woman with long brown hair tied back, and radiant green eyes. There was no doubt in her mind or heart that this was Amaya. "Not long at all." She replied after a pause. "It's been a long time," Amaya said. "Yes, it has. Too long," Catie replied. "That was not my fault, I did not have a choice in the matter." "How is your husband?" "Dead." "Oh, I'm sorry." "It is I would should be sorry, I heard about your husband and grandmother, but I was not able to call. I attended your Grandmother's memorial service, under cover of course. It was the least I could do, for someone who had helped me." "I don't understand." "Your grandmother knew I was alive. We talked once a week from the time I was announced missing till only a few days before she died. She couldn't tell you, so please don't hold it against her." "She knew? All this time, she knew you were alive? And she never told me?" Catie gasped. This was news indeed. She had counted on seeing Amaya alive; not finding out that someone she lived with knew she was alive. I don't believe this! My own grandmother lied to me! "She was trying to protect you." "Protect ME? I am a grown woman, I don't need protection!" "From this man you did." Amaya pressed a button a picture appeared on a far wall. "Do you recognize him?' "I don't know...maybe..."Catie said starring. On the inside her heart was pounding, she knew very well who that man was; she had never wanted to see his face again. "Perhaps I can refresh your memory," Amaya said coldly. She looked at a cream colored folder sitting on her desk and put it back down. "His name is Michael, he savagely beat up his girlfriend, constantly abused her, and was finally stopped when he beat her practically to death and killed her unborn child. Ring a bell now?" "Yes." Catie whispered. She looked down at the ground. That was so many years ago, and yet it feels like yesterday. How could she find all this information out? How could she know all this? Amaya looked at her one time mentor and felt a pain. It doesn't matter, I went through hell for her and she's going to damn well know it! "He was your ex-fiancé, am I correct?" "Yes, but than I happily married." "Yes, I know. Although it wasn't always happy, May 29th, 1988, you lost your second child." "Amaya I don't want to talk about this." "Is that why you could never find it in you to care? Because I lived and your daughter died." "What are you talking about? I never held that against you! Never!" "Really? Well let me tell you something, apparently your wonderful ex-fiancée thought it was the other way around. He tried to kill me and when that didn't work. He sent his son, Chris, after me, and do you know what happened? I fell in love with his son, I married his son, and Hell I would have born his son a child if he hadn't killed it! I was happy when he turned on Chris and killed him. It saved me the trouble!" Amaya snapped. Catie's face grew pale as she heard the story. Chris, hit her? He was Michael's son? I never knew, no one knew! "Oh my God, Amaya I didn't know. I..." "You're damn right you didn't know. I kept him off your track. He tried to kill Cat and that's where I drew the line. I traded him, my life in exchange for yours and Cats. Than I was on the run, they finally caught him a year ago. I put a bullet in his shoulder in the process and I would have killed them if they'd let. I gave up the last five years of my life trying to protect my family, the only family I have now and you can't tell me the truth." Amaya breathed for a moment. She could feel tears swelling up in her eyes. She had never told anyone all of what happened between her and her husband. She'd been too ashamed. She couldn't stand it anymore. Amaya was slowing beginning to think that perhaps it had been a better idea to stay dead. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have done anything to keep him away from you..." "And prove his point. He once told me, what he'd do to you, if he ever got you. I tried to kill him." "Amaya, you shouldn't have had to do this on your own. I should have been there to help you. God, I do anything to go back and change it," Catie sighed. Amaya looked at her. Perhaps it was wrong of me to bring back this pain, I know I felt I needed revenge that she had the life I dreamed of, but still... "I wouldn't." "What?" "I wouldn't change anything." "Even if you wouldn't have to go through that hell?" "Yes, Alyssa, Megan, and you each got something that made you all happy. Alyssa got people she could trust and a family, and people who truly cared about her. Megan got to be with people who she could count to help her, and to be there for her. You got, well I'm not sure what you got, but I know, Cat got what she deserved." "I got a very large and energetic family, with lots of grandchildren to keep me young. You know you and Cat are very similar." Catie said she smiled as she thought about all of them. "I wish I knew." Amaya turned away from Catie to stare out the window. She wanted to know more than anyone could imagine. I want to hold them in my arms, and hear their voices saying goodnight, and the pitter-patter of their feet in the morning. I want to hear I love you, and know for once that everything will be okay. "You could, Amaya. All the children could use a godmother..." "They don't even know my name." "That's not true, they all know a bed time story about a little angel named Amaya. Call it my creative attempt to keep you a live, at least for me." Amaya did not face Catie but felt her stand next to her. "But now you are alive, and I know you can chose for yourself the life you want. You gave up so much, and now you don't have to. I know you always wanted to study and become a doctor, that you wanted to travel and have nothing to tie you down, and now you can do that. I think its just the thought of losing you again, that I'm trying to deal with," Catie explained. She wanted so badly to hold Amaya close to her and protect her from all the pain in the world. She wanted to turn back the clock and have her be a teenager again. "Maybe, I wanted that a long time ago. I have changed you know. I do still want to travel and study, but not nearly as much as I had. Now all that really matters to me is my family being happy. I guess I just don't want to be alone anymore," Amaya whispered. She felt the tears escape her grasp and was pulled into a tight embrace. She rested her head on Catie's shoulder and wished for just a second that she had all that her mentor had. They both had begun to cry, and Catie held Amaya. *** It had been six months since the letter arrived. Now every one of Amaya's friends knew she was alive, but the only one to have seen her was Catie. Catie would tell them all of Amaya's doings and what was going on in her life. She would pass on any messages to any of Amaya's other friends. Catie wasn't sure exactly why Amaya wouldn't see them, but she figured it was just an adjustment. Today was Thanksgiving and everyone was coming to Catie's house. Catie couldn't wait to see some of her adopted grandchildren. It was really only Cat and her siblings and Megan's two children that she saw on a regular basis. Catie had told Amaya about the dinner one month ago. Amaya had said she would probably have to decline because she was to be on a ship in the Mediterranean Sea the day before. Catie had spent the entire morning preparing everything. Alyssa and Megan had spent the night before and were up early helping her. Cat had been put in charge of setting the table and Megan's twin girls were in charge of making place cards. Slowly the moment approached and finally everyone had arrived. It was about 2 in the afternoon when people were starting to head to the table. Catie had run upstairs to change her clothes quickly and as she was coming down stairs she heard the front door open. Who could that be? She came down the stairs and saw a young woman enter. "I'm home," Amaya called. Catie almost fainted on the stairs. She hurried down the last few and hugged Amaya tight. Alyssa and Megan came running with the others on their heels and they all through their arms around Amaya started rambling all at once. "Oh my God!" Megan cried. "You got taller!" Alyssa said. Everyone greeted Amaya with hugs and warm welcomes. The children came in and were introduced. Cat smiled at her godmother and led her to the table. Catie finally got everyone to sit at the table taking great care in making sure Amaya sat next to her. They said a blessing and ate their Thanksgiving dinner. Later that night while Amaya was helping Catie clean up and the others were outside watching stars, the two were talking. "I thought you were on a ship," Catie said. "Well, my boss heard that I had a family back home and asked me about them. When I explained the situation he said he'd fire me if I weren't on the first plane off the ship. So I thought I'd better go," Amaya explained with a laugh. Catie hugged her tightly for at least the fortieth time that night. "Welcome home darling."