Some of the obvious changes are selective deafness, inability to apologize and inability to read or ask for directions. In other words, once puberty sets in men can not hear anything they don't like, they fully believe they are always right, and they honestly think they are Mr. Fixit,
If you have been with the same man for a long time and haven't trained him yet it will be much harder but the basic steps are the same. There is no need to tell him what you are going to do. Men understand action and are almost totally deaf to words.
In other words, "Just do it."
Begin as soon as you start dating. The first time he is late, don't be there. Don't call him. Don't be home the first time he calls after the missed date. If he is ever running late again he will call you. If he doesn't, dump him. He's too stupid to work with.
The first time he raises his voice to you, stop what you're doing and stare at him. Don't glare. Just stare. When he starts to look around for an escape say, "If you think yelling is going to help, you are wrong. When you are ready to apologize I'll be (name the place)," and leave. If he lets you leave he is marginal and if he doesn't apologize at least twice, dump him.
If he ever raises a hand to you, whether he actually hits you or not, stare at him. If he actually looks dangerous, leave and never look back. If he starts looking around the room for an escape say, "If you ever touch me in anger don't ever go to sleep. I may not be able to take you in a fair fight but I can kill you in your sleep." He has to believe you mean it so never, never apologize for saying it. In fact, never mention it again.
Now, the selective deafness thing. Never bother with hints. If you want a mink coat, tell him to buy you a mink coat. If you want him to take out the trash, tell him to take out the trash. If he doesn't do it, do it yourself then be too busy for the next thing he wants you to do with or for him. Say, "Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Since you forgot to take out the trash I had to do it myself and I got behind. Maybe I'll have time tomorrow.
If you want him to take part in parenting start by having him go through Lamaze, labor and delivery with you and make sure he holds the baby before you do. When you get the baby to your room have him change the first diaper and rock the baby when he/she cries. Have him fetch things for you while you nurse. If you wait until you get home with the baby he will think you have it all under control and that's the last thing you want a man to think.
Don't play dumb but don't be super-competent. The biggest gift you can give your mate is to let him think you need him. If he believes that you need his help and that he makes you happy he will do nearly anything for you. He might even go flea-marketing with you while the game is on TV.
Tongue out of cheek for a moment. We know all about the flaws in men but something most women don't know until too late (Scarlett O'Hara comes to mind) is that men are 100% loyal no matter what we do to them until they are finally ruined. If yours was ruined when you got him, I'm so sorry for you, but you can bring him back around with patience. If he isn't ruined yet, don't you dare do it to him. Be honest, tell him what's wrong instead of "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you," and never, never cheat on him. He will be loyal for life whether you gain weight, have breasts removed, lose all your hair or become teminally insane. When men stray it is because they know they can be replaced and they see no point in going on. The word "happiness" is not part of the marriage vows for man like it is for a woman. You don't need to make him happy. You just need to let him know he makes you happy.
A man is just as tender and vulnerable as a woman. Maybe more so. Yes, train him. You have to for your own sanity, but above all, look at him with tenderness from time to time and thank him for just existing. And stop there. The more you say the less he hears.
If everything else fails, get naked and do gooey things to him. He'll be your slave.