I first saw him when I was in college. We met through one of those computer services, and I was told he was generous and the type who would be there whenever I needed him.

He was very bright and a real card, but my friends warned me he was nothing but plastic. Nevertheless, we began to go everywhere together... C.C. bought me dinners, jewelry, expensive clothes - almost anything I desired!

A month later, I met Bill, who was waiting for me when I went to pick up my mail. He seemed nice at first, but then I asked him what his interests were, he said, "21.6%"...

It was evident that all he was after was my money. To make matters worse, Bill said "C.C. would never go out with me again if I didn't pay." The two had their little trick planned all along.

... Which brings me to why you are not getting a birthday gift...

Happy Birthday, Anyway!