The Band: The White Stripes
Here it is folks, the conversation where Bernie himself divulges the reasons he has been banned for life from the Bowery Ballroom....
Henboy55: yo, caN you announce on your website that i got permanently banned from the bowery ballroom last night?
Henboy55: kicked out of the white stripes
tinkEEstar: wwhy
Henboy55: well, all 4 shows sold out in like 15 minutes... i tried to scam my way in by saying i was someone i wasn't on the guest list
Henboy55: they were waiting for me and a bouncer physically through me out and told me i was banned for life... but i got a 3/4 sleeve whitestripes shirt with a monkey on it
Henboy55: threw that should say
tinkEEstar: wait, im confused
Henboy55: about what?
tinkEEstar: by saying i was someone i wasn't on the guest list
tinkEEstar: what does that mean?
tinkEEstar: like you told them you were on it, and you werent?
Henboy55: i tolfd them i was someone that was on it
Henboy55: then that person came in and a man hunt for me bagan
tinkEEstar: hahaha, what name did you use?
Henboy55: jeremy sponder
tinkEEstar: who's that?
Henboy55: some kid who works at other music...he actually knew i was doing it... he thought he was on twice form two different record labels
Henboy55: who are you going to bing with?
Henboy55: the sun never shines at suny B!
tinkEEstar: oh, i dunno, i think my dad
Henboy55: cool
tinkEEstar: wasnt i supposed to go with you?
Henboy55: your mom mentioned it, but she hasn't said anything
tinkEEstar: yeah, then i guess im goin with my dad
Henboy55: cool
tinkEEstar: but if you go back to the bowery, how will they recognize you?
Henboy55: i doubt it, i plan on going back soon
tinkEEstar: haha, for what?
Henboy55: nothing that i know of yet....
tinkEEstar: haha oh, ok, did you pay for the shirt?
Henboy55: yeah
Henboy55: oh well, later
tinkEEstar: ohh, i thought you like grabbed it from backstage
Henboy55: no
tinkEEstar: did you go backstage?
Henboy55: no
tinkEEstar: could you have?
Henboy55: i never even made it upstairs to the stage
tinkEEstar: hahaha
Henboy55: i was only there for like 15 minutes...then i was thrown out!
tinkEEstar: hahaha, that stinks, did you hear the white stripes play at all?
Henboy55: i bought my shirt, went to go upstairs then i was stopped by the man
Henboy55: nope!
tinkEEstar: im sorry to hear that
Henboy55: whta can ya do?
Henboy55: see ya later
Henboy55 signed off at 5:40:11 PM.
The Band: The White Stripes
Scene of the crime: Bowery Ballroom
The Culprit: Cousin Bernie
The Punishment: You may never again enter the gates of the Bowery Ballroom!!!