Selected Writings
* * * * *
Self Portrait
In the darkness, there
can be found no light.
No holy entities or loves sublime.
Looking inside
of myself I have seen
A future of black received.
A glory future to all
and a sick ruinous me.
* * * * *
Lucky Star
You are my lucky
star.
You fell on me that night
Although you live so far,
You make the
world seem right.
You are my lucky star.
I've known for quite a
while
Exactly who you are.
You always make me smile.
You are my
lucky star.
You are my best friend.
No matter where we are,
Our bond
will never end.
You are my lucky star.
Sent from the skies
above.
No matter what shall pass,
It's you I'll always
love.
* * * * *
The Vampire
Eternal Darkness,
forever night
Shimmering flicker of candlelight
Mere serenity, essence of
peace
Desire of life shall never cease
Lost in innocence, lust to
bite
Dawn approaches, remain from sight
* * * * *
Undying Desire
As the sun sets, The
moon rises.
The hunger persists- uncontrolled desires.
I cannot
see.
Obsessed with lust, the will to survive.
This that burns in my eyes-
eternal life.
Forever in youth and beauty,
The moon is my guide.
I've
been moonlight stricken,
Innocent no more.
* * * * *
Broken and Deceived
There is nowhere left
for me to hide.
Why does it seem that everything is different, yet all
the more the same?
And why does it seem that only you are real?
I am
not here. I think I've never been here, alone, and never will.
Why can't you
see that everything is broken?
I am not real. I have made all that I am with
lies.
Wasted thoughts of you.
I am feeling the weight of the world. And
it's crushing me.
Someone break the silence-
Screaming in my head and in
my soul.
I believe in nothing sacred if I can't believe that I am
real.
But none of this matters.
Thoughts disappear just as hopes have
died.
Now I am safe. Nothing can hurt me.
Why can't you understand my need
for forgiveness?
The truth and the lies so confused as one.
I am alone,
even among many...
I am alone.
* * * * *
Jezebel
Ask the Jezebel over
for tea
Give her booze to lose control
Strumpet waters like the gale
sea
Flirt of the Sodomite soul.
Degenerate of the first
degree
Heart of trollops delight
Mermaid or Manatee?
Connoisseur of the
Sodomite.
* * * * *
Seraph's Congregate
Winged angels at
heaven's gate long for earthly smiles.
Never returning to the
challenges of unending play
Or enduring the pain of lost
moments.
In the end, we know not what we endured, only the nothingness
of the chase.
Wondering for some sign of meaning,
Yet knowing
that life is but the fleeting reality of personal joy and pain.
Lost in
the battle to find meaning in what has none.
The human condition
suffered without end and only
The knowledge of life's values to guide
us.
As one day's passing left us intact, but wondering.
Lost
for words and meanings with only today's pleasures to
contemplate
Hell's fire evolving into years.
And us, left with
nothing but the pain and search for meaning.
* * * * *
Aria
A beam across the
night
A sudden shudder of light
Shooting star, silver sparks
Dancing
luminosity
Flashes of light
Magnificence effluence
Dazzling
flashing beam
Radiance coruscating shower of light
Glinting into the dark
night
Then gone forever from sight
Wish upon a star and feel
free
To follow your own starlight.
* * * * *
Remember
The wind blows away my
tears
The rain drowns my sorrow
The fire warms my lonely heart
The
earth gives strength for tomorrow
I can't help but remember
The things
you said in those years.
Tomorrow brings another chance
Don't let it bring
more fears.
Although I have the elements
Below, around, and
above
You give me something they cannot
Compassion, hope, and
love.
* * * * *
Wandering Thoughts
Always wondering what’s goin’ on,
what’s goin’ wrong?
My life never really made sense,
But this is just crazy
I think I’m goin’ crazy
Keep on looking’ for it
Whatever it is, don’t really know
An endless searching, wondering,
Wondering… will I ever know love?
People never see me for who I am.
They look at me, but they don’t really see
Never take time to go deeper and know
I have so much to give if you’d just let me show
Just want someone to hug me, hold me, say it’s gonna be okay
Everything’s gonna be okay, I’ll find a way
A way to make life worth living
More than just plodding through, wanting more
There’s gotta be something there, beyond my sight
Something I’ll see that’ll make it alright
I’ll find the light, I’ll be alright
* * * *
*
More Rambling
Nothing really changes
You just get older
You learn a little more
Perhaps get a bit wiser to the world
Sure, you change, but the rest of the world doesn’t
There’s always the same crap to deal with….
