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DISCLAIMER: I... am *not* a crook. ^_^
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DISCLAIMER: I... am *not* a crook. ^_^
Right... Testing.... One... two... T-Minus one... two... what? You mean that's not... well, shit. ^_^ C:/DOS C:/DOS/RUN RUN/DOS/RUN HA HA HA ...Could be worse, it could be the claustrophobic stripper joke... ^_^ Alright, I'm ready.
Heya, folks! I'm James Howard, The MultiMediocre Knight.
And, well, I never thought we'd all see the day.
I know none of you have the slightest clue what I'm talking about, but I'm telling you, this is a big day.
You see, today, October 23rd, 1999, is the Second Anniversary of the MultiMediocre Page.
Think about it, folks. This little nugget I pass off as a homepage is two damn years old today. Happy birthday, eh? :)
Now, in case you're wondering(and even if you aren't): The MultiMediocre Guestbook's Second Birthday is October 25th (or "the day after tomorrow" ^_^), and the Church of Kaphwan turns two on December 1st. And, oh yeah, Shizumaru Central turned one three months ago; it's just that Tripod is such a bitch to update on, I haven't had the energy to go anywhere near the damn place. That and I completely forgot about SC turning one. Oh, well, it doesn't mind. :)
So, of course, you can mail the congratulations and gifts and money to me at mmk@beer.com, and I'll be sure to give it to the mMp. Really, I will. :)
So, break out the party hats and streamers and celebrate, kids! Now, let's see if the place lives to be three. ^_^
Oddly enough, you and these two guys are the only people who came to the party today. ^_^
And, in case you're wondering, this turns two on March 17th. :)
Kim says, "Visit James Howard's MULTIMEDIOCRE SHRINE TO KIM KAPHWAN OF FATAL FURY AND KING OF FIGHTERS AS WELL AS A GUEST APPEARANCE IN SAMURAI SHOWDOWN 2, or I'll start singing 'Come On Eileen' by Dexy's Midnight Runners."
Shizumaru says, "Hello, my name is Shizumaru Hisame of Samurai Shodown III and IV. I'm sure, by now, you've met the MultiMediocre Knight. Well, he's made a shrine about me and named it 'Shizumaru Central' for some God-forsaken reason, and it would make him deleriously happy if you would visit it. For some reason, however, he hasn't updated it in quite a while. You have to wonder sometimes if he'll ever get around to it."...Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, if it were actually him and not a picture of his head, that IS what he would say. Really! When have I ever lied to you? Lately, I mean. Okay, today, than.
"Hey, kid," Kim would say, mystically appearing out of nowhere.
"Yes?" Shizu would respond, ignoring the fact that Kim just appeared from out of nowhere.
"You're Japanese, correct?" Kim would ask.
"Well, technically." Shizu would say.
"Technically?" Kim would ask. "How the hell does that work?"
"Well, you see," Shizu would say, "I come from feudal Japan, a few centuries back, y'see, when men were men and smelled like horses and..."
Fliptop says, "Flip! Flip! Flip flip! FLIP! Flip! Flip FLIP!" which means "Links? You don't WANT to see the links. They're VERY OLD. James NEVER UPDATES THEM. I don't even know why I'm STILL LINKING TO THEM. They turn two on November 3rd, and they're STILL not going to be updated." How true, how true. ^_^
since October 23rd, and that's... obviously broken. Aargh. One second.*tweak* *turn* *SNAP!* Oops. ^_^ *click*
Alright, now let's see here. *Whirrrrrr...*
This is an actual screenshot, from an actual game, of a dolphin wearing an aviator cap, flying a plane, and giving out his opinion on the destruction on a major city. No, I know it isn't the counter... I just wanted to point it out to you folks. ^_^ Anyway, the counter...
*CHINK*
If you drink twelve martinis and try to climb onto the top turnbuckle of a wrestling ring, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU. ^_^
*WHAP.*
Oww! What? What? *You* try doing it, than! ^_^
Anyway, if I remember correctly, the counter should be around here somewhere...
*Click!* *BEEP!*
And here we see the CEO of Mastercard explaining that his card is the only way to pay someone to paint your face up real nice. Really, it is. Trust me.
...What are you staring at me like that for? ^_^
What? Counter? I don't k... oh, right! The counter! Silly me. ^_^
*click* * *MOOO!* *blinkblink* *pause* *click* *BEEP!* *Buzzzzz....*
Here we see how *not* to give an electric demon rat liposuction. ^_^
Hee hee! Don't mind me. :) Now, where's that counter...
*click* *WHACK!* *SLAM!* *JUMP!* *LAND!* *KICK!* *turn*
Here we see some seriously drunk pussy, an-
*SMACK!*
Oww! Hey! Like you wouldn't have made that same joke in the first place. :)
...What? Oh, you want the *counter* now, do you? Well, I don't know... *ducks a clothesline* Alright, if it means that much to you. ^_^ Alright, let's see...
*CREEEEAK!* *Beep!* *KABOOM!*
Coming soon to an arcade near you! MULTIMEDIOCRE PAGE: THE ARCADE GAME! ;p
*Flip!* *Clang!* *Clonk.* *CLONK!* *CLONKCLONKCLONK!* *FOOOOM!* *Squeek!* *QUACK!* *PuttputtputtputtputtputtVROOMputtputtputtputt...*
There we are! So, now that we've... hey... wait a second... *Looks again at ... oh, for Flutie's sakes. It's been two years and I *still* can't get the counter to work right. ^_^ I'll just reach over here and... *Click.*
THERE we are! THERE it is! It's fixed, it's healthy, it... has over 2500 hits. Wow, that's about 1250 a year, huh? ^_^
Well, I THINK it worked for me. Make it work for YOU!
Okay, I'll level with you, I have no idea who he is. He just wandered in off the street and I haven't been able to make him leave yet. ^_^
. TWO YEARS AGO. ^_^If, like I was, you are VERY VERY bored and feel like messing around with something, you can get a Free Home Page from Geocities.