The same ignorance, arrogance, hatred and greed
Everyone wants something, can’t just be
Seems they wanna be chained, don’t wanna be free….
Then you finally learn you can’t help em all
You do all you can, and still they’ll fall
Finally see who your true friends are
Let the negative go and you’ll get far….
* * * *
*
Still Here
When I open my eyes it’s all still here
I’m beginning to realize now why people think severe
Why people want to die, I’ve had those thoughts myself
Most of the time I manage though, to keep ‘em on a dusty shelf
Once in a while, they thoughts will still creep
Right before I find the blessed sleep
What would it feel like? Razors cutting skin
Is blood flowing free of body really such a sin?
Then I open my eyes, and it’s all gone
Suddenly I’m a child again, laying on the lawn
Staring at the sky, watchin’ the clouds, mappin’ the stars
Listening to the night birds sing, crickets chirp, and passin’ cars
Why do I feel so far away? Does anyone listen to what I say?
* * * *
*
Boxes
Packing things up in brown paper boxes
Wondering where life’s taking me now
Standing at the sink and hearing Tom Petty
Singing to me from outside the bathroom window
Last Dance, last chance
Life’s never gonna be the same
But who says different’s gotta be wrong?
We’ll move on, we’ll move on.
* * * *
*
Echo Side
What people see, I never cried
What people know, I never lied
All I wanna do is run and hide
Running swift to the echo side
It seems no matter what I
tried
All I did, my brain got fried
I feel I might as well have died
Running swift to the echo side
Feels like I am bound and tied
Being dragged along for the ride
There’s no more time for me to bide
Running swift to the echo side
They took from me my joy and
pride
Against me all of them have vied
No one left to take my side
Running swift to the echo side
In my loneliness I cried
Into the darkness I have flied
Finally home, I softly sighed
I’ve made it to the echo side
Echo side, echo side
The real me is this echo side
The darkness and the light as well
Welcome to my personal hell
* * * *
*
For Mike
Have you ever wondered what they’re thinking?
Making such heinous noise like a broken record
Scratching nails on a chalkboard
Boring so heavily into my brain
Like the incessant pounding of the falling rain
On a broken down home on a late Wednesday night
It drives me crazy wondering what they really mean
When they ask so innocently “Why?”
Can’t get their thoughts out of my mind
Never forget the way you looked at me in the mirror
With your arm around my neck
Choking the humanity out of my soul
And me, not really caring
Looking back through tear torn eyes
I laugh slowly, not knowing why
As you bring me back down to reality
- - -
As she turned she moaned and bled
A soul surreal on the bed
She could see nothing through the tears
He brought to life all her fears
Like burning razors on her skin
He had cut her from within
* * * *
*
Where Am
I?
I just feel like I don’t belong
What’s going on?
This all feels wrong
I just see faces
In these places
No one is special in this throng
Ever wonder why we stay here
What we’re doing
Just another crazy day here
What we’re proving
There’s no reason left to pray here
What we’re losing
Can’t see ‘cause the fog is too thick
Just feeling sick
Is this a trick?
I’m feeling so lost
What is the cost?
Feels like a habit I can’t kick
Ever wonder why we stay here
What we’re doing
Just another crazy day here
What we’re proving
There’s no reason left to pray here
What we’re losing
* * * *
*
Green Eggs & Spam (EDITED)
Feeling like a stranger in my own head
Drowning in crazy thoughts lying in bed
Can’t put together some cohesive thoughts
That aren’t about paranoid murderous plots
Thinking of taking some stainless steel knives
And taking out all of these dumb trophy wives.
Blood on the floor…. run out the door….
They called her popular, she was a whore
Then with a giggle, a smile and a wink,
I’m back to reality, now I can think
If not for my conscience, I’d likely be dead
So I’ll keep thoughts to myself, inside of my head.
* * * *
*
The Lord & Lady
She is the ground you tread on.
She is the air you breathe.
She is the stars that shine for you.
She is the ocean that calms you.
He is the forest that shades you.
He is the wind that blows.
He is the fire that warms you.
He is the rain that cleanses you.
Never feel that you are alone, just look around and know that you are loved.